the most beloved | patrochilles au | boyxboy

distract and sedate

sedated - hozier

p e n e l o p e
"like the generations of the leaves, the lives of mortal men."
- glaucus

"You fucking asshole!"

The voice rang out through the halls, and Achilles lifted his head off of his desk, looking over at Patroclus and offering a questioning glance. Patroclus shrugged, and the teenagers started to whisper to themselves as the etcher tried to ignore the profanity that had just been screamed during third period.

"I'll kill you, I'll rip your throat out!"

The teacher sighed, setting his Expo marker down on his desk and walking out of the room. Other teachers apparently has the same idea, since the sound of shoes scuffing on the floors and mumbles came from the hallway. Achilles reached over and tapped on Patroclus' arm.

"That's Menelaus' voice."

- - -

"I say we split up and find him before he rips someone's - probably Paris' - throat out and shanks him with a rusty cafeteria knife. I'll go to the fields, Odysseus you go - " Achilles was cut off by a hand grabbing his shoulder.

"Hey guys, I'm a assuming you heard me during third period?"

"Yeah. Menelaus, what the fuck?" Odysseus raised his eyebrows. Menelaus laughed.

"Hear me out, walk with me," Menelaus said, draping his arm around Achilles' shoulders as they all walked to the cafeteria for lunch. "So Paris slept with Helen again. Like as if the guy thought that he could keep that a secret! And that means that he's struck the last nerve in my body so I have to kill him now."

Patroclus held up a finger as they turned a corner. "Okay, yeah, no, no one is dying."

"Tell that to Paris' ass."

"Menelaus, we get it, and we'll help you fight him and his brother but I won't let you kill him."

Menelaus rolled his eyes. "What a buzz kill."

"Paris isn't even a threat on a physical level. He's more gangly than Achilles in seventh grade and I've seen him try the monkey bars. It doesn't happen."

Achilles looked over at Patroclus, "okay, rude, but it's true."

The group of boys had just reached a lunch table when Briseis came speeding up to them, slamming her books down on the table and pushing her hair out of her face. "Okay, I know, Helen and Paris are in deep, deep shit, but hear me out."

Menelaus gave her a look of disbelief but allowed her to sit next to him and have the other boys sit down before she gave some wild explanation.

"Alright. So I think - think - that Mrs. Dite and Helen are close, it's weird, I don't know, and somehow Mrs. Dite got into contact with Paris and told him that maybe the solution to this whole problem was to make Helen feel comforted and apparently he took that as to sleep with her. Menelaus, maybe you should just let her go?"

Menelaus sat up straight. "Paris comes into my relationship and you want me to back out? Hell no. I'm gonna break his ne - " Patroclus cleared his throat and looked over at Menelaus, "legs. Break his legs. Because that won't kill him."