gay ➳ m.c. au

02

adrianna woke up in tears. she had had an awful dream. she rolled over in her bed and saw that it was barely past 3am. she sighed and placed her feet on the cold hardwood floor. the air conditioning was on full blast considering it was reaching nearly 100 degrees in virginia by the middle of july. she walked to her desk and sat down, placing her head in her hands. she looked across the street to michael's room. his curtains had been closed since ninth grade, but the sheerness of them showed if there was a light on or not. the yellow behind the curtains told adrianna that the lights were on in michael's room. she had never known michael to stay up past midnight, so she just figured that he had fallen asleep with the lights on.  it wasn't until she saw a dark silhouette of a boy moving around behind the curtain that she realized michael actually was awake.

she wanted to call him, but she was too afraid to. michael and her never had a falling out, but they stopped talking after he left school. her parents never let her over there and michael was never allowed over to her house. if they even found him in her recent calls she would probably be grounded, but she couldn't stand not seeing her best friend for so long. she picked up her phone and unlocked it slowly. she clicked on the  phone icon next to his contact and brought it to her ear as it rang. moments later she saw the figure come to stand in front of the window across the street as michael's voice came through the phone. 

"adri? is everything okay? are you home? i don't see the light on in your room. do you need me to get you from somewhere?" michael said hurriedly. 

"no, i'm fine, i'm home, my lights are just off," she mumbled.

"why did you call then?" michael questioned, subtle irritation laced his voice. 

"i woke up from a bad dream,  i saw your light on. i don't know, i miss you, michael," she sulked, turning her desk lamp on. 

"adri, i miss you, too, but i can't see you. you're not allowed, and i don't want to get you  in trouble," michael said, disappointed. adrianna felt a tear slip from her eye.

"i know, but i really miss you, michael. i need someone to talk to, and claudia is too busy being boy crazy," adrianna cried. 

"oh my gosh, don't cry, come on. um, i'll meet you outside my house in five minutes, i just have to get dressed," michael said worriedly, adrianna nodded, even though he couldn't see her. 

"okay, okay," she muttered and hung up. adrianna set her phone on her desk and walked to her closet. she was only in a pair of underwear and a tee shirt, so she slipped on a pair of sweatpants and flip flops before turning off her desk lamp and as quietly as possible, she made her way down the stairs and out of her house. 

just like she had ten years ago, adrianna walked across the street and straight into michael's driveway. she walked to michael's porch and sat on the porch swing as she waited for michael to come outside. after three minutes of playing piano tiles on her phone, michael walked through his front door. they both looked at each other with blank expressions. they didn't know what to say after months of not seeing each other or talking to each other. 

"why are you up so late?" adrianna asked michael as he sat down on the porch swing next to her. his sweatshirt was at least two sizes too big for him and his legs were drowning in his pajama pants. 

in the minimal light the moon provided, adrianna could see michael's cheeks turn red. "i, uh, i had someone over," he trailed off. 

"do you still?  am i interrupting something?" adrianna gasped from embarrassment.

"no, no, he left like fifteen minutes ago, i just couldn't sleep," michael laughed. 

"oh, okay, well, uh, congratulations? i don't know what to say to someone who just scored a hook up..." she giggled. 

"maybe 'good job' would be the better direction," michael joked. 

"so, who was it? was he cute? do i know him?"

"uh, i'm not telling you, yes, and yes," michael wiggled his eyebrows. 

"why won't you tell me?" adrianna pouted. 

"because he's not out yet, and it's not that i don't trust you, i'm just respecting his privacy. i wouldn't want him to end up like me," michael sulked. "but, enough about me. what dream was so bad that it woke you up at 3am?" 

"i don't know if i want to talk about it," she mumbled, looking down at her pale hands. there was a long pause, michael didn't want to pry, but she knew he also wanted her to talk to him if something was bothering her. it was the way things always were. "how did you know you were gay?" 

"i don't know, i looked at guys and thought 'i'd hit that' and then i realized that's not how straight guys think, probably," michael shrugged. 

"did you ever feel, like, love towards a guy. like a silly crush. like when a guy came up to you would you ever feel your heart start to beat faster and-"

"adrianna. who do you feel this way about?" michael asked her. 

adrianna wanted to tell michael the truth. she wanted to tell him who made her heart beat faster, but she wasn't sure if she was ready. she knew it was okay that she wasn't ready, but she did feel guilty. michael should know-

"adrianna, are you, like, gay?" michael asked her. adrianna's breath hitched, her heart sped up, and her eyes grew wide. she never thought she'd be faced with such a question. she always wanted people to just assume she was straight and leave it at that. adrianna wasn't sure if she was gay or not. she looked at boys and thought they were cute, she looked at girls and thought they were cute, she had had crushes on boys before, but now she had a crush on a girl and she didn't know what that meant. 

"i don't know," adrianna scrunched her eyebrows and let a tear stream down her face, "maybe."

i feel like this is bad and i'm sorry but i was on a roll with writing  it but then a fucking big ass spider came out of nowhere and i had a literal nervous breakdown bc of it and it was right near my desk and it took like 45 minutes for someone in my family to catch it and kill it and then when i kept writing i kept hearing noises and i'm super paranoid now that there are spiders all around me also i live tweeted the experiences on my spam insta account and my friends are making fun of me.

i was gonna make this chapter longer but i'm sosososo tired and i still need to shower and i just want to sleep and forget ab the spider

also if you feel like this story is moving too fast, i assure you it's not. this isn't even the real story yet, this is still set up, like we were gonna find out that adrianna was bisexual in the prologue of the first draft i wrote of the prologue so the story has barely even begun so bare with me.

i think next chapter some gay shit is gonna happen and i am excited bc gay shit is the best shit

i love you all,  there won't be an update tomorrow, but there will be one on saturday if i stay on schedule 

xoxoxo mary elizabeth