You Always Have Me

Part 20

At some point during the night they ended up in Stevie's bedroom. When the morning came and Lindsey opened his eyes, he wasn't exactly sure where he was. But the memories of last night came flooding back to him and he smiled, turning his head and reaching out for Stevie. Only that she wasn't in bed. His heart started beating faster and his mouth went dry. He knew it, he knew she would regret it and she was most likely going to politely ignore him, so he gets the message and leaves. Sighing, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, seeing his clothes from yesterday folded and set for him. She can't wait for me to get out, he thought. What an idiot, why did I give in?!

Once he put on his jeans and t-shirt, barefoot, Lindsey left the bedroom and climbed downstairs, hearing voices in the kitchen. He followed the sound of Lily's giggles and couldn't help but smile seeing Stevie and the girl sitting together, clearly enjoying breakfast. 

"Good morning." He said, catching their attention.

"Oh, Lindsey!" Lily exclaimed. "Sit down!"

He laughed at her demanding little voice. "Uh, I will sweetie, just give me a minute." He then looked at Stevie. 

She understood right away that something was on his mind, so she stood up and followed him out into the hallway. Before he could open his mouth, she grabbed the back of his neck and gave him a big kiss, leaving him very confused and very surprised at the same time.

"Wait... so you don't want me to leave?"

"What gives you that idea?" Stevie questioned, her eyebrow raised. 

"Well, you weren't in bed when I woke up, so..."

"Oh my God, Lindsey!" She laughed at him, shaking her head. "I have a three and a half year old, who's an early bird and whose stomach growls the moment her eyes are open."

"So, you're saying, you were just making breakfast for Lily?" 

Rolling her eyes at him, Stevie took Lindsey by the hand and led him back into the kitchen. As soon as he sat down, Lily picked up and stuck a spoonful of oatmeal into Lindsey's face. 

"Mommy says, you must eat breakfast."

Chuckling, Lindsey said thank you and ruffled Lily's hair. "I don't eat right after I wake up, sweets. But I will later, I promise and I'm sure Mommy will make me do it anyway."

Leaning in, Lily narrowed her eyes. "You promise?"

"Hand on my heart." Lindsey nodded, placing his hand on his chest to emphasize.

Not much later, Karen arrived, taken aback by the sight in front of her. If she didn't know better, she would have thought this was a family, having quality time together. 

"Well, hi there. I'm sorry to interrupt." 

"Oh, hey, Karen. It's okay." Stevie smiled. 

Karen looked at her boss, then Lindsey, then back at Stevie, noting how the two were dressed, or more underdressed. It was pretty much obvious to her what was going on, but she had grown so tired of the never ending drama, she wasn't about to say a word. 

"I have some mail for you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes and, uh... well, one letter is from Jeremy."

Frowning, Stevie got up from the chair and approached her assistant, taking the envelope from her. "How strange. I just saw him yesterday. How was this delivered so quickly?"

"My guess is that he had a person bring it to the mailbox, because it did come quickly and it wasn't with everything else, when I checked first."

"This is really weird." Stevie repeated herself, glancing at Lindsey.

"You go open it and we'll clean up here." He said and she did as suggested.

Wanting some privacy for this, Stevie went to her music room as she called it. Sitting down, she ripped the envelope open and unfolded the letter itself:

I can't believe I'm such a coward... I wanted to tell you while you were here. No, I've wanted to tell you ever since it happened, but I couldn't. I knew it would hurt you and I hate it. But I just can't keep it to myself anymore. It's unfair to you to live this lie, pretending everything is perfectly fine. I felt guilty, but I was alright with it, until Nicole came here. I can't believe my sister asked her... When the truth was right there, all day every day, staring at me, I just... Oh God, Steph, I'm so sorry! 

Making sense of this is hard, but I have to explain what happened. 

When you came to me about wanting to adopt, at first, I didn't think you were that serious. But soon I realized that you were and you were looking into it, starting to take steps towards it... I saw how happy and excited you were, I knew how badly you wanted to be a mother. The truth is, I didn't want to have another child, especially one who isn't mine. How was I supposed to tell you that, when you were all about it? So, I went along with it and I was getting used to the idea, because I wanted nothing more but to see you happy. That's all I've wanted...

All the negative thoughts came rushing back once we brought Lily home. I didn't know how I was going to be able to deal with having her with us. I... I didn't want her. I hated lying to you and to myself, that it was going to work out. I had to talk to someone. Unfortunately that someone happened to be Nicole, one day when I went to her house to see Beth. She wasn't there... But Nicole was there for me... I confided in her, I was upset and lost, I cried... I know she used me, but... but it doesn't excuse my behavior. I had sex with her. I cheated on you and I couldn't be more sorry. Oh, baby, I AM SO SORRY! 

Stevie couldn't read the rest, her tears falling onto the written words, as she let out a sob and crumpled the letter in her hand, then threw it across the room. She realized she had done the exact same thing with Lindsey, but it still hurt beyond belief.