No Matter What (A Nash Grier Story)

Diagnosis

I hadn't been feeling good lately. I was always tired and I never wanted to move. I thought it was just exhaustion from my busy schedule. I was at the peak of my season for my next musical coming out, "Fiddler on the Roof."

At a small break in the middle of rehearsal, I went to check my phone; "Annual Count Down: 47 minutes." It was Nash, we had a date. I laughed a little and replied "I wish it was sooner. I love you."

I put down the phone when the director screamed.

Going to school only a half an hour away from each other was quite convenient. We both got to see each other often but also go to our dream schools at the same time. Even though things got hard and were busy, Nash kept his vines going. One day, he dreamed of becoming an actor or an entertainer of some sort. We had always joked about getting married. We had never really made plans since the was too far in the future, but we just kinda thought we were the ones for each other. We both decided that if we ever did get married that we were going to buy a crappy fixer-upper house together and turn it into a beautiful living space for the two of us until we had a family. But for now the official plans were to go on a date.

I stood in the foyer of my dorm and waited for the taxi to pull up. Exactly the time he said he would be here, he was here.

I walked quickly up to the cab where he had just started to get out. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up.

"I missed you so much," he said when we broke apart. I smiled and looked down at the ground. I was feeling a little dizzy. I held my hand to my head in hopes to steady myself.

"You ok?" He asked pushing my wavy hair out of my face. I nodded weakly as my hand reached up and gripped his bicep for balance and support. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He looked so concerned and so adorable. "No Liv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just got a little dizzy. That's all, I'm fine now." With the look of concern still spread across his face, he led me into the cab. We sat down and he put his hand on top of mine on the seat. "So how's the musical going?" he asked me. I told him all about how the director was an ass but how the show should turn out to be amazing.

When the cab pulled up to the restaurant we were dinning at, he yelled "NO! Let me..." He got out of the car and pulled the door open for me, allowing me to step out of the taxi.

I yelled a thank you to the driver and grabbed Nash's hand as we walked into the restaurant.

When we were finally seated and had ordered our food, Nash stared at me across the table with a slight smirk on his face. I learned forward and rested my elbows on the table staring back with the same look on my face. "What?" I asked.

"I just can't get over the fact that you are the most beautiful girl in this entire restaurant, this entire world actually, and I'm the one who gets to love you. It's kinda amazing actually."

I looked down at my lap, laughing at his cheesy comment.

We spent the rest if the night laughing, and eating, and falling in love all over again. But by the end of the night I was exhausted. Not the exhausted were you "need to go to bed soon. My feet hurt and I'm tired," I felt like "if you don't give me a chair right now I'm going to faint. Get me home now, I think I'm going to be sick." One extreme to the other isn't always a happy thing.

"Nash, I need to get home," I said clutching his arm to keep me up. We were walking down the street to our favorite candy shop in town. Quickly he spun so he was facing me. I looked into his eyes and they turned to fear as he watched me become helpless on the borderline of collapse.

"Nash," my lips spoke in a whisper.

Whistling, he called a taxi and put me inside. He instructed the cab driver to take me back to my dorm.

"You really need to get some rest. You're very over-tired. Promise me you'll go home and go to bed?" he asked me. I shook my head weakly.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry," I told him. I knew something was wrong though, I could just tell.

I decided to go to the doctors the next day. I didn't ask anyone to go with me, I just wanted to go alone so no one freaked out about me.

After waiting in the waiting room for what felt like hours, the doctor finally came in. I told him everything that was going on and they ran a few tests. They were drawing blood and doing other things I didn't even know existed.

I sat in an empty, boring, white room as I waited for the doctor to come in and tell me what was wrong with me. I anxiously tapped my feet on the ground and cracked my fingers. Finally the doctor came in. What I heard next was the worst moment of my entire life:

"Olivia, you have Leukemia."

My legs stopped tapping. My lungs stopped breathing. And my heart stopped beating. I was in a block of ice, frozen in time. I was flying in the sky on a plane that was crashing. I have leukemia.