Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ five ✗

SHAY

After Harry so kindly dropped me off at my home, I spent the rest of the afternoon into late evening showering and napping away all of my problems. The shower healed some, but brought forth many more problems and more tears. The nap, whilst allowing me the rest I truly needed, brought nightmares so horrid that I awoke crying. I don't know which I'd rather, the nightmares or the crying in the shower.

You never think that something like this could actually happen to you until it does. We were always taught about the possibility of this happening, but I never thought that it could happen to me. In uni, we had a whole day dedicated to Sexual Assault Awareness, what to do and how to prevent it. All that I could remember now was that it wasn't my fault and that I needed to talk to someone instead of bottling my emotions up.

When I had left the hospital this morning the doctor gave me the number of some therapist in town, someone who works with patients like me. When I first received the number I stuffed the card deep into my pocket, hoping to forget it. As much as I want to forget, my mind didn't. So I promised the doctor that I would give the therapist a call, though I wasn't sure if I really would or not. All that could help now was a bit of TV to keep my mind off the incident.

I had since settled myself in front of the TV in my living room, trying to focus on Jamie Oliver cook some recipe that I can never prepare, but can religiously write down in hopes of preparing it one day. That's something that calms me, watching cooking shows and writing down recipes that I can dream of cooking one day. Whether I'm sick or just upset, cooking can help.

"Then you're going to add your rice into the mixture, allowing the-" Jamie's instructions are cut short by someone knocking upon my door, then ringing the bell. I curse to myself, wondering whom on Earth it could be at this time of day. It's about eight in the evening, and no one ever visits so that puts me off as well.

"Coming!" I shout, pausing my programme and shuffling over to the door. I pull at my oversized jumper as I stand up on my tiptoes to peer out the peephole. You've got to be kidding me. I exhale deeply and rest my forehead against the wood of the door before me, hoping if I'm quiet he will just go away.

"Shay, I know you're at the door, I can hear you breathing." I clamp my mouth shut to settle my heavy breathing and shake my head to myself. "I can imagine that you haven't eaten yet, so I brought Chinese take away." I lean my head against the door and exhale deeply. I love Chinese take away more than anything in the world. He probably figured that out from all of those times I would order it for late nights at the office. "If you won't let me in, at least let me give you the food." He sounds as if he's pouting on the other side of the door, which makes me feel guilty, so I open the door.

"Come on in." I mutter, stepping back away from the door.

"Thanks."

I admire Harry on his day off. This has to be one of the first times I'm seeing him in something other than work clothes and blazers, aside from this morning. He's wearing these black skinny jeans that are tighter than anything I've ever tried to wear; surprisingly they look very lovely on him. He wears a black button down, with the top three buttons undone to show what's beneath. I have to make myself stop staring at the ink on his broad chest.