Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

✗ seventy-five ✗

SHAY

1 February

I've heard about the horrors of passing out during childbirth. The one where the woman gets whisked away to the operating room to have an emergency c-section, leaving the man to wait back and cry for his beloved.

What I hadn't heard of is a woman passing out as soon as her newborn is being placed atop her chest awaiting a cuddle.

In the leading months, I dreamed about holding my daughter for the first time. I'd give her a little cuddle to warm her naked body and kiss her despite the filth. I would cry, sob even, and recite how much I love her until the crying wouldn't allow any more words. And then we'd announce the name we've had for weeks before resting for our family to meet the wonder that our daughter is.

I did not dream of groggily waking up to a dark room with a buzzing boyfriend and a lack of baby.

"Hello there, love." Harry says calmly, as soon as I've turned my head in his direction. He, too, looks exhausted. His clothes wrinkled and dark bags under his eyes.

"Where is she? Where's Poppy?"

My eyes are frantic as they search the now empty suite. I don't see a small bassinet anywhere, nor do I see her in Harry's empty arms. Panic immediately sets when I believe the worst to have happened. Thankfully, Harry doesn't seem the least bit worried, so that eases my anxiety a bit.

"Poppy is perfect, darling." And with those four simple words, the erratic beating of my heart in my chest, slows ever so softly until it's a simple pitter-patter. "She's resting with the other newborns in the NICU."

"She should be here, though, with us." Harry nods, brushing strands of tangled hair out from my face. I notice now that his wrist and hand are wrapped in some gauze, causing the crease between my brows to increase. "What happened to your hand?"

"That, my dear, would be your doing. You bruised some of the bones in my hand."

"I did?" Harry nods lightly, letting out a breathy laugh. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright." Harry falls silent for a bit, continuing to just look at me and brush hair out of my face. "You gave us all a big scare, Shay, and Dr. Surrey thought it'd be best if you were able to rest in quiet, without Poppy."

"What happened?" Honestly, I remember pretty much everything that occurred up until the seconds where I passed out.

"Dr. Surrey says that you passed out from exhaustion and lack of oxygen from pushing so hard. You basically made yourself pass out." I let my head fall back against the pillow, cursing myself at how stupid I was. "You scared the shit out of me Shay. I was frantic when you just went limp. The nurses were pushing me out of the way and Louis, of all people, was instructed to pick Poppy up and hand her over to a nurse."

"So, Louis was the first person to hold our daughter?" Harry chuckles lightly now, though in the moment he was probably a bit ticked off.

"Yeah, I guess so."