Command Me

Chapter 24

(Not edited)

~ Perrie's Pov ~

The room was spartan, save for a bookshelf and a few framed pictures on the desk. I did my best not to gawk at the family photos of Jade with her father and brother . Jade watched me as I looked at one of the portraits.
"He was handsome," I murmured as I studied the photo of Karl on his horse.
Jade nodded stiffly. "He loved to ride horses."
"What happened?" I asked in a soft voice. There were still walls standing between us, and more than ever, I understood how much we needed to tear them down.
"Perrie I wish honestly wish I knew." She spoke sincerely, and my heart ached for her loss and her confusion. The guilt had broken her but facing it might allow her to finally heal. "I remember flashes. That's why I continued to invite Leigh Anne to events."
She told me this with some hesitation, so I forced an encouraging smile onto my face. As much as I hated Leigh Anne, I'd track her down myself if she could give Jade the answers she needed to move past the accident.
"I was drinking and my brother showed up. He was underage, and I yelled at him for being at a bar." Jade struggled to remember, and I placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "For some reason we left. I don't remember much after that. And what I do remember, I can't burden you with."
"Nothing between us, Jade. No secrets."
"I remember how slippery his blood was on my fingers. He sagged like a rag doll. I remember the heat of the fire as it blazed across my skin, but I couldn't leave him there, even though I couldn't carry him." Jade's eyes had grown distant, fading to another place and time. "I was so scared that I didn't even feel the frame of the door in my side. I'd been impaled, but I wouldn't leave him, so we burned together."
I choked back a sob and nodded, trying to stay strong for Jade even as my imagination painted a gruesome picture for me. "And Leigh Anne?"
"She'd been flung from the car. Broken bones," she said. "If she remembers more than me, she's never admitted it."
"Jade, what happened was horrible." I brushed back an strand of hair from her forehead. "But it wasn't your fault."
"Why don't you see the monster when you look at me?" She asked. "Everyone else does."
"They don't see you like I do." My words were faint as I gathered my courage. "They don't love you like I—"
"I'm sorry," Jade interrupted my confession. "I just need a minute." She staggered to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
You scared her away, my critical side admonished me. I pushed the thought away, refusing to believe it. If Jade said she needed a minute, I would give it to her.
I didn't go after her. She would come back out, and I needed time to digest what she'd told me. The physical details of the accident were public knowledge. But why couldn't she remember anything?
A knock on the door pulled me away from my thoughts, and I opened it with some trepidation. The queen's eyebrow raised when she saw me, and I knew what she was thinking.
I bowed my head to her as she entered. The queen paced the perimeter of the room, pausing to pick up the photograph of her husband and Karl. Taking a deep breath, I moved closer to see this one. The King was quite handsome he hugged a young Karl to his chest. Karl was a miniature version of his father. Somehow the photo had managed to capture them so vibrantly that when I looked at it I felt as though I had known them.
Of course, in a way, I had through Jade. They lived in her memory, and I had faith that one day they would no longer haunt her. Instead, she would remember only the good times. That's why it was so important to help her find the answers she needed.
"The King was an ideal royal husband," The queen said, running her hand along the edge of the polished frame. "He was modest, loyal, and above all: deferential."
I pressed my lips together to keep my thoughts about this to myself.
"Many people believed our marriage was arranged for us, but it wasn't," she continued. "His family sought asylum here when Greece exiled their monarchy. He was thrown into my circles, and to be honest with you, I fell in love with him the first day we met."
I wasn't certain why she was sharing this with me, but I nodded encouragingly.
"My husband was brought up amongst the aristocracy. He knew what to expect. He knew his role." She placed the frame back on the desk and turned to meet my eyes. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"
"Your husband was groomed to be King," I said softly, but I couldn't bring myself to add the rest of her message. I was not.
"I hope you see that this isn't a personal vendetta against you, Miss Edwards. I could even sanction a relationship between you and Luke, but it's my duty to look out for the interests of the monarchy." Her words were crisp clean and concise but they still sliced through me, cutting me to my very soul. I bit back a gasp of anguish.
"I'm not Luke's type," I said coldly, and the chill of my words shivered through my skin. I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing Jade would return.
"And that proves my point," she replied with a congratulatory tip of her head. "Appearances are the key to the Royal Family's survival. Think of how the story would solidify my family. Luke steals you away from his older cousin. Jade would make a suitable match, and what happens behind closed doors would be your business."
"Are you suggesting I marry your nephew so I can be Jade's mistress?" I asked the question aloud because I thought hearing it might make help me comprehend the Queen's suggestion. Instead I felt more confused than ever.
"The second thing only a Royal would understand is sacrifice."
I choked back a laugh at this. "How is lying and cheating and hiding a sacrifice?"
"I never said it was. I'm talking about sacrificing happiness, about sacrificing selfish desires. Jade believes she wants you now, but if she gives up her title her birthright do you think she'll thank you in ten years?" The queen caught a strand of my hair and rolled it between her fingers. "She won't. Consider this: what about you? How will you feel in ten years? But what if you sacrificed your concept of happiness now and settled? In ten years, when she's lost interest in you, you'll have a title and a life."
"I can't believe you would honestly think that I would do that to either of them." The shivers had grown to tremors, and I clutched my arms protectively. How could she believe I was capable of that? And why would she believe that I saw it as a viable alternative to being with Jade?
She paused for a long moment, regarding me with tired eyes. "You might as well know then that expectations are in place for Jade."
"You've made that clear." I couldn't control the amount of sarcasm in my tone, and I didn't care anymore.
"Marriage expectations."
The addition of that one word instantly changed my perspective. My mouth went dry as I struggled for something to say. "You mean...?"
"It's long been expected for Jade to marry within the Royal Family. In fact, a match was secured when she was a child. She doesn't speak of it much, but she certainly knows about it."
The queen could have stabbed me directly in the heart and it would have been a less painful shock. My knees buckled under me, but I forced myself to stay upright. The queen expected to win this round with a bombshell. I wasn't giving up so easily.
"You're Jade's toy," the queen said, wiping invisible dust from her sleeve. "And when she tires of you, she'll get a new one. There's nothing you can do to secure your place in this family."
"Has it ever occurred to you that I am not looking for marriage?" I asked, hoping she hadn't caught the break in my voice. "Or a place in this family?"
The queen laughed at this. "Everyone is looking for marriage, whether they know it or not."
No wonder she had such insane ideas about marriage. I turned away from her, as her barb fanned my simmering rage into flames.
Jade filled the doorframe, watching our conversation from the bathroom with controlled interest, but as I neared her, something dark flashed in her eyes, warning me away from her.
"I see that since you couldn't sway me with your threats, you switched tactics."
"We both know how this ends," The queen said, keeping her gaze level with her daughters. "The tart's quite pretty, but you aren't serious about her. Why do more damage to her reputation?"
Her words stripped away all pretense of civility. The queen radiated the same primal power as her daughter, but the Queen's dominance was laced with bitter prejudice and apathetic cruelty. Behind her, the picture of her husband beamed up at her. Had he loved her enough to overlook this? Had he not seen it?
Or had her loss simply turned a charismatic man into a domineering one?
"You know the expectations," The queen continued. "I've given you far too much latitude since you returned, but it's time to accept your role in this family."
"I know," Jade said in a stiff voice.
My mouth gaped open as I tried to process her response. A mask of resignation fell over her features, her eyes turning dark. Their fire had gone out, replaced by something cold, unreadable and hard. Her jaw was set and she looked past me out the window. The awareness that usually accompanied hervpresence fled my body as numbness crept through me.
This women was a stranger to me. I didn't know Jade at all. Despite the shock dulling my senses, this realisation twisted my heart until I couldn't breathe for fear it would snap in two, and I would crumble to pieces with it. The bond I'd felt between us since that night at Brimstone faded in and out of my perception like the signal of a black box lost at sea. It had survived when nothing else had, and even as I searched for it, desperate to find that connection, I felt it slipping away, fading from my grasp under the turbulent waves of anger and sadness crashing through me.
The pressure in my chest increased as tears welled in my eyes. Jade warned me away, knowing that a relationship wasn't possible. She'd known that there were other expectations for her. Jade had told me that she wanted to fuck me. Jade had promised me pleasure, and she'd given me that, but there had always been an expiration date to her offer. Except somewhere along the line, I'd forgotten that, and that's how I'd made the one mistake I couldn't take back. I'd fallen in love with her.
How stupid had I been to think she had fallen with me?
"I should leave you two," The queen said, breaking the silence that stretched across the room. "Good evening."
As she shut the door, my fingers closed over a book on the shelf next to me and I hurled it. It cracked against the door and fell to a heap on the floor. I stared at it, tears rolling down my cheeks. Pages had twisted and bent, the spine split neatly in half from the force of my throw.
Broken.
Misused.
Abandoned.
My knees buckled and I dropped to the floor as well. Jade flinched, but she didn't move. A part of me that I hadn't even known existed the part of me that expected her to take me in her arms and comfort me died. It was all true. I'd ignored all the warnings I'd been given to guard myself against her. I'd even ignored my instinct that she would break me.
And she had.
Jade had done everything they said she would do.
So now there was only one person I could count on. Myself. The agony of her rejection clawed through me, slicing me open and leaving me to bleed out slowly. But I'd been broken before. It was this alone that allowed me to finally gather the strength to push to my feet. I swayed once, catching myself on the bookshelf, but I stood. I stood despite my sorrow and confusion. I stood when all I wanted was to lie back down and waste away.
I stood.
And that alone made me strong enough to give Jade one last piece of myself.
I drew in a jagged breath and stepped before her. She gazed coolly at me, remaining distant and removed, and waited.
I wanted to touch her. I longed to trail my finger across her beautiful jawline or run my hands across her shoulders. I'd never imagined that in this moment I wouldn't be able to that I wouldn't want to touch her.
Trembling with tears as I opened my mouth, I forced her to hear the words she'd tried to run away from. "I love you, Jade."
Her eyes closed, and for one beautiful moment, the distance between us faded. I felt my proclamation wash over her, saw it take hold of her body, watched her shift.
I watched her break for me.
But when she opened her eyes again, the hardness remained. "That wasn't part of our arrangement."
I had expected this reaction, but actually hearing her say it crushed me. A sob wrenched through me, and I fled the room. I wouldn't let her see me cry.
Never again.
The tears fell hard and fast, tremors racking through my body as I staggered to a recess in the wall. Crumpling to the ground, I broke down. I could have been there for minutes or hours or days. Time had ceased. I didn't care if the sun rose again or if the world halted on its axis. Nothing mattered.
I succumbed to darkness as pain pulled me under. I had trusted her, I had given myself to her and she'd destroyed me. Just like she told me she would.
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Hands lifted me from the darkness and cradled me tenderly, but when I opened my eyes, I was still in my nightmare. Luke held me with steady arms, carrying me back toward my room, whispering small words of comfort that did nothing to alleviate the agony ripping me apart.
Forcing myself to speak, my words catching on parched lips, I stopped him. "I need to leave."
"You should rest," he suggested in a gentle voice. "I'll take you to my room if you want."
But I shook my head. "Please. I need to go home."
"I'll make the arrangements," Luke agreed, not arguing further. "Perrie, you don't have to tell me, but what happened?"
"I fell in love with her," I said, my words brittle and unwanted on my parched lips.
Luke didn't speak, but his arms tightened around me. We both understood that sometimes love wasn't enough.
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Hey guys

Yes I updated again so yay! Double update tonight.

The final chapter will hopefully be up sometime this week so get ready because it might be a little bit intense.

Thank you for reading!
See you next update