Cigarettes *Muke* #Wattys2016

Chapter 33

I got my jaw operated on on the 21st and am super swollen. Plus these stitches are horrendous. Holy shit. 

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Michael lays low for the next few days. Each time he went to work, Luke dropped him off there and when he wasn't working, he was either with the blond or with his curly haired roommate. "Alright Mike?" Ashton asks, eyebrow quirked to the ceiling, eyeing his best friend before the fading redhead nods. 

"Yeah yeah, I'll be fine," Michael promises with a small smile. Ever since Ashton had found out about Shawn breaking into the house, he had made an obvious effort not to leave his friend alone. Tonight, however, the smaller boy knew that Ashton's business had a Christmas party that he was required to go to and Michael wasn't about to have Ashton miss that all for something that had happened days ago. "Seriously, Ash. Go have a good time. I'm sure Clarke looks great too," 

After a moment's hesitation, Ashton nods. "Okay, call me if anything happens, yeah?"

Michael nods with a dismissive hand from his bed. "'Course. Now go before you're late," Ashton gives his friend a nervous grin before pulling on his suit jacket.  

"See you soon." He promises and Michael replicates Ashton's same grin. 

"Sure thing." Michael then manages to shoo Ashton out of the house before scurrying back to his bed. He had flicked the lights off, blanketed in darkness with the soft glow of his laptop the only thing lighting up the room. A new episode of Shameless was playing on the screen that was slightly smudged with fingerprints yet the show didn't seem to capture Michael's attention for long. 

What does manage to catch Michael's eye, however is the dirty shirt sitting beside his clothes basket; the very shirt that he had been wearing the day that Shawn had forced himself into Michael's home. The green eyed boy slides his laptop from his thighs, placing it on his nightstand before getting up and walking toward the shirt. He then eyes the hem which he knew had traces of Shawn's sperm on the maroon fabric. 

Michael grips the neckline of the shirt between shaky fingers before stretching it out and eventually ripping the shirt altogether. Before he can stop himself, he's destroying the shirt, one that had once been one of his favorites and by the time he's done, he's on the floor with tears in his eyes. When he looks up at the clock, he sees it had been less than an hour from the time that Ashton had left for his party and Michael can't help but feel the slightest bit pathetic. It seemed like he couldn't keep himself together without someone else present and even then his mental stability was iffy. 

Michael bats at his temples, pulling at his hair while sobs leave his lips and he curls into a ball, tears hot as they glide down his cheeks. Whenever Shawn saw Michael like this when they were together, Shawn would ridicule him instead of soothing him so each time an episode such as this, Michael felt like a complete idiot. After about ten minutes of crying and choked gasps, Michael manages to find his phone, sending his boyfriend a quick text of "Panic attack. Pls come. My place," with occasional typos as black dots prance across his vision. 

Luke makes it to Michael's house within minutes, using the spare key he knew Ashton kept laying around to get inside. He stumbles up to Michael's room and when he finds his boyfriend in a heap on the bathroom, the spuratic rise and fall of his chest, he frowns and pulls Michael into his arms. "What happened, baby? What's wrong?" He murmurs, voice soft. 

Michael flinches from Luke's touch, sobs increasing and points down at the shirt Luke hadn't notice. "I-I was wearing that when Shawn c-came to mine," He whimpers, covering his face in his hands. "I can't-- I-can't--" He stammers, going back to tugging on his hair. 

"Shh, Mikey, you're okay," Luke promises but Michael shakes his head, disbelieving. 

"N-No, I'm not," He gasps, vision worsening with each gasp. "G-Gonna pass out. Call Ash, please," Michael sobs, shutting his eyes tight. Luke presses a gentle kiss to Michael's temple, wrapping one arm around his boyfriend before doing as Michael had asked, taking his phone and calling the curly haired boy. 

"Ashton," Luke breathes as soon as the older boy had picked up. "Michael's having a panic attack and he told me to call you. He found the shirt that he had been wearing when Shawn had come and forced himself on him and... he's really bad, Ashton. He told me he felt like he was going to pass out and I just-- I don't know what to do," 

Ashton swears under his breath and says, "Alright, I'm coming as quick as I can. Just get him to put his head between his knees and hold his hand," Luke hums in response, helping to position Michael before Ashton lets off a muttered "Goodbye," and hanging up to head back to the house. 

"Ash is coming, baby. Don't worry," Luke murmurs into Michael's hair, squeezing his hand gently. "Just keep breathing for me, sweetheart," Michael nods weakly, rocking back and forth lightly, sniffling as he wipes his eyes. 

"I-I'm sorry," He whispers and Luke shakes his head at him. 

"Don't be sorry, sweetie," The blond replies, kissing Michael's forehead. 

"'M so stupid," He hears his boyfriend murmur and Luke shakes his head once again in response. 

"You're not stupid, my sweet boy. I'll promise you that," 

Michael tries to take Luke's words into account in order to calm down but that doesn't happen until Ashton comes into the house, worry tracing his tanned features. When he finds both Luke and Michael on the floor, he takes a similar position in front of the smaller boy and pulls Michael into his arms. "Get him a glass of water, would you?" 

Luke nods, quick to leave the room and do as Ashton asks and as soon as he does, the curly haired boy says, "You're going to be okay, Mikey. I'm so sorry this is happening to you," Michael only burrows into Ashton's chest, tears soaking his dress shirt yet Ashton doesn't mind one bit.

"I'm sorry," The small boy apologizes nonetheless and Michael feels the boy shake his head. 

"Don't be sorry, Mikey. Everything's fine," 

"R-Ruined your Christmas party. I'm sorry," Michael continues to apologize. 

"Shh," Ashton murmurs, kissing the top of his best friend's head. "It's okay. It's fine, Michael. It was a bit of a drag anyway," The sandy blond's light words cause the lightest of smiles to form on Michael's cherry lips and when he stammers out an "I love you, Ashy," Ashton is quick to word the same. 

Luke comes back into the room moments after the exchange of words and sets a glass of water into Michael's shaky hands, helping him press the glass to his lips and take a small swallow. "Th-Thanks, Lukey," Michael whispers, finally beginning to calm down. 

"No problem, sweetheart," Luke promises. 

Michael pulls the two closest people into his arms, sobbing softly, not wanting anyone else by his side. 

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Story time. I had jaw surgery a few days ago ((as mentioned at the beginning of the chapter)) and when I woke up from the stuff that makes you go to sleep I had an anxiety attack because I was confused and wasn't sure where I was so that's scary. I guess that's where this chapter lowkey stemmed from. Hopefully it wasn't too shitty. Much love. 

-Shianne xx

Word count: 1279