Going Under | Sitkolson [C]

16. UNDERSTANDING

I don't know where Ryan got the car from, but we spent at least two hours driving until he finally pulled up at an old house.

Looking up at it, Ryan's eyes held happiness, but I could also see guilt and regret within them.

He quickly got out of the car and walked to my side, opening the door and offering me his hand.

Squinting, I let him pull me out of the car.

Ryan and I hadn't been anywhere by ourselves yet, so I was a little worried. Something about this house seemed familiar, though, I just couldn't place my finger on it.

It was a white, double story house with a fairly large wooden door. It looked recently built, but I still felt as if I knew it from somewhere.

With my hand still in his, Ryan walked up the driveway and to the front door.

He had next to no trouble in opening the door and leading me through the house.

Even with it being very modern, he knew his way around better than I did in Josh's house.

"Is this your house?" I asked, looking around.

He nodded, pulling me out the back, "It was our house."

It made sense, I guess.. The familiarity was explained.. How he knew his way around.. Not to mention the small photo of the two of us on a bookcase.

Closing the door behind us, Ryan walked down the steps so we were standing on the grass.

It was a fairly large backyard. The grass was green, and stood at a decent height. What stood out the most, though, was the massive oak tree that was planted at the back of the yard.

It had some sort of pull to it.. I don't know what, but I found myself dropping Ryan's hand and taking small steps to it.

Because we had spent so long driving here, it was just past midday, so the sun was hidden behind the tree, causing an orange glow to emerge between each gap in the tree.

You know how in those movies, a character touches something and they get flashes of their forgotten memories? That's what I experienced as I set my hand on the trunk of the tree.

Behind my closed eyes, I saw flashes of the moments I shared with Ryan. His smile, his laugh, us.. I could tell there were gaps missing, but I remembered more than what I had at the start of the day.

I saw Ryan standing next to this tree, Chris, Angelo, Josh, Vinny and Devin around him as I made my way to him. He was in a suit, smiling brightly when his eyes landed on me. There were fairy lights tangled in the tree branches, giving him a light glow in the pale moonlight.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, cutting the memory short. I didn't jump, because I knew it was Ryan, but I did turn my head slightly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing my shoulder gently.

"I... This is where we got married, isn't it?" I questioned, lowering my hand from the tree and turning to face him.

He nodded, smiling, "You remember?"

"A little bit, yeah," I said, stepping forward, "Do you have the ring?"

Reaching a hand up, Ryan grabbed a chain from around his neck and pulled it out of his shirt and over his head.

I bit my lip.

Would it be right if I asked? I mean, I remember the majority of our memories, and I remember the feelings we shared, because I'm feeling them now. But, I don't remember the feeling of what it was like to be with him.

"Is it okay if I have it?" I whispered, still biting my lip.

"Do you want it?"

Slowly, I nodded and stayed quiet as he placed the chain around my neck, running a hand through my hair to lay it over it.

"Do you remember what we did after?"

I took my lip piercings between my teeth, nodding, "Yeah.."

He exhaled slowly, staying still for a few moments before leaning down and pressing a kiss to my forehead, "You'll remember more, you just have to wait a while."

I silently agreed, letting him take my hand in his and lead me back into the house and straight up to the master bedroom.

From the way I felt as soon as I walked through the room, I knew this was ours. Not to mention that there were several photos of us. Some from our wedding, some with us and the others, and some with us not even looking at the camera.

I picked up one of just Ryan and I, smiling at it. We were sitting beside each other, my head on Ryan's shoulder and our hands intwined. We were both smiling. Probably at nothing, probably at each other's company. Even during those times, all those years, I could still see-

I get it now.. In every lie they told me, the truth was hidden within them. Even when they weren't lying, they weren't telling the whole truth. I finally get it.

"I understand now.." I mumbled, causing Ryan to frown.

"What do you mean?"

I turned to face him, looking up, "Even when you guys told me you were telling me the truth, you left a few details out and filled them with something random. My dreams were real, yes. But, man, you guys are good liars. We've known each other –all of us– for years. That photo proves it. When I'm not thinking about you, people make their way into my head, because you're the only one that can keep them out. Whatever we have.. It's been around for a long time, and my brother and our friends knew about it, they just pretended they didn't. And, it's strong enough to keep people out because.." I closed my eyes and sighed, "You get what I mean, yeah?"

He chuckled, nodding, "Yeah. And, I'm sorry about lying to you. Even when I said I wasn't. And, yes, Devin and Josh did pretend about being oblivious to us. I just didn't want you to find out and think I'm some creep, or something."

I laughed under my breath, "I would never think you're a creep, Ry."

He smiled at the nickname, "Good."

I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, "Come on. I wanna spend a little while here before going back."