Alpha Brothers - the Lonely Brother (book 3)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27
Malcolm
I lied in bed, reading one of Tarna's pregnancy books. I figured that I should learn some stuff too. I had no idea that women's feet and heart increase their size as well as their bellies. Their sense of smell gets stronger, though Tarna was a werewolf so her sense of smell was already strong. And, pregnancy changes the shape of women's breasts too. So many things to look forward too.
Tarna was in the shower, trying to feel more like herself again. With her belly growing, she was finding it difficult to stay comfortable. She had started wearing my shirts and tights to fit her thirteen week pouch.
Placing my book down, I stumbled off the bed. I frowned when I had a sudden ache in the pit of my stomach. I missed her. How did I get so needed? I don't remember being this bad with Bonnie. Maybe because I had trained myself never to be so clingy towards Bonnie because there were days where she couldn't stand the sight of me. Or maybe because Tarna was my mate and Bonnie was not.
Turning, I spied the small little blanket that was nicely folded on the bed stool. It was Tarna's baby blanket. Its white knitted pattern was so soft with a blue ribbon that waved through the edge of it. Bringing it up to my nose, I smelt the familiar scent of my mate.
I could almost kill her birth parents for abandoning her like a runt of the litter.
My parents, from the day we were born had drilled the lesson that we must never abandon each other. We look after each other and we protect each other. And no matter how much my siblings argued with each other, that lesson had never left our heads in the darkest times.
So the very idea of my mate, being abandoned in the forest was a thought that was harder to swallow than my own vomit. So many things had gone wrong for her because of them.
She never knew that she was a werewolf. Probably always felt different. And when she finally did shift, her adoptive kicked her out. So she must have always felt like a piece of old rubbish.
I swallowed remembering my own mistakes in that regard. Even I had wanted to abandon her at one point.
Shaking away the thoughts, I climbed back into the bed and picked up the book.
I looked up when I heard the bathroom door open and Tarna come through, wrapped in a flowery robe and her hair hanging over her shoulders. I watched her with a growing smile as she straggled to tame it. She tried three times to tire it up, looking in the mirror but couldn't.
"Here," I chuckled, placing the book down and clawing to the edge of the bed as Tarna sat down.
"What are you readin'?" she asked as I split her hair into three groups.
"What to expect when you expectin'," I answered, chuckling.
"But you're not expectin'."
"I am too," I said defensive, "This is my baby too remember."
She nodded as I continued to plat her hair.
"I think those cookies gave me heartburn," she told me making me laugh.
"It's one of the side effects."
"How do you know more about pregnancy than I do?" she asked, "I mean, everyone seems to know more about havin' babies and their not the ones that's havin' one."
"Read the books," I told her, "That's why I bought them."
She was silent, biting her lip. I didn't really think much about it and continued my plat. My eyes landed on her earlobe finding the white piece of her irresistible. Before I could stop myself, I learnt over and took the soft skin between my lips. Tarna's hissed and fell back against me causing me to nibble on the hot lobe.
"Malcolm," she groaned, making my grip tighten around her, "Stop."
I frowned. But she loved this.
Letting go of her earlobe and her, I sat back.
"Why?" I asked, "Have you gone off me?"
She frowned, "What, no of course not."
"Then why can't I kiss you?" I asked, trying to pretend that I wasn't offended, though I was failin'.
"Well, m-my body's been changin' and –."
"And what? You think that I won't like it?" I asked.
"Well," she paused, "Kind of."
I opened my mouth to argue with her when she stood and walked over to the dresser. Did she honestly think that? How did I not know this? No, better question, how could she possibly think that I would hate her body?
Climbing off the bed, I took slow strides to her. I heard her take in a quick breath knowing that I was behind her. My eyes landed on her shaking hands, causing me to frown. She was nervous. My Little confident Wolf is confident no more.
"Why are you nervous?" I whispered against her ear.
My fingertip brushed the edge of her earlobe before they danced upon her neck and tucked under the collar of her robe. Pulling it off her shoulder, it stayed around her waist.
"Since when is My Little Wolf shy?" I asked, my fingers returning to her earlobe.
"When she feels like a whale."
I couldn't help but snicker. Even after all these weeks, she was still able to surprise me.
"You don't look like a whale," I told her.
"Oh, what do I look like then?" she said turning around before pulling the robe back on her shoulders.
I shrugged, "You look like a pregnant woman. Still just as beautiful as the day I first saw you."
"You have to say that, I was naked."
"I was only focused on your eyes, I swear," I lied.
She scoffed, seeing through it, "Malcolm, I was there. And you're a horrible liar."
I frowned, "I always thought I was really good."
"Well, you're not. Not to me anyway."
I shrugged. It was probably true.
"Well, I don't need to lie to you," I said, cupping her hips and pulling her to me, "I promise that I won't."
"Always the truth?" she asked.
I nodded, "Always."
"Great, now you can tell me, do I look like a whale?"
I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing at her serious face. Why was she still on this? Why did women always think their bodies looked worse than it actually was?
Instead of telling her that it didn't, I took the robe tie and gave it a pull. She cringed, clearly not wanting me to see her body but I didn't care. I watched it fall opened before I slid my hand across the side of her body to her back, hugging her to my body.
Whispering in her hair, I said, "Does this give you your answer?"
My hands then slid down to her arse, giving it a squeeze before I cupped the back of her thigh and raised it to my hip.
"So I'm still beautiful?" she asked as I kissed her cheek.
"Drop dead gorgeous."
She giggled as my lips moved to her neck, nibbling as the soft skin.
"And sexy?" she asked, pulling back.
I nodded, taking her lips.
"The most," I told her.
"What were you doin' before?"
Seriously? I was trying to make her hot and feel sexy but she refused to let me. Why did her mind always wonder durin' the most important times?
I sighed, but answered her, "Just readin'. Somethin' that you should be doin'."
She shrugged turning around again, "I have plenty of time to read them."
"Trust me Little Wolf, that time will come fast," I told her.
"I just don't want to rush into anythin'."
I frowned, confused to what she meant. How could she not rush into thin's? She had a time limit. It wasn't like she was starting a new relationship.
Before I could question it, Tarna turned around again.
"Can I ask you a question?" she asked.
"Sure, Tarna, what is it?" I asked, pulling her over to me.
"How far along was Bonnie before she died?"
My mouth and hands instantly dropped at the question. I had barely thought about Bonnie over the past couple of weeks and now it felt a bomb had just gone off inside my head with all the unspoken memories.
Frowning, I asked, "Where is this comin' from?"
"Nowhere, I'm just curious. I'm not lookin' to get you into trouble, I just want to know."
I nodded, rubbing my lip trying to find a way around the question. But of course there wasn't one and like I had promised before, I wouldn't lie to her.
"Ahh, Bonnie was about twelve weeks, I think. Possibly more."
She frowned, "You didn't know?"
I shook my head, "She didn't want to see a doctor. She didn't want to see anybody."
"I don't understand."
"There's somethin' I need to tell you," I started stalling, not sure why I hadn't told her before.
"Is it important?" she asked.
"I'm not sure, but you probably should know."
She nodded waiting for me to start. Taking her hand, I led her to the bed taking a seat myself.
"The day I found out about Bonnie's pregnancy – well, how I found out was. God, I maze well say it. I was comin' back from the library, I think I had a meetin' with Callum or somethin'. Anyway, I found her in the bathroom, cryin'. She had slit her wrists," instantly, Tarna's hand cupped mine, "I tried to wash away the blood, but of course she wouldn't let me. And then she said the words that was supposed to brin' me joy. I'm pregnant."
"But she didn't want to be. She was tryin' to kill herself?"
It wasn't a question.
Biting my lip, I nodded, not being able to say the words.
"She was depressed, Tarna. I didn't realize back then but she was. Probably pinin' over a life that Macangus was supposed to give her and tryin' to fill that hole in her heart with me. But he had broken her."
She nodded, "Do you think she ever loved him?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. She never talked about him, I didn't find out that he was her mate till at least a year after she had died. I think at one point, he loved her."
"But he abused her –."
"Hector Macangus is a sick bein' but his father was worse. There is no doubt in my mind that he wasn't always like that."
She frowned, "How can you do that?"
"Do what?" I asked.
"Hector Macangus ruined the life of a lass that you loved not to mention was her mate, so a bit of competition there. He also attacked your pack, put your siblings in danger, also Liv. And yet, you think – though there clearly is no evidence of there ever bein' any goodness in him."
I shrugged, not realizing that I had. We normally let Callum be the good sibling and allow him to see the good in people. I never thought I would be like that, defiantly not when Hector Macangus was involved.
"I don't know. Perhaps I just want to think that there was a point in Bonnie's life where she was loved. I don't even think I had loved her. Not like she deserved."
"To be fair, she didn't love you like you deserved," she told me, making me smile as my Little Wolf returned to me.
"Aye, but I have you," I said wrapping my arm around her shoulder, "And just havin' you in my life has made all the difference in the world."