Life choices (Remus Lupin Marauders era)

Chapter 27

Part of me is really starting to regret inviting Lily. I really do love her, it's just that almost all she's done whilst here is to talk to the boys in secret and squeal about how beautiful mine and Remus's children will be.

I'm in hell.

On the up side, all the time she's spending with James seems to be pushing them closer together. I told her she'd fall for him, or if I didn't tell her I was definitely thinking it.

They're all going tomorrow and then we have a week until Christmas. I'll finally get some peace from all their plans for my future.

Gideon and Fabian finally manage to drag me outside to play quidditch in the frosty air. According to them, I'm the best to play chaser because I'm able to move quickly and avoid anything that comes my way. If only they knew the extent of how I came by those skills.

Once I've scored my 40th point, we take a break and grab some hot chocolate that mum left out for us on the garden table. I sit at one of the wooden chairs and slowly sip my drink, listening in to everyone's conversations and trying to stay out of any of their talks.

"So, where'd you learn to play like that?"

It takes me a moment before I realise that it's Sirius talking to me. I turn to him and take out my wand.

The twins have had me playing since I was tiny. I explain. I've grown up playing as a chaser.

"Why don't you try out for the Gryffindor team?" He suggests. "Hartfords leaving at the end of the year and we could do with some fresh talent."

I give him a look, silently asking, mentally hoping, that he's joking. But when he continues to hold his questioning gaze on my eyes, I sigh and start writing again.

All of you, excluding Peter, are in the team. James is seeker, Remus is the keeper and you're a chaser. You gave Fabian and Gideon enough trouble as it is, even though they only tried out for the role of beaters. Why do you think they didn't get it?  You hate me more than you hate them, so how would you've treated me if I got in? And how could I communicate to anyone? I list a load of reasons that have struck me before, but I'd never told anyone about them, I didn't want to create any form of an argument. You may not want to believe it, but you've held me back from doing what I love. And I don't care if I sound mean because you can't be horrid to me now. Not in my own home.

Tears blur the edges of my vision as I make my chair fall over as I forcibly stand up. I practically run up to my room and sit next to the window, just out of sight of them all but still I'm able to watch them. They all seem to just sit there in shock at my outburst. It only takes a moment before I see Fabian and Gideon round on Sirius.

I have a tinge of regret at my outburst, I shouldn't have lashed out at them like that. I really hope that they aren't too hard on them, I've just been harbouring a lot of feelings that were suddenly let loose. Yeah, that must be it. It's not their fault.

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Sirius's POV

I watch after Imogen as she runs up to her room. I'm not sure which window is hers but I follow the others eye line up to the top window. It has different plant pots collected on the window sill and curtains slightly cover the edges and prevent anyone from getting a closer look inside.

Gideon and Fabian suddenly appear in front of us and I look up at them. I know how far they go to help and protect their sister, so what lengths will they go to calling out her attackers.

To my surprise they just look sad. As if they've just lost hope on being angry at us anymore.

"I hope you're happy with yourselves." Fabian sighs. "I really hope that you've achieved all that you've wanted to achieve in making her life miserable."

Lily disappears inside, not before sending a very angry and upset glare at James who looks pleadingly up at her.

"We thought you could get past all this. It's been years since you've started, can't you just give her a break. You single her out over anyone in the whole year, even the bloody slytherins."

No anger seems to reach his voice. Only sadness and exasperation.

I think about what it'd be like to have a family like this, one who stood up for you, always, even if you argued and made a nuisance of yourself. I wonder what it's like to have a real family. One that cares for your welfare and isn't afraid to be seen with you. Of course I've got James and his family, but it's just not the same.

"You know she's changed. You know she has problems. Do you think that she chooses to be that way? She doesn't. And yet you still make it hell for her." He hesitates on his little rant, still surprisingly able to remain calm. "Why can't you just stop?"

They walk off, heading into the shadows of their house. I turn to James who looks fearfully down at his hands. He looks up at me and grimaces.

"Lily is going to kill me."

Something twigs inside of me and I turn to him in frustration.

"Is that all you care about at the moment? Do you actually realise what's happened? We've ruined her time at Hogwarts! Something that we take for granted and absolutely love. Just think about it for a minute. Forget about you and Lily, just think about her." I sigh. "You said that you were really close, how would ten year old James respond to you now, hurting one of his best friends."

He nods in understanding and regret, he frowns unhappily and bites his lip in thought. "So what can we actually do?"

I shrug. "I don't know, try to rectify our mistakes or something, do something to make the rest of her time at Hogwarts great."

"Ok, who else do we know that's deeply effected by something, can sympathise with troubles, is a great listener, is very understanding, and also we've been thinking about pairing them up together for a while." He says. "This can be a way to redeem ourselves."

"By matching her up with Moony?"

"Yeah! They both find true love and everything is ok. I think it's a great idea."

"Of course you do, that's because it's your idea."

"Hey! It's a good idea." He defends. "Come on, they can confide in each other. Moony likes her but doesn't trust himself, this can be a great chance for them to both open up about their problems and find love!"

"I think you're blowing this out of proportion."

He doesn't seem to listen to me and instead just smiles to himself, plotting some crazy scheme for the two. I just pray that this won't end in more heartache.

---

Hello, sorry it's a bit late, but ohhhhhh, Sirius is getting regretful and slightly protective, what do you all think is going to happen next?

this goes for @CRAZY4EATON for making my day with the comments and votes.

P.s. I've got 1k reads on the front!!!! Even though it's only 81 read on the first chapter I'm still hopeful and positive about it all.

QOTD: what fandoms are you in?

Me, I'm in Harry Potter, divergent, maze runner, hunger games, OUAT, TWD, Sherlock, Marvel and a load of others I can't quite bring to mind right now.

Wishing everyone love, sunshine and luck these summer holidays

~ Molly xxx