gay ➳ m.c. au

03

the more comments you leave the more inspired i get to write and the more inspired i get to write means the sooner the update and also a longer update ;)

just some food for thought

adrianna remembered the first time michael held her while she cried. it was nearly ten years ago, but it felt like just yesterday. she was on a township basketball team and it was the championship game.  she was the best player on her team and she was given the chance to shoot the winning basket, but she had missed. michael was at that game cheering her on, but no amount of cheering would've fixed the brokenness adrianna had felt inside.  the whole team was going out for ice cream afterwards because even though they didn't win - they still tied. they urged adrianna to come along since she had made at least half of the baskets that game, but she was too upset that she has supposedly let her team down. adrianna's parents were out  of town for a distant relatives funeral, so adrianna was staying at the clifford's house. michael walked her back home as she cried about how she was "the worst basketball player to ever step foot on the earth". michael wanted to laugh about how dramatic she was being, but he contained it for a later time when they would look back at the time adrianna cried over something so petty and meaningless. 

once they got back to his house, the two sat in the grass in michael's backyard. adrianna cried into michael's chest as he wrapped his arms around her. 

"adri," he said, "you didn't let your team down. if it hadn't been for you they would've completely lost the game. you didn't let them lose, you just didn't get the win either." 

"but i was so close," adrianna pouted, "i've never been so far off with a shot." 

"adrianna fields, you are the best basketball player in this township and you know it, too. you're better than all those smelly boys who tell you that you play like a girl and you're better than those mean girls that were on your team last year who thought that your muscles were a bad thing," michael wiped her tears with his sweatshirt. "one day, you're going to be the best player in the state of virginia and the fact that you missed the winning shot of a township championship game isn't going to mean squat, okay. and just the fact that you're getting so upset about this shows how passionate you are about this sport. yeah, you missed that basket, but that just means that you can improve, and knowing you can improve isn't a bad thing. improvement is always a positive thing."

10 year-old michael's words were wise and adrianna never forgot them, and she definitely never forgot how nice it was to be able to cry into michael's chest and feel his arms wrap around her. she never cried in front of anyone else besides michael. not her parents, not claudia, only michael. she even tried not to cry when she was alone. 

michael was there for her first break-up, for her first broken bone, for her first dead grandparent. he was always there, and now before their senior year of high school, after he hadn't been there in so long, he was there. 

adrianna had been crying in michael's arms for a good hour. blubbering on about how being gay would ruin her life - if she even was gay, at that. michael didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say. michael never questioned his sexuality, he always just knew. and even better, he knew when he came out that his parents would still love and accept him, but he knew that wasn't the case with adrianna. she would probably be thrown out and never invited back home for family reunions or christmas dinners. she would be the relative that just disappeared one day with rumors of her "gayness" spreading around the family. michael didn't know how that would feel, he couldn't fathom what it must feel like to know that a part of who you are could get you shunned by your family. 

"adrianna," michael sighed, "it's okay that you don't know if you're gay or not. you don't have to define your sexuality and you don't have to come out to your parents until you're ready. you're only stuck in this town for one more year and then you can move to a city and be who you want to be, you can figure out who you are," michael rubbed her hair.