the most beloved | patrochilles au | boyxboy

pizza

belly of the lion - john mark mcmillan

a g a m e m n o n

"he gave you honor beyond all, but he did not give you a heart." - diomedes, the illiad

"You know, I don't even wanna think about Hector or Paris, or God forbid Helen," Achilles groaned, leaning on Pat's shoulder. Odysseus laughed, stretching his arms up to the ceiling. "I'm so sick of having to deal with their bullshit."

At this point, Achilles had put his forehead down on the table, letting out another groan.

"Babe, the pizza is here, get your head up," Pat said, grabbing Achilles' shoulders and lifting him up.

"I'm just, like, ready to graduate and get away from all this dumb drama."

Odysseus grabbed a slice of pizza, dropping it onto his plate due to the temperature. "You think Hector's gonna pull something stupid again?"

"Can we not talk about this," Penelope mumbled, nudging her boyfriend's side with her elbow.

"He probably will, but c'mon, over half the school is on our side, right? Like, who's gonna stand behind a cheater and a bunch of people who just beat up other people for fun?" Achilles shrugged.

Patroclus laughed. "Says the guy who threatened to kill Hector single-handedly." He grabbed a slice, handing it to Achilles, and Achilles immediately went to town on it. "Hey, it's a Friday, we don't have to worry about that stuff right now."

"Exactly," Penelope quipped, raising her eyebrows at Odysseus.

Achilles' eyes lit up. "You know, I've been really pumped to see that new movie with Tom Hiddlest -"

"Hey fuckers," Agamemnon slid into the booth next to Achilles, wrapping his arm around Achilles' shoulders.

"Yeah, see, what we're not about to do is this," Achilles said, shoving Ag's arm off of him. "If you could leave, that'd be cool."

"Keep talking to me, don't look around, because fuckface times two is entering the building because he's pissed that you and your brunette lover here got him ISS for two weeks," Ag said, his tone turning serious, and grabbing a piece of pizza. Achilles turned to face the black haired boy, his face a mix between confusion and tension.

"Why's he here?"

"He's got it out for you. He's like, legit pissed. Like 'I'm gonna kill you' pissed," Agamemnon said seriously, "more pissed than Briseis when I took her to Taco Bell for our two week anniversary last year."

"Dipshit," Achilles mumbled. "Okay, so are you actually gonna help us or?"

"I'm here aren't I?" Ag said defensively. "And yeah, some of my guys are over there at the far table if he tried anything dumb. I don't love ya but we both hate this drama with Helen and Paris, and I think we both want it over."

"You really piss me off you know that?" Achilles grabbed the pizza slice that Ag had just picked up from his hand. "Get your brother to find Paris and beat his ass - stop trying to wait for Paris. He's a coward, go find him."

"He's got a point," Odysseus pointed out, gaining the two boys' attention. "Ag, you're an asshole, but I think we have bigger problems at the moment. We have to settle this shit, and soon, because Pat's gotten roped into it already."

Pat looked down at his hands. "I'm the secret weapon they're gonna use."

Achilles looked at his boyfriend. "What?'

"If they can hurt me, they can hurt you. They really want you, but they now know that if they get me... they get you too."

Agamemnon sighed. "That shit's deep."

"If you actually don't shut up right now I will drop kick you across this restaurant," Achilles said through gritted teeth. "I am this close to throwing you off a bridge with bricks tied to your feet."

"Okay, this testosterone is overwhelming. You guys need to first of all chill out, and then rethink this whole battlefield," Penelope interjected, "because you can't go in guns blazing. You tried that, and it only got Hector ISS, and Paris is still being a crybaby. They used Pat to get to you - use Helen to get to Paris."

"Well shit," Agamemnon leaned back in the booth. "She's right."

"You wanna come back to my - "

"I have BC Calculus homework so shove it Odysseus," Penelope looked at her boyfriend. "Helen can be a - and I hate to use this term - bitch, but I have her number for Physics class and I can get her to have a sleepover with me and Bri."

"I thought you just said you - "

"I love you, but I will slap you."

"So you get Helen - that doesn't help me and Pat right now from being jumped at any moment. I mean, I can beat Hector's ass, and Pat can turn his lights out, but five of his guys on one of us? That's different."

"I do this because I love my brother, not you. If you defend Menalaus, I got your ass," Ag said, shrugging. "Also, if you wanna sweeten the deal you can slip Briseis in there on a date with me."

"Yeah right," Achilles laughed. "Also, Hector is on his phone and looking directly at us, so either he's about to order us some flowers, or calling his buddies to spraypaint our cars."

Agamemnon shifted his eyes to look at Hector leaning against a table, his cellphone raised to his ear. He slid out of the booth, patting Achilles on his shoulder. "I got this. You owe me."

And what that meant was "I'm going to walk directly up to Hector, threaten to cut his testicles off, and lead him outside while also threatening to stick a knife up his rectum". Which is what Agamemnon did, with his buddies walking out of the door in small pairs. Hector's main enemy was Achilles at the moment, and he couldn't be bothered with picking a fight with Menelaus' older, buffer, and more cocky brother. But that would only save so much time.

"We won't always have him by us to do that. That happens again and we have to play dirty, which, trust me, I can. It's more of the fact that I don't wanna spend out the rest of senior year on my toes having to deal with a spineless weasel and his temperamental brother who wants me dead," Achilles said, rubbing his face.

"That's tomorrow's problem," Odysseus said, giving Achilles a weak smile, "let's just eat this goddamn pizza right now."

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a/n: OKAY i get it, i've been gone for thirty five years. life hit me hard this year - a lotta personal and school responsibilities. and writing can be hard. this summer was about serving myself. i watched netflix, went to beaches, and learned its okay to be vulnerable. i don't forget about this - i always will see something and think "THATS good for a chapter idea!" please bear w/ me.

talk with me about the walking dead please thanks.

love ya'll

- ash