Going Under | Sitkolson [C]

7. A LESSON NEVER LEARNED

After the little 'incident' walking to school, the guys were cautious around me. Even my own brother was treating me like a piece of glass. I hated it. I wasn't crazy. Well, I hoped I wasn't. I wasn't a baby that they had to look out for. I was an eighteen year old.

"They're only keeping an eye on you, Ricky."

I glared down at my test paper, "I don't care, Ryan. I'm not a baby. I can look out for myself."

"Is that why you almost walked to your death?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek, "You weren't there, Ryan."

"Actually, I was. And, I know you saw it, but you shouldn't have walked to it."

"And why is that?"

"Because it wasn't real."

"If it wasn't real," I growled, "How did you see it?"

"I see a lot of things."

"Cut the shit, Ryan." I said, unfortunately a little too loud.

• • •

I sighed, turning to Josh who was talking to Ryan Ashley.

Only my maths teacher would give me detention for swearing. Only her.

As much as I hated detention, I enjoyed it because I was able to stay away from the house even longer. I wasn't even one hundred percent sure if Tara and Phil were there or not, but I still wanted to be away from it.

I had lost the ability to call it home long ago. Just like I had lost the ability to call Tara my mother. The guys always were and always will be my family. They were all I need and all I ever would.

Since I scored another detention, Ryan had left me alone. Well, I wouldn't really consider it being left alone when I actually enjoyed his company, but he did. Whether he felt bad or not, I didn't know. All I really did know was that I sort of... missed him...

"At least I know I'm likeable."

I bit my lip, holding back a smile as I rolled my eyes, "You're not too bad."

He chuckled, "Thanks."

I frowned, looking at the clock, "I've been wondering... When can I see you?"

"Very soon. I swear."

"Cross your heart?" I teased, leaning back.

"What heart?"

I let out a laugh, grabbing the attention of Ryan Ashley and Josh and a few others in the room.

Maybe talking to someone in my head with people surrounding me wasn't the best thing, but at least I was talking to him, I guess.

Since he had spoken to me in my first dream a few days ago, I had felt myself starting to slowly see him as a friend. Was it bad that he was in my head and I saw him as a that? I mean, Josh is always talking about spirits and supernatural crap, maybe Ryan wasn't human or something...?

"Ah, you'll see me soon. That's all I can say."

I nodded my head, "I believe you. Can I at least know when...?"

"Ricky!"

I chuckled, swinging back on my chair, "Fine, fine. I'll talk to you later."

"See ya."

At that point in time, I was very confused.

Was it normal? Was it normal to have a conversation with a voice in your head like it's an actual person? Sure, the supernatural theory could work, but I didn't believe in it enough to actually believe it. But... people that aren't the most sane can never admit it. Why am I feeling that I am, indeed, seeing things and speaking to people no one else can see or speak to?

• • •

With a sigh, I pushed open the door to the house, relieved when I heard no one there.

For a house that had a fairly... messed up 'family', it was a pretty clean house. Sure, there were beer bottles and chip packets, and a few broken glasses, but it wasn't too bad. Nothing I couldn't clean up in a half hour or so. So, I got it out of the way and headed straight to the kitchen, scrunching my nose up at the smell.

Usually, I'd have to buy Devin and I food because they simply couldn't, but other times we just couldn't eat.

I wanted Devin to be happy, and healthy. All of which he wasn't when living there. Another reason why he's staying with Angelo.

"I like that you care so much about him."

I sighed, stacking the dishes in the dishwasher, "He's my brother, Ryan."

"True. But usually brothers fight a lot."

I shrugged my shoulders, "We have our moments."

"Want some help?" He asked, chuckling.

"I mean, if you want to..."

"Give me a few seconds."

I frowned, looking up, then behind me to see Ryan in his hoodie again, still not showing me his face.

I didn't understood why it was so important to hide himself from me. It's not like I, of all people, could judge him.

"It's not about judging me, Rick."

I rolled my eyes at the name, "Why can't I see you? And can you always read my mind or something?"

"You can't see because I don't want to harm you, and I can only read your mind when I'm not physical."

I frowned, "Not physical?"

"Solidified."

"So... you're like a ghost?" I asked, stopping my actions.

He did, too, not raising his head though, "Not even close."

"What are you then?" I placed the last plate in, then shut the door, starting it and looking back up at him.

"Nothing, really," He sighed, shaking his head, "I shouldn't even be talking to you. It only brings them closer."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I gotta go." Ryan mumbled before quickly disappearing, leaving me standing in the kitchen with a slack jaw.

'Nothing' my ass. No human can disappear that fast on their own legs. He may've seen himself as nothing, but I saw him as something. He just wouldn't talk to me long enough to actually give me a chance to make a friend out of him.