Inevitable Love [COMPLETE]

Troy miller

I sit in the winter breeze with my sketch book in hand. I continue to sketch. My focus completely on his face . The gentle pencil strokes careful. I imagine his perfect full lips in my mind . Oh how soft they felt against my cheek. His lips red. As I drew the most beautiful lips I had ever seen . As I finish his lips I continue to detail his beautiful eyes. My heart skipped a beat as I remembered his light Brown eyes piercing down at me as he held my hand up against his lips placing a small gentle kiss. My eyes fluttered open as the flashback ended. I began to draw his beautiful long eyelashes as I imagined them resting just above his cheeks as he took a sharp sigh as I pullled away from him.
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I hugged him tightly as if almost frightened by the fact that he might just disappear as he did several times before in my dreams. I felt his fingers lightly stroke my hair as if calming me.
"It's ok , I am not gonna run away I promise", he cheekly grined at me which earned him an elbow from me. He chuckled.
"Hey I am sorry .. I'm sorry", he laughed playfully tugging me to him. I didn't object. We had always been pranksters towards eachother . Now having my bully as my lover was an exciting and rather new experience. I was inexperienced in any sort of relationship . He might as well be the first person I ever hugged.our relationship wasn't like most.we were rather bestfriends than lovers. He pecked my cheek.
"Don't hit me woman, you scare me to death", he joked as I moaned in complaint and turned away.
"Hey I was kidding ", he kissed my cheek.
"When do you think you'll be back?", he asked as I noticed his expressions change . My stomach in knots at his words . I was leaving in two days time. I didn't want to part just yet. I hugged him once again as he hugged me back. My hands playing with the curls trouseled over his forehead.
"I don't know , but I wish you could come with", I said to him . "
"As much as I'd love that its impossible , I am sorry , I'll miss you so much", he says his lips againist the crook of my neck as he spoke. I looked at him once more then I moved away from the beautiful curly haired boy leant againist the wall.

As I pulled away he told a deep sigh eyes shut. And eyelashes draped just above his cheeks.
Perfection.
(Flashback over)
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I continued to sketch him. As I think of every breathtaking feature he possessed. I continued to sketch until I all of a sudden stopped.
The perfection could not be recorded on any piece of canvas except the canvas on which God had created him. I look over to my lap as I simply smiled I rose up , I watched it on the ground, lit up with beautiful, graceful flames of the fire I had lit. Yes I had set it on fire. I knew it was a failed attempt to capture his perfection . Not wanting to let anyone else eye him I burned him. He was mine. Just mine to hold in my dreams, mine to keep and mine to protect in my memories. He was just simply mine. The ecstatic pulse raced through me as I watched it turn to ashes. "You're safe in my Memory, just mine to see, ", I whispered . My eyes fluttered closed once again. Together forever no matter what, I heard a voice at the back if my mind say as I recognized the voices to be mine and troy's . Troy miller, my lover, my fighter, my life and now just a memory. He had become nothing more than just a ghost who crept up in my dream . As the time passes memories fade. But his remain consistent, never fading, concrete. It was the day troy miller entered my life for the first time. Tears well up in my eyes as I was reminded of everything once again. The memories come and go . Not all at once . Rather abruptly at different time .which makes it even harder to bare. Oh how did I get here . I thought to my self as memories of us flooded throw my mind. Troy miller was my boyfriend. I just moved away from Texas to newyork, rather I was forced my my lifestyle. Father being in army wasn't much help either.he helped me. Though it was a long distance relationship, troy was everything I had ever wanted. My urge to cry increased as I looked down at the ashes. I remembered the first time we'd kissed . The first time we'd just stared into eachothers eyes. Everything clung on to me and my mere presence as a wound not wanting to let me heal. Not wanting for me to be whole again. As I wasn't living, rather I was surviving each day of my wretched life. My mum moved away for a bit. My family moved away. Leaving just me and my father . Father was a rather busy man as he took the safety of this country and safeguard of its people's interest very seriously which just left me and my boyfriend miles and miles away. Ofcourse I didn't tell him. I wouldn't want him to feel guilty , sad, worried, and helpless . As the haze in my mind cleared I was whipped out of my sea of thoughts and thrown to the clutches of reality. As it began to darken once more. I looked up to the sky looking for the moon which I was expecting to be full. I had been charting the moon and the stars. Always being constent and I had been studying the faces of the moon to know when.will the magical full, white moon appear once again. The moon brought back the memories that seemed to have been clinging to my mind, trying to cause a flash back. As I tried my best not to give in I am eventually defeated by the dominant memory that takes over. Drunk with jealously of my own content self as I drown in a deep sea of thoughts, memories and flashbacks . His presence could be felt. It was as if he was. Near. TROY MILLER.
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