Be My Princess

Pink Sweater

In honor of hitting 10k, I present to you ~

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*Lavender's PoV*

"Jay, what's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"So much darling, so much." A knot formed in my throat, sadly I knew what he meant. I don't know what he's hiding, but I know firsthand hiding things only causes more trouble in the end.

"Jay, come over to my house okay? Don't hide from me-" I was going to say more but there was a bland beep-beep and my screen illuminated to a bright screen. "Jay?" I asked, although he couldn't hear me.

Call Canceled.

I called back several times but he didn't answer. I yelled into my phone, frustrated and confused. Had I done something? Was it my fault? What did he mean when he said "so much." What happened?

I grabbed my jacket from my closet door that I had hung when I returned from school and was ready to just walk around, ask if anyone had seen a candy apple red antique car around. I didn't know where he lived but I would at least look. I would at least put in a effort to look for him. The last thing someone needs while feeling alone is actually being alone.

I put on my jacket and put my phone in my back pocket of my jeans, also slipping on my flip-flops and was reaching for the front door handle when there was a knock. Three soft knocks left me hazed at the door. I turned the knob and opened the screen door to see him. His familiar black hood was draped over his face but I could tell by his posture it was Jay. His shoulders looked sunken and he was looking down, both of his hands were in the sweatshirt front pocket.

"Jay?" I whispered just to be sure. When his puffy green eyes met mine there was no doubt. "You came," I tried not to smile, it was clear he wasn't in a very good mood, something is really bothering him. He opened his mouth to speak but just stumbled around his words. I opened the door wider, "Get in here, it's cold out." He gave a small nod and stepped through. As he passed me I could smell alcohol.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. "What's wrong Jay?" He looked up at me starring blankly like I asked a life or death question. "Was it me?"

"No." He rushed. "It's not your fault."

"Then who's?"

"Her's." He says looked past me. I looked over my shoulder to see no one there. "You can't see her. I do, I see her everyday."

"Who?"

"Ellie," he paused, looking away from whatever he was looking at then at me.

I chewed on my lip. "Your ex?" He nodded. "You see your ex?" He again nodded. There was too many thoughts to simply pinpoint one to ask him. I went with the newest one. "Do you want to get back with her? It's fine with me if you do just-"

"She's dead. She killed herself last winter around this time in front of me." He clenched his jaws looking down. "Only time I don't see her is when I'm around you. I'm drunk, not drunk enough but," he stopped. "I saw her last night in my dream, that's why I left. I relived it again."

I was still trying to register it all. "Why don't you see her when you're around me?" I swallowed my chest becoming tight. "Is that the only reason you stay around me? To distract yourself from her?" He looked up at me, his big green eyes pouring into mine. He lightly shook his head. The tightness was feeling constricting and I found it hard to breathe. "Is that all I am to you? A distraction?" He shook his head and hugged me tightly.

"No no, Darling I stay around you because you're gorgeous and smart, because you bring out something in me that wants to change. If what I feel now gets any stronger," he paused and pulled away but still stood closely looking into my eyes. Whether he meant to or not, he had my back pressed against the door with me pinned under him. He lifted his hand, running his fingers through my hair, his other hand sliding to my hips. His hands were callused, but his lips were soft. I could taste the alcohol that laced his breath.

"No Jay," I whisper putting my hand on his chest to create some distance. "You're drunk, this isn't right."
He smiled softly backing up nodding.

I smiled, grabbing his hand pulling him upstairs, "I have an idea. We can watch a movie! Cuddling can be involved if you want?" He smiled cupping my cheeks and kissing my forehead.

"Sounds perfect."

*Jay's PoV*

She chose a cartoon movie, we were going to watch some horror flick but soon as she saw the image her face lit up and I couldn't tell her no. I preferably didn't favor the cartoon, the bubbly colors and sugar induced characters.

The night was cold and even in my arms Lavender was shivering. While she was half asleep I laid her carefully under the blankets and went through her closet for a sweater to put over her. I found a cute one that was light pink, I just knew she was going to look adorable in it.

I sat her up carefully, her eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Jay?"

"Shhh darling, I got you a sweater to put on so you won't be so cold." I whispered softly. She nodded and I put it on her. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she yawned, laying back down. I laid down beside her, squeezing her tightly. She sighed contently snuggling closer to me. She would make a perfect little.