Alpha Brothers - the Lonely Brother (book 3)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8
Malcolm
I was in my old room though my focus was far from that.
Bonnie's hot body, lied beneath me, moaning as I kissed her neck. I was careful to not bite her, knowing how she freaked when I did. My lips kissed their way to her collarbone as my hands cupped the backs of her thighs to spread her legs. She jumped under my grip.
"Malcolm," she groaned, "your bein' rough."
I frowned and let go of her, "I'm bein' gentle."
"Well, be gentler."
I sighed, but nodded, covering her neck with my mouth, waiting till she gave me the sign to continue.
My mind started to wonder like it normally did before I felt the tables turn and the mattress was now at my back.
Bonnie kissed my neck, rough and hard. My mind was too shocked by this sudden change that I didn't even register the different feel of her body and how her shoulder length hair had now tripled in length.
"You don't have to be gentle," Tarna's voice whispered in my ear.
I took the command and went crazy with it. I sat up, bringing Tarna with me. Cupping the backs of her thighs, I yanked her to my pelvis. She groaned but she didn't stop me. Her hands cupped my nape, keeping my mouth where it covered hers. Starting to thrust, I forced myself into her expecting a slap or two but it never came.
"Oh God, yes!" She screamed, "Malcolm!"
Malcolm!
Sleep was ripped from me, forcing my eyes to open. I jumped, and sat up, trying to contain my scrambling thoughts.
I was no longer in my old room and still alone like I was when I fell asleep. Dreams about Bonnie were a common occurrence but dreaming about another woman wasn't. Well, not just any woman, Tarna. I didn't know if that made me happy or pissed me off. Not only was my wolf trying to break my vow but so were my dreams. But it was kind of an eye opener.
I had forgotten what sex was like between Bonnie and me. She was very controlling on what I did and how I did it. There were days where she wouldn't let me even kiss her. Hector had ruined her for every man she would forever be with. And I took her from everything. As much as I hated Hector, I had never been able to blame him completely for Bonnie's death. And now my guilt was growing.
I took the life of an innocence woman. I wasn't allowed to be happy.
I groaned again, remembering what had happened last night. I had watched my brothers and their mates, trying to determine what I was going to do about Tarna. It hadn't gotten me anywhere.
Standing, I realized that I needed to sort this out. I couldn't live with a muddled brain and mixed emotions.
I could have taken the passage ways but instead I headed to the corridor. The change in scenery changed dramatically. It was no longer, dark, dusty and gloomy. Instead, was dripping in light. I walked along the gallery, watching the wolves down below. Among them, were my younger siblings. They were all busting on each other, trying to get a raise out of them. I bit my lip, trying not to say anything like fight outside or don't break the furniture. But it was best if Allie and Graham didn't notice me. Out of all my siblings, they were the ones that didn't care if I was around or not. A part of me even thought that they would love me more if I disappeared forever.
When I got to the library, I didn't even think twice about going through or blinking when I spotted Archie and Amy kissing on the lounge. I was on a mission.
Walking straight over to the bookcases, I picked out the first book I saw and opened it to a random page.
"What do you think he's doing?" Amy whispered behind me.
"Who knows," Archie answered.
"Archie," she said a little louder, "We can't do this now. Not with him here."
"Well let's just pretend that he's not here."
"I really wish that you wouldn't," I said, loudly, reminding them that I had ears and I was alive, though I didn't looked up from the book that I was reading.
When I knew that it wasn't what I was looking for, I placed it back and took another one.
"What are you looking for?" Amy asked, over Archie's scoffing.
"A book," I told her.
"Want to elaborate more, Brother?" Archie asked.
Once again, I made the quick decision not to let on that I was looking for a book to help me with my little wolf problem.
"A really big, old book," I told him, placing the book back and taking another one.
"You could be here for hours then," Amy stated.
I nodded, "Aye. So you rabbits better hop off to another burrow if you want to continue whatever you were doin' before."
"Why, we were here first?" she asked.
"Because the books are here," I reminded her, gesturing to all the walls with the bookcases and the books on them, "You two can go shag in any other room of the house."
"We can, but doesn't mean we have to."
I smiled before looking back to the book. I did like Amy. She was very good for Archie.
"Come on, Princess," Archie groaned, standing and taking her hands, "Do you need any help, Malcolm?"
I shook my head. I felt my stomach drop when I said no to him. I had been through hell trying to mend the gap that I had made between us and now I felt like I was causing that gap to grow. But I couldn't bring him into this until I could sort it out for myself.
"Nope," I told him, "You two go have fun."
He nodded, leading Amy out of the library. I was grateful for his consideration, I really was. I wasn't in the state of mind for fighting or arguing.
My third book was the first one that had something on mates. It wasn't much but it was something.
It read:
A wolf may find his mate at any time in his life. At first, his wolf will go crazy, trying to claim his mate. His mate will share a bond that can never be broken.

I placed it down and took another one.

The mate mark, binds the two minds of wolves. It creates a door that links the two minds. This allows the two mates to enter their minds and hear each other's thoughts and memories.

It was all on things that I already knew and experienced. I placed it down with the other one and picked up my fifth book.

A mate is another's wolf's partner. After claiming one's mate, it is forever linked to that person and can never take another.

Then how could I?
Does this mean that I would never get Tarna out of my head? That I will continue to think about her, continue to dream about her until I had claimed her. And once I had, she was forever mine.
So many people would give up their left arm to claim their mate or even someone that they could at least love enough to claim. I have now found two women that fit those categories and I didn't want either of them. I didn't want the memories of Bonnie's and mine's relationship tainted even if they were fake. And I didn't want Tarna, knowing that if I claimed her or even got close to her, I would be tainting her. I wasn't a good person. In fact, I would be going to hell for all the things that I had done. Tarna didn't need another wolf turning her body into a bloody canvas. She didn't need her mate, ripping her body to shreds.

Tarna
"Son of a bitch," I growled as I tried to cut the thread with a blunt knife.
I should have taken up Malcolm's offer to stay but he was too confused to do anything and I didn't want that confusion rubbing off on me. Like I had told him, I was simple. I go by my gut. If it told me to jump, I jumped. It made life easier that way. What was the point in making life difficult? I guess I had spent too much time in my wolf body that it was starting to affect my human thinking. But it made sense, didn't it?
I grunted, trying to cut through my second last slash. I was going to kill that sick son of a bitch the next time I saw him. See if he likes it when someone turns his body into shredded paper.
Once every single last thread was out of my body, my body healed and it looked normal. Not even a scar to remember it by.
I sighed and flopped back on the mattress.
It barely took me five seconds for my mind to go straight to Malcolm. He had touched me so gently and when he had hurt me, he instantly felt sorry for it. I wanted to say it was just me being his mate and that every time he hurt me, it hurt him too. But it was something more than that. Like someone had drilled it into his head to always be gentle. Or maybe perhaps it's because his wolf was so out of control that he felt so guilty when he did. It made his character so interesting though.
I had never met anyone like him. He was confusing, arrogant, a smartarse and even from times a little scared puppy that hid behind his strong and proud name and position in the pack. Well, was position. I knew that he was the beta when the old king and queen died until something happened. And that something caused him to disown his wolf. Now the third son was beta. But Malcolm's wolf was back. I brought it out in him. Maybe I could do more for him. Maybe I could teach him to even control his wolf.