You Always Have Me

Part 11

Beth was torn. In the hallway there was Stevie, who was crying her eyes out and then there was Jeremy. She desperately wanted to talk some sense into her father, but she didn't know how, especially if Stevie - his wife, couldn't make him see that what he had decided was completely idiotic, so why would he listen to his seventeen year old daughter?

Her heart won, unable to see Stevie so upset, as Beth went to try and calm her down. Sitting beside Stevie, Beth pulled her into a hug without saying anything and they sat like that for a while, until she couldn't feel Stevie shaking anymore, just silently (she guessed) crying.

"My Dad is crazy. I'm sure he means none of it. Like... he loves you, Stevie, I've seen him with other women and nobody has ever made him feel like you do. Trust me, he would have never married you if he wasn't madly in love with you. Letting you go would be the biggest mistake of his life, which he would regret until his last day."

"Oh, I don't know, Beth... He sounded so serious, his mind was made up." Sniffling, Stevie sat up, wiping her wet cheeks. "I'm not going to give up, though. I said, in sickness and in health. It's horrible, what happened to him, but he is my husband and I vowed to be with him. He can serve me those freaking papers, but I'm not going to sign them."

Smiling slightly, Beth placed her hand over Stevie's. "You're a wonderful person, you know."

Shrugging her shoulders, Stevie replied. "I just love him, that's all. He called himself a burden and I don't think that for a second. Yes, it's going to be a challenge, probably the biggest one I've ever had to face, but... We'll get help. We'll adjust and learn to live differently."

"I think you should go in..." Showing to Jeremy's room. "... and tell Dad that."

"I will." Giving a small nod, Stevie added. "But not today. He's not listening to a word I'm saying, so I think it's best if I let him rest and then come back tomorrow. Maybe he'll see things differently as well."

"Okay. You go home then, I want to stay."

"Give me or Lindsey a call then, when you're ready to leave."

"I will." Beth said, as the two stood up and hugged goodbye.

After calling Lindsey, Stevie went outside the hospital to wait for him. She recognized some people going in and out, having spent a couple of weeks there, smiling at some, who acknowledged her, although, she wished Lindsey would arrive sooner. 

Stopping the car near where Stevie sat, he knew something was wrong. No, he knew something wasn't right as soon as he heard her voice through the phone. He wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about it, but he did want to ask. 

"Hey you." He said, when she got into the passenger's seat. "Why the sudden change of plans?"

"Jeremy's awake and doing considerably well." She stated plainly.

"Oh?" Surprised with the good news, Lindsey then frowned. "Why... why are you not with him then?"

"He wants to divorce me, because he thinks he'll make my life too complicated with his disability. He says that he should take care of me and not I of him. I think it's bullshit, I tried telling him that, but he didn't listen."

"Wow..." Lindsey didn't know what else to say, turning to her. "I'm sure he'll change his mind, Steph. I don't believe he meant what he said."

"Beth says that, too, but... I don't know." Shrugging her shoulders, Stevie sighed. "To me, he sounded pretty damn sure."

Sitting in silence, Lindsey started feeling uncomfortable for some reason. He just wasn't used to seeing Stevie like this, she was always so happy and full of life. This was unusual and he didn't like it. 

"Lily is with Karen. Tell me, what can I do? Do you want to do something, go somewhere? To get away even if just for a little while?"

"I simply don't want to feel this way anymore. I hate being helpless."

"I wish I could do something about that, but..." Taking her hand, Lindsey smiled weakly. "How does sitting by the ocean sound? Letting it calm you down?"

Nodding her head, Stevie agreed to that. "That sounds great."

They drove without saying a word to each other the whole time, yet Lindsey's presence alone, was already having a calming effect on Stevie. It was good to her to have him near, knowing she could turn to him. She was beyond grateful they were back to that place, where if she fell, she knew, he'd catch her.

Once they arrived and got out of the car, Stevie laced her fingers through Lindsey's, both of them knowing that that was her needing a friend, someone to be there for her, and he was glad to be that someone. Approaching the water, they stopped and Lindsey took off his jacket, ready to lay it down on the sand.

"No, it's okay." Stevie said. "You don't have to do that."

He didn't listen, laying the piece of clothing down anyway and helping her sit down. She then leaned her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her, the wind blowing a strand of her hair in his face, but he didn't seem to mind. 

"You know what else Jeremy said?" Without waiting for a reply, Stevie continued. "He said, that there's someone who can be a wonderful husband to me and a father to Lily, someone who loves me more than life itself."

The words made Lindsey emotional, but he didn't want to appear weak, fighting the tears and faking a cough before speaking. "That's true. I do love you more than life itself. I'll be there for you, Steph, always."

"I know." Circling her arms around his middle, she snuggled up closer to him. "Am I the reason why you and Kristen are separating?" They hadn't talked about it at all and she wanted to ask at last. "Because I'd hate to be."

"You are a part of it. A big part of it. I didn't decide to leave her because of you, because I knew you were married, but you helped me realize, talking so openly to me that day, that I'm not happy and I haven't been in a long time. Kristen asked me if I'd rather was alone, than be with her. It wasn't a hard question to answer, I said, yes. If I can't have you, I would still much rather divorce Kristen than live in a loveless marriage."

Knowing it was going to sound stupid, Stevie still said it anyway. "You won't have to be alone, you might meet someone."

Laughing lightly, Lindsey shook his head. "Do you believe your own words?"

"No, because you're stubborn, I know you wouldn't try and find love again."

"Oh, Stevie..." Breathing out heavily. "All the love I have in my heart has always been and will always be only given to you."'

"Why are you telling me all this now? We had so many chances, Linds..." Her voice shaky, as she felt him nod. 

"I know, but we were both also stubborn, stupid and immature. I don't know... I think, we must hate each other a lot, because of all the pain we've caused each other. Why, though, that I don't know." He then quoted one of his songs. "Loving you isn't the right thing to do, but I choose to do it to this day and that's never going to change."

"You do know I feel the same, don't you?" She knew it was inappropriate, but she didn't care at that moment.

"Of course I do."

Bringing his hand up, he touched the side of her face, lifting her chin up and without a second thought, he then leaned in to kiss her.