Forgetting My First Real Kiss

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Hinila ako ni Lourd hanggang sa makalayo kami nang tuluyan kay Nico. Agad-agad ko ring binawi sa kanya ang braso ko. Anong akala niya? May karapatan pa siyang malaya akong hawakan?

We're not best friends anymore. Our friendship ended when he decided to take advantage of me. The girl who had witnessed her life crumble into pieces, the girl who was so vulnerable that she seeked comfort to her best friend and lastly, the girl who he confessed that he had fallen in love with but left the morning after they had sex.

I was about to walk away from him when he grabbed my arm again.

"Ano ba?! Let go of me!" I yelled at him as I struggled to pull my arm back. Ano na naman ba ha?

He was glaring at me. At siya pa may ganang magalit? "So that's it? Ganun-ganun na lang 'yun?" he asked.

I managed to get away from him but stood my ground. This ends here. He needs to know na wala na siyang babalikang best friend. She's gone.

I planted both hands on my hips. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Anong gusto mo? Pasalamatan kita?" I asked sardonically. He's stupid if he thinks I will thank him!

He ran his hand through his hair. "Christ, Daphne. Pipili ka na lang ng boyfriend, yung gago pa!" he hissed at me.

Lalong uminit yung ulo ko. Anong karapatan niyang kuwestiyunin ang mga desisyon ko? Wala na siyang pakialam kung ano mang katangahan ang gawin ko.

"Apparently, I poor taste in men," I started. My nostrils flaring and my hands balled into fists. "I attract douchebags. I fell in love with a lying piece-of-shit but before that I had a best friend who fucked me up literally and figuratively," I hissed at him.

He closed his eyes then sighed. "Shit. I really did a number on you," he said as if ngayon niya lang na-realize kung gaano kasakit yung ginawa niya sa akin a few years back.

Hindi ako umimik pero ipinagpatuloy ko lang ang pagtingin sa kanya nang masama.

"I came back for you, Daph," he said, his voice low. I managed to hold back my reaction.

He came back for me? Well, that's just too bad.

I straightened my back and looked at him. "Too bad for you, then. I never wanted you back," I said as a parting shot.

But guess what? Hinila niya ulit ako.

"For the love of everything that is right! Can you just let me go?" I growled at him. He surprised me when his arms wrapped around me.

His face went to my neck. I struggled once again to get away from him. "Get your hands off me!" I yelled at him but his hug tightened even more.

"I promised myself that if I see you again, I will never let you go. Not now, Daph. Not ever." His voice was muffled against my neck but I froze as I hear what he said clearly.

Why was he doing this? Why was he back here?

I pushed his chest but he didn't budge. "Let me go!" I punched on his chest several times but he still didn't budge.

"I don't want to. I told you I don't want to let you go anymore!" he shouted against my neck. I don't know why and how but there's a lump on my throat. And it is so fucking hard to swallow it. The dam is threatening to break too.

I stopped pushing him and just stood still. "It's not for you to decide. Wala ng space sa buhay ko para sa'yo. And you will never get back what was yours before," I said as calmly as I can.

His hug loosened and he slowly pulled away from me. "If you could just let me explain, Daph. Maaayos natin to," he said looking straight into my eyes.

"What's there to explain?" I asked, refraining myself to think of the hurtful memories he inflicted.

He held my face with both of his hands. "Everything," he said, his eyes pleading.

I shook my head no. "I don't want to go back there." He pressed his forehead against mine. "You need to know everything."

I shook my head once again. "I'm done with you."

"You need to know the side of my story, Daph," he pleaded.

"No. Just... Just let me go," I said, stuttering. I can't stand this anymore.

Why does it hurt so freaking bad? Why does it hurt more than Nico's betrayal?

"Daph, please." He flat-out pleaded. No. My decision is final. I'm done with everything that happened between us. I'm done with him.

"Stop calling me 'Daph'." I pushed him away from me and he let me. See? Just like that, tapos na siya magmakaawa.

Good. I don't want to see him ever again. I just wish he'll never come back tomorrow or for the next days. Years, even.

***

Pinag-uusapan pa rin ako ng mga tao. Umabot na rin sa mga kaklase kong may mga tinatagong inis pala sa akin. Tuwang-tuwa sila na may bagong pag-uusapan sila bukod sa acads.

I was in the brink of exploding when Nico went inside the classroom. Everyone went silent. Inaabangan nila kung sino ang mauunang magsasalita sa amin.

Lumapit sa harapan ko si Nico. "Can we talk?" tanong niya sa akin.

"Ayoko." Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, daring him to defy me.

I saw him clenched his jaw. "We really need to talk in private, Daphne."

I scoffed at him. Really? He's demanding me talk to him in private?

"Why don't we talk here?" I challenged him before dishing him an insult. "Tutal naman, lahat ng pinag-uusapan natin ipinagkakalat mo," I said to him with a sweet smile.

"Daphne, please. Let's talk outside," he said, gritting his teeth.

I chuckled just to rile him even more. "Why? Para hindi nila marinig yung side ko?" Lumingon ako sa mga kaklase ko na pinag titsismisan ako. "Para hindi nila malaman na lahat ng pinakalat mo tungkol sa akin ay puro kasinungalingan lang?"

Hindi nakasagot si Nico.

"I only have one thing to say to you, Nico," I started. "Ang kapal ng mukha mo."

Iniwan ko siya sa loob ng classroom namin. Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko ay sumalubong sa akin si Lourd. Iiwasan ko sana siya nang bigla siyang ngumiti.

Napatigil ako.

"What you did to him was epic," he said, chuckling.

"Get out of my face," I said to him.

He didn't listen. He just shook his head and continued smiling at me.

"Sorry. Can't help it." He shrugged. "Can't seem to stop myself, Daphne. I'm still drawn to you."