"I just want you to come home, Harry," I almost whined, mentally reprimanding myself for how childish I sounded. I took a moment before out a heavy sigh. I then hung up, placing my phone on the counter.
It had been ten days since I last heard from Harry. I made time to call him throughout the day; in the morning, at home, during work, as I was now. He didn't return any of my calls or leave any voicemails; I assumed his phone was either off or he was ignoring my calls. Either way, I was desperate. I was desperate and unaccompanied and I was yearning for him. For him to be beside me while I plunged into a cavernous sleep. For him to kiss away my worries about college and work and life, in general. For him to peck my nose and tell me I was beautiful, despite the fact that a hundred and ten percent of the time I was potentially a walking corpse. For him to be my pillar, as he wanted to be.
But Harry wasn't here to do any of that, and I was gradually beginning to collapse without him keeping me upright.
I groaned, resting my head on my folded forearms that remained on the worktop.
"Ella," Mitch called from behind me. "If you need to take another day - "
"No," I mumbled, raising up to rotate to face him on my stool. "I'm not gonna leave you with all these people."
The shoppe had seen spurts booming business, and I assumed it was because the temperature outside was above twenty degrees. There was the option for customers to eat their meals inside in booths, or outside underneath small tables shaded with umbrellas.
"You look horrid," he admitted honestly.
I scoffed, giving a sarcastic grin. "Thanks."
"No, I mean you look...exhausted."
"I know," I sighed.
The truth was, I was more than exhausted, I was drained. It was as if when Harry left he took all of the energy I needed to do regular day-to-day activities with him. I felt lifeless.
"Have you slept?"
"Somewhat," I said hesitantly.
"What's somewhat?"
"Does three hours a night count?" I said hesitantly.
"Ella!" Mitch rebuked. "What have you been doing that's only letting you get three hours of sleep?"
I avoided his judgemental gaze, eyes roaming.
"You've been looking for Harry," he said knowingly.
My attention turned back to him. My nights had been spent coming in contact with people who had known him, including all of Harry's friends, Niall specifically, who knew him the best. He had told me that a situation to this extent had never happened, and he honestly had no notion as to how Harry would handle something like this. All Niall said was that he would most likely do something completely irrational and simpleminded. He also said he would've probably brought some type of alcohol with him.
Not only did I get ahold of Niall, but I stooped down to getting in touch with the press. I wanted to see if they had seen him wandering around streets or knew of his whereabouts. I understood that calling the press was pushing it, but I made sure not to specify that he was missing. I simply gave off the idea that I was an obsessed ex-girlfriend that was following him around. Surprisingly, they didn't ask any questions. It's frightening, almost, what lengths I would go to for Harry. I wouldn't give up an extra four hours of rest for anyone else.
"Listen to me, alright?" Mitch's expression deemed sympathy. "I know you're worried about him. I know you miss him. I know you want him home and safe. Trust me, I do too. Because seeing you put yourself through this for him is physically painful for me to watch. But give yourself a break. When he's ready, he'll come back to you. Whatever he's going through, he needs to sort it out, obviously. And sometimes, you just have to let people do that themselves."
I took in his statement, finding truth in them. But he didn't understand Harry. He didn't understand that Harry can't sort things out by himself. He was never able to. He always had someone to vent to, to give voice to the thoughts that were eating away at him. He had his mother, he had William, and now he has me. And I'm afraid that since he believes that he has no one, those thoughts will devour him completely. But I needed to find him, tell him he still has me. He'll always have me.
A buzzing against the marble interrupted our conversation. I opened my mouth to apologize, but was cut off.
"Go ahead, take it," he said, irritated.
I quickly grabbed my phone, thumb pressing against the green button as I rushed through the door.
"Hello?" I answered franticly.
"Ella?" a voice spoke, Irish accent evident.
"Oh," I droned. "Hi, Niall."
"I know, you're disappointed," he chuckled.
"No, no, I just..." My cheeks puffed while I emitted a extensive breath. "What's up?"
"Have you seen the new issue of 'Reveal' magazine?"
I paused for a moment, confused as to why Niall, of all people, would want to discuss magazines. "Listen, Niall, I don't know if you've noticed, but now isn't the best time to dish out the latest gossip," I laughed nervously.
"What if the lastest gossip was about Harry?"
My eyebrows knit together. "What?"
"Harry is on the cover of the magazine, Ella."
I rushed back inside, making a beeline for the magazine stand in the corner.
"Reveal, reveal, reveal..." I muttered to no one in particular, my index finger scanning over the letters to find the R's.
I came across a pink quarterly with the word "Reveal!" in bulky yellow letters across the top. On the front was a harrowing image of Harry. His eyes were full blown and tinged red, clearly from crying, hair in a disheveled mop on his head. A bottle of whiskey lay adjacent to him in the passenger seat. My heart shattered as it dropped to my stomach.
The caption alongside the picture read:
Harry Styles: From young, wealthy bachelor to a depressed drunk. What else is to come of this twenty-three year old?
Anger instantly swirled within me, chewing on the inside of my cheek to refrain myself from screaming at a random customer.
"I can't believe this," I shook my head, voice coming out softer than expected.
"We have to find him, Ella. Before he destroys himself."
___________________
My knuckles repeatedly tapped against the wood door. I prayed that they hadn't forgotten me, or thought differently of me. They were my last resort.
The door creaked open, revealing pelagic blue orbs and rippling grey hair.
"Harry!" she exclaimed.
"Hi, Mrs. Penworth," I smiled.
She excitedly pulled me in for a tight hug, patting my back appreciatively. She rambled on about how she hadn't seen me in years, and how handsome I've grown, and how she's always thinking about me, ignoring the fact that I haven't stayed in touch like I promised to. Even though she's babbling about five things at once, it's still comforting knowing there's someone who still finds interest in me.
She invites me in, and I hoped this consolation wasn't temporary.
- AUTHOR'S NOTE -
ok i don't know if you guys remember but mr. and mrs. penworth was that old couple in chapter four that were regular customers of ella and they were friends with her yeah yeah and i'm v happy because i have chapters prewritten so i'll probably put them up this weekend or early of next week ok thanks love you
