Going Under | Sitkolson [C]

25. CARRY THE TORCH

RYAN

I raised an elbow and connected it with Nikki's head, causing his grip to loosen.

Just as I looked back up, Craig had a hold of Ricky's body, sending me one last wink before disappearing with Ricky and his men.

I dropped to the floor, the tears running down my face splashing onto the damp dirt that I stood on.

It was all my fault. If I had listened to Chris, maybe we could've worked something else out. We could've thought of something, anything, but I gave into a Demon and believed every word he said. I should've listened to Chris, though, because he was right. Goddamnit, he always was.

He said there'd be no force...

Craig only told me a few things of what they'd do to Ricky. From what I heard it was nothing bad. He told me they'd run a few tests to see what needed to be 'fixed', and what needed to be 'added'. What he didn't tell me was that he wouldn't be alone, and that he wouldn't use the force he did.

I knew, after those few seconds of Ricky not being near me, that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. And I did.

I let Craig take him in hopes of getting him better, but he didn't need to be fixed. We could've done everything by ourselves. Like I said, though, I listened to a fucking Demon.

"Fuck!" I yelled, repeatedly hitting the ground as I went from sad to angry.

How would I be able to tell Devin? How would I be able to tell any of them? Chris wouldn't have, because he was barely in on it, so it was up to me. Devin would probably scream at me, kill me, anything he could. If I'm honest, I wanted him to do that. Judging by the force Craig used and the way he took Ricky, he was far from living up to his promise. There was no way I could get Ricky back, either, because I had no idea where they were taking him. It was all my fault.. No one else's but mine.

• • •

Slowly, I shut the door behind me, my back pressed against it as I fought back the tears.

All that was on my mind was how Devin would take it. I had just given his brother up.. There was no way in Hell he'd let me walk for that one. No way.

"Ryan-" Josh caught himself when he saw me, frowning, "What's wrong?"

Just seeing him worried made me let out a small sob and fall forward, thankful that he ran to me in time to catch me.

I gripped on to his shirt, my tears staining the black fabric.

He pulled me to him, rubbing small circles on my back to try and comfort me.

"Hey, hey," He pulled back, frowning, "What's wrong? Where's Ricky?"

I shook my head and started crying again, letting my head fall back on to his shoulder.

We stood like that for a few minutes, him hugging me and trying to comport me and me balling my eyes out on his shirt.

The only thing that made me look up was the sound of more footsteps.

First I saw Ryan Ashley, then Vinny and Devin, then Chris and Ange.

Each of them were confused, especially Angelo and Devin.

Chris looked into my eyes for a few seconds before turning his back in me, running a hand through his hair.

"No." He mumbled, dragging the word out.

"What?" Angelo turned to him, his eyes wide in confusion.

Finally, Devin asked the question, "Where's Ricky?"

I sniffed and wiped at my tears, looking him in the eyes, "Devin, j-just, listen-"

"Where's Ricky?" He asked, this time louder, "Ryan, where the fuck is my brother?"

"He's gone!" I yelled, biting my lip straight after.

I didn't mean for it to come out like that, but it was all I had. I couldn't explain it, because I wouldn't even make it half way through without breaking down.

The look in Devin's eyes brought more tears to my own.

He shook his head, "What do you mean?"

"I..."

Chris stepped in for me, "A Demon took him. He wanted to try and make it better, but..." He trailed off, dropping his head.

Angelo looked up at him with glassy eyes, "You knew?"

"Ange, I didn't-" Chris made a move to grab Angelo, but he stopped him.

"No." He shoved Chris back, "You fucking knew, and you didn't even try to stop it."

"I wanted to!" Chris shot back, "Ricky was my friend, too, Ange."

"No!" He pushed Chris back again, "Don't you dare pull that card. You could've... We could've helped him ourselves, but you... You two lost faith."

"Angelo, we-"

Angelo wiped at his eyes, sniffing, "We're over." He shook his head and ripped the ring off of his finger, shoving it into Chris' chest, "I can't forgive you. Not after this."

He pushed past everyone and ran out the front door, leaving Chris sadder than he was two minutes ago.

He and Angelo had gone through everything together. There wasn't a thing they didn't take on without each other. They solved their problems together, they helped each other, they literally did everything together. To have Ange leave Chris is like Chris losing his other half.

"You fucking asshole." Devin made a move to run at me, but Vinny held him back, whispering things into his ear, "You son of a bitch! You never loved him. Ever!"

Devin fell to his knees, Vinny's arms still around him as he did.

Vinny himself buried his head into Devin's neck, trying his best to not let anyone see his tears.

Josh took a small step back from me, his lips parted in shock.

I knew Josh before I knew Ricky. He was like my brother. Just like Vinny was. I could see that he no longer trusted me, and I didn't blame him.

Chris punched the closest wall and stormed out of the area, knocking over several things that he passed.

All I could hear at the time was the sound of Chris' yelling, him smashing things, and Devin's sobs.

He lost his brother. He was probably in more pain than I was. And it was all because of me.

Because of that one mistake, I lost my brother, I lost Devin's trust, Chris lost Angelo, and I lost Ricky. We all did. And it was all because of me. For this, I deserved to lay in Hell. I didn't think about the outcome before practically handing Ricky over, and this is what it came to. At the time, I didn't realise that losing Ricky meant losing everything.

A/N: Soooo, this is the end. I know, I know, it's not the best, and super cliché, so sorry bout. Hey, look on the bright side; Ricky still has one life left and no one else rememberssss. Anything could happen, you'll just have to wait if you still care. 😂😂
Thank you for reading~!! ❤️