Inevitable Love [COMPLETE]

misery

"Look at me when m talking to you!", commands troy .
"What?". I ask him.
"Why did you run from me that day?", he asks sternly.
"Be-because...", I stutter.
Why did u run from him? Was it cuz I hated him or cuz I loved him? But... what if it was both..
******FLASHBACK*******
I throw the diary and it hits the wall hard. I throw a mirror that too breaks.
"Wasn't I goodenough for u troy?", I scream.
"Answer me you douchebag? Wasn't my love good enough. .. I did everything I could.. I even kissed that moron for u .. and u still deny my love? Why? , I scream as tears run .down my cheeks .. as my journal has a page with red ink on it I take it out and read it.. 18 march 2014 I swear I'll love him forever.. I take that and put it back into the journal. It has carved on its cover Together forever no matter what...
The words infuriate me to such an extent that I pick up a nail filer and slit my wrist.. it feels like a million needles piercing me.. the blood alll over my clothes. .which is followed by a nauseous feeling after which everything blackout. .
*********************************
"You know why?"I say .
"Because as u enjoyed torturing me because of ur own miserable self.. I spent days thinking why you would do that to me.. you douche bag what did I ever do to u.?"I spat.
He looks at me stunned.
"You think I am trying to hurt u? Well your wrong..m telling u how you hsve hurt me in everyway possible", I look away and am about to leave.

"Samantha !",I hear a voice crack as he calls out my name. I look at him as tears well up in my eyes. He needs to stay away this won't end well. He runs to me grabs my wrist and pulls me to him. I try to break free . But I can't . I feel so pathetic.
"No! Not this time...I won't let you leave me , can't you see ? We can't stay away. Everything draws us closer towards eachother ", he blurts out . I turn away. Unable to say a single word as tears well up in my eyes . 
"No I can't", I say as tears threaten to fall and I run from that situation. .I run from troy promising myself to just leave his life so he can go around and hurt who ever he wants without any concern from me what so ever..
My walk home was lonely filled with satisfaction. . Regret and hatred...
I will never ever let him touch me again. He made me cry and I shall never forget that. My tears. Never again. I wont ever cry for him. Never. And I wont ever let him hurt me like that. He has insulted me one too many times. And I am drawing a line. For me . Because I loved him for a longtime now but I have loved myself even before that and now its time to think and care of myself too. So I am gonna do this for me.. not for him. Not for my cousins.. not for my friends .. but for me.
*******flashback*******
I open my eyes with a massive pounding in my head. I slowly rub my eyes and open em, when I see an intense white light and I shut my eyes once again.
"Wait a min.. try opening your eyes now", says the nurse while dimming the lights a bit.
"Where am I?" I ask opening my eyes.
"Lenox hill hospital", she says frowning at me.
"How long... where is my family?" , I ask anxiously as I know what kind of interrogation is comming my way. Oh god what am I gonna tell em? "Hey mom and dad.. yeah I tried to attempt suiscide but failed miserably oh why you ask? Because of my boyfriend .. Troy is his name.. no nk dad no need to beat him  up. Oh gosh .. as I hear footsteps I brace myself.  Here they come...
"Hey baby..", my mom looks worried af.
"Hi mama.. m fine dont worry", I declare.
"Yeah ok .. you have to see a therapist so lets discuss this someother time", says my dad.
"How are you feeling? ", my mum asks again.
"Perfectly fine mama", I manage a smile dispite all the mental pain I was in.
"Well you can take her home .. if you could come with me for a while to fill out some forms?", the nurse asks my dad.
"Yes sure", my dad manages a smile before he leaves.
"Is dad alright mama?" I ask my mum.
"Oh yes he is fine.. he was just worried", she says. "You should get some rest" .
I simply nod to that and close my eyes. But I dont fall asleep and how could I ? For I know exactly what my dad was thinking. I am so sorry dad. I have been a coward. I tried to have courage but I couldn't and I tried to take the easy way out. I tried to quit. I promise .. never again. For as long as I live I shall live every moment trying to make it up to you. I will be a fighter . And I will never quit again.
****************************
As I stand in the rain in a graveyard infront of my grandma's grave. Hey grandma. Its me . Sammy. I miss you. I know now how valuable my life is. How much I mean to people. I am sorry grandma If I have disappointed you so far. I get on my knees and touch the tombstone.  I am sorry. From today I promise to live only for me. Like you wanted. I now know why u always said that ..
Tears roll down my cheeks. I love you grandma. I love you so much ... 
Thunder roars..as it rains cats n dogs. I look up at the sky n close my eyes. I take a deep breath. No broken hearts..
***********