I neatly folded the last of my clothes into my suitcase, bringing the zipper around and closing it. I moved my luggage - my suitcase in addition to my large, brown leather duffel bag - to the doorway. A switch clicked in my head, reminding me of what I had to do. I quietly made my way upstairs, making sure the floorboards didn't creak when I reached the top. I peeked into Ella's room through the crack in the door. She slept soundly, buried underneath her blanket. She looked so innocent, despite the fact that she was basically anything but. I was aware that this might be the last time I would be able to see her. I sighed before slowly closing the door, making sure it didn't wake her.
"Harry?" a small voice spoke from underneath the blanket.
I poked my head back in the doorway to see Ella sitting slightly upright, eyes half-lidded. I shuffled against the carpeted floor towards her, standing adjacent to where she lay on the bed. The room was completely dark, except for the illumination of the moon and the few street lights coming in through the window.
"Are you leaving? What time is it?" she asked groggily.
"Yes, I'm leaving, and it's time for you to go back to bed," I said.
"Can't you leave in the morning like a normal person?"
"But I'm not normal," I chuckled.
"Can you..." she paused, swallowing her words for a moment before exhaling. "Can you just stay with me until the morning? Please?"
"Ella, I don't - "
"Harry, this time I'm actually asking you. Just for tonight. Please."
I could hear the desperation in her voice, and I wasn't sure if it was from her being tired or actually wanting me to stay the night. Either way, I couldn't possibly say no.
I took a deep breath, becoming engrossed in my thoughts of what could happen tomorrow morning. Those thoughts were quickly pushed to the back of my mind as I took off my shoes, Ella sliding over to make room for me. I sank down next to her, swinging my legs onto the bed. She immediately shaped her body into mine, her figure seeming so petite and delicate as her arms snaked around my torso. Her head warmly nuzzled into my neck, resting on my chest. I planted a chaste kiss in her hair as she slightly squeezed my side.
"Thank you," she mumbled, nodding off.
I blankly stared at the cream white ceiling, my conjectures of what was happening blurring together to form something I couldn't take apart.
"You're welcome," I breathed.
___________________
The bright light from the window pierced my eyes before they burst open. It took me a few moments to remember that Harry slept beside me. A small smile played on my lips, knowing that I would be greeted with a smirk and beaming green eyes. I rolled over on my side, only to see an indentation in the sheets. I scrunched my eyebrows, confused. I sat upright, expecting Harry to walk through the door and apologize for scaring me or make some kind of arrogant joke. But the door was partially open, and no one entered.
I felt tears pricking at my eyes and my throat began to sting.
The only reason I wanted Harry to stay until morning was so I could say goodbye properly, and tell him how I felt. Or how I thought I felt. But he's gone, and I'm not going to be able to see him or talk to him or even be around him for god knows how long.
Tears began spilling over the brim of my eyes at the thought.
"Hey, El, we're - "
I quickly wiped my cheeks, clearing my throat. "What's up, Austin?" I said with a shaky voice.
"What's goin' on?" he asked, becoming concerned.
"Nothing, I just - I yawned too much," I lied.
"El, I'm your brother. C'mon, what's wrong?" He set himself down on the edge of my bed.
"Harry left," I sighed. "And, uh, I didn't even get to say goodbye or anything."
Austin looked at me, obviously unsure of what to say.
I fiddled with my fingers. "It's like dad all over again." My lip quivered as I tried to fight against my emotions. "I think that's why it hurts so much."
"Well, I don't know Harry that well - hell, I don't know him at all. But I know he's nothing like dad."
I turned my attention back to him while he gave me a reassuring smile.
"But I can tell you this much, he's a prick for leaving," he blurted out.
I laughed, causing him to laugh as well.
"Everything'll be okay, muppet. I promise."
I nodded, pulling him into a hug. He patted my back before standing up.
"I made pancakes for everyone, so you better get your ass outta bed."
I let out a breathy chuckle. "I'll be down in a minute."
As Austin strides out, the word pancakes somehow broke my heart. The memory of Harry kissing me on the kitchen floor, covered in flour that we were supposed to make breakfast with flashed in broken parts through my head. How the kiss was incomparable to all other times he had kissed me. How I swore there was a legitimate spark on our lips. How afterwards he told me he felt something for me. Something more.
And I didn't even get the chance to tell him that I think I feel the same way.
