Sanctity

Chapter 19

"Elayna wake up."

"Huh?"

"Lily, your alarm."

"Oh, ugh, already," as I turned the alarm off and shook myself from the haze of sleep I couldn't help thinking that Charlie had just called me by some other name.

"What did you call me?" I was fully awake once the realization hit me and sat bolt upright. Charlie was looking at me with a dazed and confused expression. "I think you just called me some other girl's name," I said with any icy tone.

"What, no I didn't."

"Uh, yes you did," I was nodding with surety.

Charlie shook his head, "If you say so but you were sound asleep, you must have been dreaming. What name did I call you anyway?"

"Elaine or Elayna, or something like that."

Charlie's jaw visibly tightened, "Well, I don't know anyone by either of those names," he said heatedly.

"Then why did it upset you when I said them."

"I'm upset because I feel like you are accusing me of something!"

"Maybe I am."

"Maybe you are," he was taken aback. "Lily, why are you doing this? Are you trying to start a fight with me?"

I looked away for a moment as I thought about my own guilt for keeping something from Charlie, "I don't want to fight with you but I can't help wondering about your thing that you are always running off to. When I heard that name it made me imagine the worst."

"Well you shouldn't. I've already told you it's nothing, an old friend. We have been together for 5 years now, Lily and as far as I am concerned I have never given you any reason to doubt me or the way I feel about you."

Charlie was right, of course but I couldn't seem to give it up. "Well, if he's a friend of yours why have I never met him?"

"Because he doesn't want to meet you!" Charlie vehemently stated.

"Oh," my lips formed the word but it didn't come out. I was on the brink of tears, "Why would he feel that way? Does this person already know me then?" I murmured.

Charlie leapt from the bed, "Damn it, Lily, just drop it, OK?!"

I had never seen Charlie lose control of his anger like that and I wasn't sure what to do. He gathered up his clothes and made his way to the bathroom while I sat in bed contemplating how I could resolve things. As I muddled through what had just happened I heard the front door to the apartment open and close. I listened for a moment hoping he would come right back but all I heard was the rain as it battered the roof and sides of the building. My mind was full of contrition as I tossed the covers and scrambled to the window just in time to see Charlie pull away.

I was at a complete loss as to what to do. I went through the motions of getting dressed for work. I ate a bowl of cereal and sipped a glass of juice. "What have I done," the thought kept repeating over and over in my mind. I fought back tears whenever they swelled to the surface and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I put my bowl and glass in the sink and got ready to head out to the shop.

I overreacted, I was sure of it. Maybe I was dreaming, maybe Charlie was just upset because he felt like I was accusing him of something. He was certainly right that I had no reason other than this thing of his to distrust his sincerity. As I turned the events over and over in my mind I realized that I was driving too slowly and that I was holding up the person behind me.