Alpha Brothers - the Lonely Brother (book 3)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20
Tarna
Light shined from the lamps as I walked around, peering at all the little things, well aware of Malcolm's eyes watching me as I did. I had never felt so free wearing clothes. Granted it was one of Malcolm's shirts, but I think it still counted.
Malcolm's room was just filled of little nick knacks. Things I would have thought was stupid and thrown them away as soon as I found them. That was why I only had a box of belongs that was now in the corner of the room, waiting to take their places amongst Malcolm's things.
First I searched his closest. I hummed as I did, looking upon five pairs of jeans and nice dress shirts that I couldn't picture him wearing. The clothes were all sorted in order. Jeans starting from the left, then dress pants, dress shirts, jackets, jumpers. I smiled at that. Looks like my mate is OCD. But I already knew that.
Walking past the bathroom door, I made a mental note to go have a look in there after I was done.
I stopped at his dresser. Like his closet, it was perfectly organised with nothing out of place. Two photo frames sat in the middle. The first one was of Malcolm and his siblings. The picture could have been taken almost five years ago. They all looked so young. The twins were teenagers, probably around thirteen with pimples over their cheeks. Archie's hair was short unlike it was today though he still sported his crooked grin. Callum looked most the same than anyone. He didn't have his stubbles but there wasn't any more change. I smiled and titled my head at the Malcolm in the photo. Even through the camera lanes, I could see a light in his eyes that wasn't there today. He didn't have stubbles like Callum, and his hair was short. But he was still my mate.
I looked to the second photo. It was of two faces I had only seen in a memory. Malcolm's memory. The woman was an older version of Allie with her blonde hair and pale blue eyes. Her face was round with soft cheek bones and jawline. Her bright smile didn't match the one in the memory only adding to my understanding of how frightened she was to lose her husband. My eyes flicked to the male in the picture. He looked so much like Callum that I had to blink twice just to be sure. He didn't share the pale blue eyes, instead wore a rich brown. But everything else said Callum. Stubbles, cheekbones, jawline, hair, calming and welcoming smile, bright living eyes. My heart ached when my brain finally clicked and I realized that I was looking at Malcolm's dead parents. After all this time, he still had a photo of them.
Without any control, my mind started to wonder why there wasn't any photos of Bonnie. It wasn't even in a jealous way. I was just curious to why, Malcolm would have photos of his family and not of his so-called mate.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked, turning to Malcolm on the bed.
He narrowed his eyes, cautious of my question, "Okay."
"Why aren't there any photos of Bonnie? And this is totally in a not-a-jealous-mate type way?"
He smiled at that, "Of course not."
He sighed, "Bonnie wasn't...she didn't like doin' a lot of stuff."
"Like sex?" I asked before I could stop myself.
He nodded, swallowing, "She didn't like to trust people so that had her on the outs with my family. She didn't like to take photos, general touchin' was off limits on some days."
"Sounds like she was a very controllin' person," I said already knowing the answer.
He dropped his head, going back to that time before I even realized.
Before I could stop myself, I asked, "Is that because Bonnie had a thin' with Hector Macangus?"
Malcolm's had shot up, stunned. He frowned and mouth dropped slightly.
"You really are a smart little wolf," he stated, amazed.
I smiled, proud and shrugged before he continued, "Hector was Bonnie's mate. She didn't tell me at the time, probably because she knew that I would kill him if I did know. But, he use to abuse her, probably even more than that. The day I found her, her clothes were ripped so who knows what had happened. But she was completely closed up and wouldn't let anyone in. Even me, sometimes."
I frowned, "Then, why did you mark her if she was so broken."
"Because I was just as broken," he said as I sat down on the edge of the bed, "I was dealin' with the loss of my parents, the title of beta though I wasn't very good at that. Archie had that job long before he even knew. The twins were at each other's throats and I was back to the start, tryin' to control my wolf. And if you haven't noticed, Tarna, I'm not very good at it," I couldn't help but giggle, "And there she was. Someone that was even more messed up than I was. I guess I just wanted somethin' to fix so that I didn't have to fix all the crap in my life."
I nodded, accepting his answer. It made more sense now. A part of me always wondered why he would stay with someone like her let only mark her and claim her as his mate. When he so clearly had someone perfect waiting for him. Come on Tarna my inner self groaned, the lass had a sick son of a bitch for a mate. You should consider yourself lucky. And I did. Every single day from now on.
Not wanting to say on the 'Bonnie' topic, I asked pointing to the book filled desk, "So why so many books?"
He chuckled, "It was another way of calmin' down whenever I got frustrated. I should probably thank Allie for that."
"She brought you your first book right?" I asked, already knowing the answer as I stood and looked at the books.
Not all were about wolves. There was a story book – probably Allie's, a few novels, even Shakespeare.
"Aye, it was durin' my first year also the time where my wolf was at its worse. But back then, it was only small, so the damage wasn't as bad."
"As appose to now, when you can tear bigger thin's apart?" I asked, picking up a book and pretending to read the back of it.
I swallowed when all the letters became jumbled and it was like I was looking at a different language. Quickly placing it back, I prayed that Malcolm hadn't noticed.
"How can you do that?" he asked, with wondering eyes.
My heart quickly raced, hoping that he didn't mean what I thought he meant.
"Do what?" I asked, acting dumb.
"Act like endin' lives means nothin' to you?"
I sighed, relieved that he didn't pick up on my little panic before sitting down on the bed again.
I shrugged, "Because it doesn't. We don't live in a perfect world. Sometimes, people have to die."
"But so many –."
"How many people in your life have died?" I asked, making his face turn cold, "In your family and in your pack?"
When he didn't answer, I added, "See, it's just part of the circle of life. Our wolves give us the power to live longer lives but that doesn't mean we always live to the expiration date."
He frowned at my little explanation, almost just as stunned as he was before.
"I've never...nobody's..." I frowned, watching his grin spread across his face, "are you always goin' to make me rethink everythin' I've been taught?"
I giggled, shaking my head, "it's what I live for."
I continued to giggled, before I felt Malcolm take my cheek and kiss my lips.
"Lie down," he growled against my lips.
I swallowed at his order but shuffled back before lying down. I was ready to embrace his touch, but it never came.
"Huh," he said.
I frowned, sitting up on my elbows to look at him, staring at my ankle.
"What?" I asked, annoyed that out of any part of my body, he was touching my ankle.
"Have you always had this mark?" He asked me.
Titling my leg, I spied my light brown birth mark. I nodded, looking at its odd shape.
Malcolm seemed so interested in it, that I had to ask, "Why are you lookin' at it?"
"I think I've seen this shape before...I don't remember where," he said frowning.
I shrugged, "it's just a birth mark. A real deformed one at that."
"You really don't see it?"
His question confused me so all I could do was shrug.
"It's an eagle."
I frowned, sitting up, "what?"
Bending my leg awkwardly, I spied the birth mark. I tried to see the eagle, but all I saw was its usual odd shape.
"See, they're its wings," he said, tracing the birth mark, "it's body, little head and beak."
"Mmm," I said.
I guess I saw it. But I had only seen the strange shape that it was hard to see it as anything else.
"You still don't see it, do you?" He asked.
"No, I see it," I told him, "I'm still goin' with odd shape."
He chuckled before kissing me. I felt myself being lowered and welcome the feel of the mattress.
"Now," he growled, "where were we?"
"You mean, after you got distracted," I corrected.
"I promise that I'll never get distracted again," he vowed kissing my lips.
He stole my breath before moving them to my neck. Goosebumps rose as I felt his breath at the back of my ear as he pinched the skin between his teeth.
"How would you feel?" He stated, "If I got you a phone."
I frowned, looking up at him, "what did you just promise?"
"I'm not exactly distracted," he stated, though I didn't believe him, "I'm thinkin' about you," when he saw that I was still unconvinced, he explained, "Faol Coillie, isn't the forest. Sometimes you need more than just growls to communicate."
I shrugged, "I've never had a phone before."
"Well, lucky for you. I have six family members that lives revolve around them."
I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"And clothes?" He asked.
"I don't really feel like wearin' them," I admitted making his smirk grow.
"No, I meant how do you feel about me buyin' some for you? No offence, but your small box of clothes aren't goin' to cut it around here," he said before returning to my neck.
"I'll have you know that, that box and I go way back," I told him, trying to force a stern face.
"I'm sorry," he said, returning to my view, "it's just not goin' to cut it here in the Patterson household."
"Well, I'm not a Patterson," I reminded him, "I'm a rogue, remember?"
"You're a Patterson," he growled against my skin, "Or must I remind you?"
"Oh God, please remind me," I begged, arching my back just to complete the lock of arms we had gotten ourselves into.
He entered me with one big thrash causing me to cry out to anyone that could hear me.
"Malcolm!" I cried as he continued to thrash.
The air in my lungs escaped and caught in my throat making everything inside of me tighten.
"Mal –!" I ended with a groan, clawing at his back to cause him as much pain and pleasure as he caused me.
"Little Wolf," he growled against my neck, nibbing at my earlobe.
My hands clawed their way down his back to his bare arse, digging my claws in deep. He instantly let go of my ear with a deep growl, giving me the hard thrash I needed to send both over the edge.
Malcolm rolled off me, out of breath as much as I was. It took me a couple of minutes just to remember how to use words again. My arm felt so heavy that when I tried to lift it to move my hair out of my face, I slapped myself in the face. When I heard Malcolm chuckle at me, all I could do was giggle along with him.
"Exhausted are you Little Wolf?" he mocked.
I giggled, "Well, after that, I think bein' a Patterson is forever implanted in my mind."
"Well," he started, rolling on to his side to look down at me, "If you ever need remindin', I wouldn't mind."
"Neither would I, come to think of it," I said, matching his smirk.
He kissed my lips, reminding me of the gentle Malcolm that he could be sometimes.
"I love you Little Wolf," he told me, his eyes turning the burning gold making my heart skip a beat at the sight.
"I love you to Malcolm. And don't you ever forget it."
"Even if I show you my darkest sides. I can't promise that it won't come back," he admitted, his eyes filling with fear.
"I never thought you had to," I told him, tucking his hair behind his ear only for it to pop out again, "I don't believe it's there."
"It's there Tarna, I know it is. The only light inside of me, is the part of you that is inside of me."
"There's more light inside of you than that, Malcolm," I told him, "Maybe not as much as there was, but it's there. I can see it, feel it, sense it."
"Then that makes one of us."
"Well, one of these days, I'm goin' to convince you. I give you my word that I will."
He smiled, kissing my lips once again.