markson: discoveries

24 : Late Night Thoughts

( this picks up right where the last chapter left off )

Jackson's POV & 3rd Person

And that night, Jackson slept on the couch. Mark had said he was going to right after the night's incident, but Jackson was not going to let Mark be uncomfortable for something that was his fault. So he hiked his butt to the couch and there he lie all night. He hardly slept though, so lost in thought.

He had no idea what had gotten into him just hours before. The alcohol. It had to have been the alcohol. Because what he'd done was something the sober, right minded Jackson would never do, never even think to do. He hated himself, at the moment. He hated what he'd done. He'd scared Mark and broken his trust. And he didn't know what he was going to do to make it all better again. He didn't know how that could even be possible. His actions were inexcusable and he knew that good and well.

He also had Sojin running through his head that night as he lie on the couch. The kiss. Why had he kissed her back? Why had he accepted it? Why had he gone to drink it all away afterwards instead of coming home to Mark and being honest? The person he'd been for the past few hours wasn't himself, not at all, and he didn't know what he was going to do about it. So all that night, he just lie awake, staring at the white ceiling and wishing that that day had never happened.

Mark's POV & 1st Person

Jackson left the room quietly, and I heard his body thump onto the living room couch moments later. That man just now, it wasn't Jackson. It wasn't my Jackson. That man just now, that attempted to rape me, was not my boyfriend that I love so dearly. It was a different side of him entirely. A side I've never seen before and wish I'd never seen. What brought that out in him? I know he was drunk. The alcohol on his breath was so strong, it was unbearable. But why would he drink? He only does out with friends occasionally, and never to the extent to get that drunk. Never.

I know he had been visiting his friend at the hospital all this morning and afternoon. But what led him to the bar? People usually drink with friends for fun, or when they're angry or upset. He wasn't with friends, to my knowledge, so he must've had some kind of problem. Maybe something happened to Sojin. Maybe she's getting sicker and he's sad? Maybe she said something mean to him or something today?

I don't know, I mean how could I. He hasn't told me a thing, anything could have happened.

I still do wonder from time to time if there may be some other reason why Jackson kept his visits to Sojin from me in the beginning. Is he hiding something from me? What if it's all a big lie, what if he's going to meet someone? What if he's just going out and getting drunk and he never wanted me to know? The possibilities of what could be happening are endless.

But I trust him. I want so desperately to be able to say I trust him. And that I have no doubt in my mind that he's told me nothing but the truth about all this. But tonight cracked a bit of my trust in Jackson. The trust I had that he'd never do something like that to me. And if I thought he'd never do something like that to me, and he did, who's to say he won't do other things I thought he wouldn't?

I hate this, I hate all of this, really. I just want everything to be easy again. I want me and my Jackson in love and happy again. I don't want these problems. I don't want any of this.

And on that last thought, Mark slowly drifted into a distraught, not-so-peaceful sleep.

//authornim.
yeah so short chapter but I like it.
leave FEEDBACK!
they'll have to discuss all these problems in the next chapter so b excited okay?
ily guys