Cigarettes *Muke* #Wattys2016

Chapter 7

Michael had been avoiding everyone at all costs since what happened with Shawn five days ago. He felt disgusting and didn't know what to do with himself and couldn't meet anyone's gaze, afraid that they would see the hurt and fear in his eyes.

He makes his way to the coffee shop downtown and orders the first thing he sees before sitting down. The small boy had been staying out of his house as much as possible but it would never last. He would always be left to squirm away from Shawn as he left kisses down Michael's virgin neck, ignoring his pleas to leave him be.

Once Michael had finished off his drink, he leaves the shop and heads to the nearest gas station. Upon getting to the counter, he asks for a pack of cigarettes; the ones he had noticed Luke always bought and right as Michael is about to hand over the money, it's slapped out of his hand. "What the hell," He mutters, looking up to find a familiar blonde quiff and captivating blue eyes.

"What do you think you're doing, Michael?" He hisses, voice hard.

"Buying cigarettes," He whispers, looking down at his hands. He cowers away from the taller boy, lip trembling and continues, "I just-- I just wanted to be alone and have all the bad stuff go away,"

The vulnerable tone of his voice causes Luke's gaze to soften. "What happened, Mikey? What caused all this?"

He backs away from the lanky blonde, eyes cast to the floor and shrugs his shoulders. "Dunno," He mutters and Luke is barely able to pick it up.

"Please don't lie to me, Michael. I'm worried about you," Tears prick in the corners of the smaller boy's eyes and he grit his teeth, shaking his head.

"I-I'm not ready to tell you all of this yet. It's too heavy and I'm scared. Ashton doesn't even know,"

Luke recognized the name, someone Michael talked about when he had nothing else to say. He seemed to be a close friend of the ashy blonde's and Luke appreciated him greatly, glad Michael had such a great person in his life; he looked like he needed it. "It's not too heavy for me, sweetheart, I promise,"

Michael sighs, clearly frustrated and says, "I have to go, Shawn is expecting me and since I couldn't get my damn cigarettes there's no reason for me to be here," His voice is hard but leaks vulnerability, as if the smallest of words would break him and Luke frowns.

"Stay safe, Michael. Please," The blonde says and Michael nods halfheartedly before leaving the gas station.

***

Michael knew Shawn wouldn't be home for another few hours. The lie was one he knew Luke would take so he used it once the opportunity presented itself and the insecure boy felt only the slightest bit guilty.

He finds himself back in the bathroom and turns on the shower before kneeling over the toilet bowl. He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before coaxing his fingers down his throat, quickly getting sick. The harsh pound of the water hitting the shower tile drowns out the horrid noises falling from Michael's mouth and the small boy sits back against the rim of the shower, a trail of saliva down his chin and tears caking his cheeks. Sobs replace the retching noises and Michael flushes the toilet, taking a few deep breaths, waiting for his stomach to settle.

Soon enough he finds the strength to get to his feet and sheds his clothes, stepping into the shower and washing his hair and sinned skin. The memory of Shawn's filthy touch all over Michael was etched into his eyelids, a never ending nightmare and the thought alone causes the younger boy's breath to freeze in his throat. The rhythm soon changes into a spuratic pant and Michael crumples to the floor, hugging his knees and facing the shower spray, feeling as if he was drowning. All he could focus on was the fire in his lungs and the thought of Shawn's hands roaming his body.

Somehow Michael's breathing steadied after was seemed like hours of panic and he picks himself up from the floor. He rinses the shampoo from his hair and gets out, wrapping a towel around his small frame, actions going right over his head.

His body seemed to be on autopilot as he finds clothes and lays in bed, curling in on himself yet this keeps his mind from going on overdrive which he appreciates. His eyelids droop and he's falling asleep, wrapped in his covers, hoping that would keep him safe from the boy who seemed to be ruining his life.

---

This chapter was short and sad bc same. I've been going through a lot of shit lately hence why it's been so long since I've updated. I've been having constant panic attacks and my depression and anxiety have been hitting me pretty hard lately so I've been trying to put a lot of my focus on trying to get better.

I'm sure the lot of you don't appreciate my whining so I'm gonna try and make this author's note short. I hope you enjoyed even tho this story hasn't been very upbeat and happy but it'll lighten up eventually.

-Landen xx

Word count: 891