Inevitable Love [COMPLETE]

Promises

I wanted him in the bluntest way. I wanted his lips, his hands, his arms.I wanted him like the ocean wants the shore reaching and running I wanted him like the rain wants to fall, Sun wants to shine and words want to be read I wanted him to infinity, to the millionth degree, no amount of rain could douse the fire in me for him.
This was absolute. I was madly falling for him. As I sat on the porch in my chair with ice tea in hand. I knew that the love I had was absolute, strong and infinite. Even after all he had done to me, my heart never strayed from its path. But how could it. It wasn't mine anymore now it belonged to a curly haired guy who barged in to my life and left a mark. He had raked away the only thing I had to offer. My Heart. I was for now and forever his. My heart belonged to him. I had given him a huge part of me . The thought of his face causes goosebumps to apppear on my tanned skin. For the thought of his beautiful big orbs planted to my darker ones was just a memory.my love for him was sincere.  It was pure. And it was inevitable.
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"Babe you're over doing it ", aliza said to me with a worried expression.
"No aliza you don't get it , I am serious we are fine he is amazing ", I snap at her.
"Babe just be careful sincere guys aren't common in this world remember what happened to miley?", she says making a point.
"No he isn't like that, he is the most caring guy I have ever met", I shout.
"Sam you're just saying that... Listen to me you are not supposed to get attached to him. He maybe what you say he is or not.. I don't want you getting hurt that is all", she say calming herself.
"Troy is a really sincere guy and not always is a guy an asshole ", I snap back and hang up. How dare she troy was an amazing person. He was always caring, supportive , never lied, and really sweet.
I am just about to smash my Fone into the wall when it rings, I look at the caller I'D .  Not a good time to call troy. Ok sam calm down don't let him know something is wrong .
"Hello?", I say quietly.
"What's wrong?", he asks immediately.
"Why do you always presume something be wrong", I fake a laugh.
"It is , now tell me",he says firmly.
"Aliza called and started lecturing me about sincere people that I should be careful", I can sense the tension build up. He is awfully quiet. Yikes. Speak please say something.
"She thinks I'll break your heart?", he says calmly at first but then." What is wrong with you ? She said it and you believed it tell her that you have to find sincere guys and for the record I am really really sincere to you, so tell her to suck that" , he says angrily , he continues but I Tune out as I am still stuck on his sentences. I am really really sincere to you.
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I blink my eyes at the memory. The promise we made . Together forever no matter what .
"Together forever no matter what!!!", I scream throwing the tea cup . I watch it smash in to million pieces swimming in the liquid which was present in it just moments ago.
The anger and frustration is mind boggling. He lied. He broke his promise. I ran inside and went to get a fresh canvas and my paints. I set the canvas on the stand out on the porch and briskly start moving my paint brush againist it.
Lies. Lies. Lies. Tears slip down my cheek. Lies . All lies.
"Lies!!!", I scream. As I stand up and start painting. My chair falls to the porch as I stand infront of the canvas. My frustration. My anger getting the best of me I throw my paint brush and dip my hand in the paint and move it across the canvas.
"Lies, you returned my love with lies, nothing more then lies, your sincerity was a lie, you were a lie!" I start crying . There is thunder and the rain starts to pour. I look at my hands , red and blue paint smeered all over them. I walk off the porch and stand in the rain . Wash it off. Wash it all of. God I beg you. I can't live his memories. Wash away the kisses. Wash away everything. I finally open my eyes as I notice a shiver up my spine. I was cold. I walked over to the porch and inside. Nothing remains . I knew nothing remained. I knew I didn't deserve any of it. But yet again if I didn't why would it happen to me. Maybe I did deserve the pain. The horrible pain. And this was my own hell. I felt numb as I climbed in my bed. I turned off the lights and hugged myself. I imagined his touch. No matter what I did it wasn't enough. It just wasn't. He was a part of my life . But also he could leave me anytime he wanted. And right now. I was alone. He was nowhere near me. Not even spiritually. Troy miller was my star crossed love. We promised to love. We promised to stay together to help eachother, No matter what. We promised to stay together no matter how hard it maybe . We promised to be us.
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To:troy
Just because you're angry doesn't meant you stop loving someone
X S

, I type trying to get his attention as we had a stupid fight moments ago and I wanted him to talk to me . I was mad at him but he was my boyfriend after all.
Just moments after I receive a text.
From_: troy

I love you even when I am angry...

XT

Troy: I am sorry
Sam: no I am sorry troy forgive me.
Troy: its ok so what do you wanna do tonight
Sam: I don't know.. anything you want. Tonight am all yours :)
Moments later I received another text.

Troy : your mine not for tonight. You're mine all the time.
I blushed at his words as a smile played on lips.
Cheese ball.
We stay up all night talking about random stuff when troy calls without a warning .
"Hello?", I answered.
"Troy?", I say again .
"Hello sam", he sounded a bit flushed. "Yes? Everything ok?", I asked a bit worried.
"Yes , its just umm... I wanted to hear your voice that's all, its been a while", he says.
"I miss you", I blurt out.
"Me too", he replies in a rather soothing tone.
"So what do you want for your birthday?", I say changing the subject trying to clear the emotional air but it seemed as if he wasn't just ready to let it go.
"You", he says . And I almost burst in to tears.
"Me?", I ask as my voice shakes.
"Yes sam, just come back to me , I miss you it will be the best birthday gift , just comeback ", he blurts.
"I know troy I miss you too I'll be back soon I promise, oooh and then we will go see a movie", I smile as a tear rolls down my cheek.
"Anything you want, oh and btw I am loving your display , but I have a request", he says rather unsure .
"Anything?", I say without thinking twice.
"Lemme take your photos, I wanna be the one to capture your next display", his words make me wanna jump on my bed. Too much sugar equals diabetes. I know but this sugar was worth any diabetes I could possibly get.
" sure. Yes" I say.
"Thanks", he says thanking me. As I hang up.
I was inlove. And I had to tell him. But a part of me wanted to refuse any possibilty to that. But I knew it was true. A part of me always knew. Now all that was left, was to tell him how I felt. I was scared to death, what if he doesn't love me? But then again to choose the most scary path is the best way to learn .
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He made promises . I made a world in my own fantasy. He took my heart , I gave him my love. He meant the world to me . As I stay in my bed staring out at the rain from my window.
That's when I receive a text .
From: unknown

I am sorry

X troy

My eye shot wide open as I saw it. The text. I was speechless. It had been 2 months. And all of a sudden there he was.

From: unknown

How are you ?

X troy

I unlock my phone . With shaky fingers and blood shot eyes I type .

"I am fine :) "

I hit sent as the text is delivered to him. He can never know. I simply refuse to tell him. My struggles my problems are soully mine . My memories and my sufferings are all mine and I was too selfish to even.share it with him.

So yes he had made promises and broken them as well but yet again promises are made... Just to be broken.
And Troy Miller's broken promise was a wound that I held dear, and close to my heart. I willed to hide it in the deepest corner of my heart so that no one could get their hands on it. For i had suffered a lot to get each one of my memories. They were mine.
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