Filled With Pain ©

Twenty.

Twenty.

Months later.

“Who’s a beautiful girl? Who’s a beautiful girl? Emi-Rose is a beautiful girl. Yes you are. Oh yes you are!” Ramel said while holding Emi in the air.

“Put her down Mel, I’ve just fed her.” I said as I took her out of his hands and placed her in the Moses basket.

“Sorry, sorry but I’m going to miss her.” He said while pulling his suitcases.

“She’ll miss you too...and I’m going to miss you too Melly.” I said while eating my sandwich.

“Why you so fat for? Always eating. And I’m gonna miss you too Stoney.”

“You haven’t called me that in ages!” I grinned.

“It’s just a name.” Ramel said,

“No, it’s the principle!” I said.

“Whatever. TAIJAH HURRY UP!”

Him and Taijah were going on holiday for Christmas and leaving me in this dump.

I would definitely miss him being there to help me out with Emi.

But I guess, I had to learn to do that by myself.

They were going through Trinidad and Tobago for a week and Taijah would stay with her family while Ramel goes back to Brooklyn for 2 weeks.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go back home with me for abit?”

“No...It’s too late. I aint even got a ticket.”

“I’m sure I can buy one at the airport.”

“NO! Too many memories anyways. Just go have fun.  I’ve got  Grandma and Malakai to keep me company. Oh and my school books.” I said while adding a fake laugh.

“Nah, this is the first time we won’t spend Christmas or our birthday together.”   Our birthday was the 24th December. So extra presents.

“I know but...we can’t always be together.” I shrugged.

“I will miss you though.”  Ramel said while kissing my forehead.

“I’ll miss you too...but just go have fun. Oh and look for clues for mummy’s murderer. I think about her every day. I have nightmares on what her scream would have sounded like as it happened.” I said as tears dropped.

“No..Don’t cry. Don’t! Plus mum told us not to get involved. We have to respect her wishes.”

 “Wishes? Someone after pops, murdered her! We have to do something. Just think about it.” I kissed his forehead and walked him to the door.

“Get me some sweets. Tell Big Mike to call me sometime. Just have fun aite? Love you bro bro!” I said as they left.

I sat down and just looked at the Moses basket.

Why was life so hard?

There was a knock on the door.

“ROCKY, GET THAT OKAY?!” Grandma shouted. I nodded like she could see me.

I opened the door to see my science teacher for school.

“Oh...Miss Cunningham...what are you doing here?”  I asked in shock.

“I’m here to tutor you. And Mr Piers will be here tomorrow.” She said while smiling.

“But why?” Just then Emi-Rose started crying. “Uh...err come in.” I rushed into the living room and picked her up.

“Don’t cry Emi.” I said while rubbing her back. “Come on baby, stop crying mummy’s here.”

“That’s why.” Miss Cunningham said. I turned around as Emelia calmed down.

“What do you mean?”

“Your grandma contacted the school letting us know about your situation. It’s not right for you to fall back just because you have a child. So we decided to teach you during weekends and half terms. Your one of the schools best students.” I smiled.

“Thank you so much. That means so much to me.” I rocked Emi.

“Who’s this beauty?”

“My daughter Emelia-Rose.” I smiled at her.

“Beautiful. Should we start? We’ve got alot to get through before your exam.” I nodded.

*

Christmas had gone and I had got a temporary job in Primark – don’t judge me-  I had to tell them that I was 16 for them to even consider me for the job.

I was on the way to Shalom’s when some boy stopped me.

“Hello miss.” He said. I turned to him.

“Yeah?” I asked while looking at my phone.

“I just wanted to tell you that your beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise”  He said while smiling. He had a dimple.

“Aww, thank you love.” I said while smiling.

“You welcome beautiful, whats your name?” He asked while taking a seat next to me under the bus shelter.

“Uhm...Rockelle.” I looked at the time on my phone. I was running late with picking Emi up and running late for my maths lesson.

“Nice name, I can see that you’re running late so can I just take your number and I’ll see how you’re doing later on?” He was so sweet.

“Alright.” I gave him my number.

“I’ll call you later.” He said while getting up to walk away.

“I didn’t catch your name, I called after him..”

“You’ll find out in a due time beautiful.” .