Ashes (Sequel to Windows To The Soul)

Fifteen.

I was feeling sick again, I forgot about how sick I was when Harry was here.

I growled frustrated, picked up my guitar and my notebook, and even though my eyes burnt and my head was killing me, I started writing.

Writing songs was the only way I had to figure myself out, and to let everything I had in my head out.

Our love was destined to end, and I was the one who was going to suffer the most.

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street.

He was so difficult, and he gave me no clues to try and figure him out, but I tried until I realized there was no possible way to figure him out.

Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer.

But I still felt something for him, after a year, after everything he’s put me through. I wish I could move on, I wish I could forget him.

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes.

Tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go.

But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head.

“I hate feelings…” I groaned to myself.

I huffed and decided to take a rest, Sel didn’t come back so I texted her asking her where she was and a few minutes after I sent it, she texted me back saying that she was with Zayn, she would spend the rest of the weekend at his place.

I’d be alone the whole weekend, party time! I removed what was left of my ruined make-up from last night; I got myself in sweatpants and fluffy socks and went to bed.

I don’t know if I fell asleep or if I was awake, but after what seemed to be hours under the thick sheets a loud knock on my door startled me.

I got up from the bed and walked up to the door, I opened it but no one was there, the corridors were completely empty. When I was about to close the door, thinking it’d have been some stupid pretending to be funny, I looked down and found a paper on the floor. I picked it up and closed the door.

I sat down cross-legged on my bed and started reading what was written on the paper. The words where shaky, I had a hard time trying to understand what the note said.

How does it feel to know that you’ve sent Louis to the hospital? You have destroyed him, you chose that so-called bad guy over someone who loves you…to death.

Let me advice you: Play with fire and you will get burnt, Swift.

I took my hand up to my mouth, covering it.

What did Louis do? I started freaking out, but I reminded myself that I had to calm down.  I had to go see him, but I didn’t know in what hospital he was.

I slid the note to my pocket, grabbed a coat and ran out of the dorm. I didn’t have my phone with me, and Selena was going to spend the weekend with Zayn. The best idea was look for Niall and ask him if he could help me.

I ran as fast as I could to his dorm and bumped into a boy.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry. Uh, do you know where’s Niall Horan’s room?” I asked him.

“Yeah, it’s that one.” The brown eyed boy answered, pointing at a door.

“Thank you.”

I ran to his door and started knocking on it rapidly.