You Always Have Me

Part 7

The next couple of days had been really tough on Lindsey. He couldn't concentrate on anything, Stevie's words constantly on his mind. He excused himself, saying he wouldn't be coming in to the studio, that he needed some time for himself, because of personal issues. Stevie had a pretty good feeling of what they were and even though she was going through the same as he was, she couldn't disappear too, that would certainly raise questions. 

This particular morning Lindsey left early. Everyone in the house was still asleep, when he pulled out of the driveway. He had several places he had to be at during the day, taking up quite a lot of his time, actually - the majority of the day. Kristen had called him, but he didn't answer, only sending her a text message, explaining that he would be back home in the evening. 

It was around seven, when Lindsey walked through the door, Kristen instantly coming up to him with questions, but he mumbled some response, clearly showing off his annoyance and weariness. 

"Well, then come and eat dinner with us, at least?" She asked, Lindsey already being halfway up the stairs. "It should be ready in about ten minutes."

"I will." Giving a small nod, he went up and to the bedroom, carrying a file in his hand, which Kristen failed to notice.

Returning downstairs and going to the dining room, Lindsey already found his whole family eating, as he took his seat at the head of the table. Picking up a fork, he realized he wasn't hungry, as he put it down again, sighing heavily.

"What's wrong?" Kristen frowned, it was never like him not to appreciate her efforts. 

"Nothing, I'm just... not really hungry." Lindsey reached for the glass of water, taking a sip. 

"Lindsey, what's the matter with you today?" 

Their children looked up, feeling that something wasn't right. Lindsey and Kristen had always been very careful, not showcasing any problems of their marriage, keeping it behind closed doors. 

"Not now." Lindsey simply replied. 

"You're just being weird and I don't like that. You're making me feel uneasy."

"Kristen, please." Standing up, Lindsey added. "We'll talk later." 

They most certainly had something to talk about. Kristen wasn't aware of it yet, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, while Lindsey went to his studio, plucking the strings of one of his guitars, trying to come up with the best way of how to start that conversation. He had to have spent at least an hour, deciding, but in the end he knew, there was no right way.

Returning to the house, Lindsey saw no lights downstairs. He checked the time and thought the kids had to be occupied in their own rooms and Kristen possibly was in the bedroom. That's where he went and he was correct, finding her in bed, even though it was still rather early.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, just a headache." She shrugged, sitting up against the headboard. "So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Taking a deep breath, then letting it out, Lindsey went to his side of the bed and opened the drawer of his nightstand, reaching into it to take out the same file, he had earlier put in there. Staring at it for a moment, he then held out his hand for Kristen to take it.

"What is this?" She, somewhat timidly, took the file from him, afraid to open it. This was obviously nothing good, judging by Lindsey's behavior the past few days, especially today.

Lindsey opened his mouth, but there were no words. Before he could come up with something, Kristen had already found out for herself.

"You're divorcing me?" Shocked, she looked at him, then back at the papers, he was hoping she would sign without much of a fight.

"I am." Lindsey confirmed. "I'm sorry." He knew it sounded pathetic, but what else could he say?

"I can't believe this." Kristen shook her head, itching to just tear it all up into tiny pieces. "Why now?"

"Took me too long. I should have done this... at least half a year ago."

"You mean, when I caught you and her? When I threatened you, that if you so much as look at her the wrong way, I would be the one filing for divorce?"

"Yes. Before Stevie agreed to marry someone else."

"Oh my God... how can you say that? Just so easily?"

"Because it's the truth, Kristen! It's how I feel. I fucked up. I screwed your life by marrying you and taking over a decade away from you, making you believe that we'll have this perfect life, and I screwed up my chances with Stevie - the woman I have never fell out of love with. I'm sorry, but you have to know. I won't reconsider this, I have signed the papers already and I hope you do the same, because let's face it, our marriage was never meant to last anyway."

A lengthy pause followed, until Kristen asked the same thing again.

"But why now? She's already married. I know our marriage is far from flawless, but at least you'd have me. You'd prefer being alone?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Lindsey replied. "I just know I can't be with you any longer."

"Are you back in bed with her?"

"No. Like you said it yourself, Stevie is married now, she's a mother. I won't step in and ruin what she has now. Forget about her for a minute and realize what I'm saying. I'm not happy being with you, I'm not happy in this marriage. That's all. And I want it to be over."

"What about the kids?"

"I'm not leaving our children. I will always be their father."

"That is if I let you."

"Don't even try, Kristen. I swear to God..."

Even if she wanted to, Kristen couldn't keep the kids away from Lindsey, because no matter their problems, he was a fantastic father. She wasn't that cruel.

"I'm not asking you to sign them right now, read through them, but I would appreciate it if you didn't prolong the process, so it takes longer than it is necessary."

"And where are you going to go now?" Kristen asked, when Lindsey stepped closer to the door.

"I don't know. I guess, I'll sleep at the studio. Tomorrow, I'll gather my things and... and leave."