Fear

Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

  “Why won’t you listen to me?!” I jerked my head up to find myself back in the room just as Nickel had wanted. Aiden had his fingers through his hair and his back toward me.

“I can hear you.” I said through my tears and hyperventilating. I was sitting on the mattress but I had been pretty sure I started out of the cold floor. Aiden turned around and without a word came over to me and but his arms around my shoulders. He didn’t hesitate or tense up when I leaned my tear soaked face on his collar bone. “I’m sorry.” I kept repeating like a mad man. I knew he didn’t know what I meant but he didn’t ask.

 As I lay in his arms I rediscovered how much I did love him. I had felt awful for ever believing that something so strong could be controlled by someone else. “It’s ok.” He said and smoothed my hair down the back of my neck. “But I’d like to know why you’re so sorry.”

“I found out that one of Pain had been holding my heart and he was the reason I was so in love with you.” The words rolled off my tongue before I could reach out and hold them back. I pushed myself out of his arms and felt my face fade blood red. “I’m sorry I really didn’t mean to say that.”

“So you do or don’t actually love me?” He asked and I didn’t fully know how to answer the question in front of him at that point. I wanted to say something but only air came out of my month. “Ok I understand too much information already.” I mouthed the words thank you unable to speak out loud anymore.

  We sat silently for a long time. I didn’t look his way because I was too embarrassed but I could feel him staring at me. I went to look over at him to make sure I was right and for only a few seconds looked into his wide green eyes. I didn’t know what he was seeing but all I could see was how his eyes were still shining. I didn’t understand how someone could be so hopeful in a room so dark. But he still was and he had been from the moment I meet him.

  “You’re staring.” I said but soon felt stupid realising I was to.

  “Yeah sorry.” He pointed out and his eyes didn’t leave my face. I had to blink the sunlight out of my vision that reflected from his eyes. I remembered the room didn’t have any windows and realised we weren’t on the bed any more but sitting on a train. There were people in businesses suits and families sitting in the seats all around us.

“Look.” I said and pushed Aiden out of the trace he was in. I looked out of the big glass window beside me to see a scene that didn’t fit with the time modern time period the passengers were in. Civil war soldiers ran across open fields in clusters of battles. The train speed down the tracks so fast I couldn’t make out the landscape of witch state its tracks cut through. The train began to slow and soon halted beside a camp site.

 I could hear a voice call over the intercom above my head but I couldn’t make out what the voice was saying. The passengers began to pile out of the train and as they took the step out of the steel locomotive they melted into union soldiers to fit with their surroundings. “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” I said as Aiden stared at the act going on around us.

“Oh my god.” Aiden’s eyes widened and the train melted back into the room around us. Aiden just sat and his whole body started vibrating.

“What’s wrong?” I asked and slid closer to him so my leg was up against his. “Did I say something?”

“No you didn’t.” He said and he’s wide green eyes locked onto mine again. “I remembered where their keeping my soul.”

“Wow that’s big.” I said lost unable to say anything else. “But how, we didn’t even finish with the magic page?” I asked and pulled the page out of my jean pocket. When it was unfolded it I laid it out flat on my lap. There was a picture of a train in front of the emerald city. We watched as the quote for the wizard of Oz I had used only a few second ago bleed into the empty space above the city.

“Kansas City.” Aiden said. “I never would have figured it out either if you hadn’t used that stupid sarcastic comment.”

“Kansas City’s a big place Aiden, it could take years to find even the building they‘ve locked you in.” I stated but he just shook his head in denial.

“It’s a train station that’s why we were in the train.” He began to hyperventilate. “And the landscape outside the train we were in with all the union soldiers….”

“Union station.” I whispered cutting off his big speech he had just planned. “I know there’s one in Washington, is there one in Kansas to?”

“I’m sure of it.” Aiden began to tap his foot on the floor raising the dust from the ground level. “I can remember how I felt when I walked into the halls; I remembered every gory detail of my entire life.”

“Ok so when I wake up, I’ll tell Hayden and Coal about all this and….” I didn’t know what to say. The feeling was both reliving and overwhelming. I tried to stay calm down but every scary possibility came folding over me.

 “You’re thinking about it to, aren’t you?” Aiden said quietly. “If you do manage to get me out will I ever even see you again? I’m dead aren’t I, just a soul in a box. I’ll probably just go to where every other dead soul goes.”

“I don’t want that to be true.” I whispered trying to hold back my emotions. He stood up and held his hand out to me. I laced my fingers in his and he just stood in front of me rubbing the back of hand.

“It wouldn’t matter if I ever got to breathe fresh air again anyway.” He said.

“I thought you wanted to see stars again though.” I questioned his calm expression. “Why throw that dream away.”

“I’ve already found my star.” He said and looked at me as if he was taking in my image for the last time. “I love you even if you don’t love me and I rather die without an answer about how you really feel then live with a no.”

“Aiden I….” I wanted to say something but once again I didn’t know what words could have explained how I felt. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” He smiled. “I know how sappy that sounded, I just couldn’t think of anything else.”

 Before I could answer him the white light engulfed me. I felt his hand leave mine as I slipped out of the dusty room.

 When I woke up I lied across the couch with my eyes closed listening to Hayden hum songs from three days grace for a long time. I was scared that if I opened my eyes I’d just start to cry. I had a dark feeling that that was the last time I’d ever see Aiden. I was afraid I’d fail and Pain would end up killing him anyway.

“Coal!” Hayden called out and I had to refrain from jolting up awake. “The case we’re looking into is a bust.”

“How did you figure that out?” I heard Coal’s voice coming from behind the bathroom door. His voice was muffled and it sound like he had his tooth brush in his mouth.

“It’s on the front of the new paper.” Hayden said. “They caught the pastor of a small local church trying to kill a group of old people because they were sinners.”

“Some people are just freaking insane.” Coal said and I heard the bathroom door click behind him. “So what are we going to do now?” I finally opened my eyes and sucked in all my fears. Ready to face the battle in front of me.