To whoever finds this...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for not having the courage to tell you about what has been going on in my head. I'm sorry for not being able to face my problems, I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for the pain that I may cause. I'm sorry that you're reading this letter.
I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was no longer in control of my life. Everything around was overwhelming me and I didn't know what to do. No matter what I did, it was always wrong or never good enough. I was yelled at for the simplest of things. I didn't know where to channel my hurt, my anger, my pain... So I did the only thing I thought was right. To inflect the pain that I was feeling internally, to my physical body. It started out with a little line here, or a scrape there... But of course it turned into something bigger than me and that soon took over my life as well.
I couldn't escape. I felt trapped. No where to hide, no where to run... Just me battling myself. And apparently I was still losing.
Right now, it has gotten to the point where I can't look at myself without finding something wrong. I hate what I see. I hate what I am... I'm my own enemy. I can't find anything that's worth looking at. I don't know why people do... I'm useless. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm a mistake.
I am nothing.
I don't know if there's a heaven or a hell, but I know there is something after death... And I hope it is way better than what I was living in before.
And Mitch, I know this may hurt now... But you will move on. You will find someone so much better than me because you deserve better. I was never enough. I was never going to be enough. I just couldn't bare more heartache... Kiss Wyatt for me.
Goodbye,
Scott
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Wow. I cried while writing this. I just needed to get some things off my chest. Sorry
