|Sorry Daddy|✔️

Ashton

I woke up around 2 in the morning on Michaels bed, with the rest all curled up to me.

I felt so bad for everything I've done. It was all my fault, if I had just stayed home none of this would've happened.

I managed to slip out of the bed and walk to my own. I laid on my bed but couldn't sleep. All I thought about was the man.

I couldn't quite remember what Josh had called him, I was a little more occupied with other things at that moment.

I managed to cry myself to sleep but probably an hour later I woke up to banging noises and I realized the boys were calling my name.

I jumped up and gripped the door knob, I couldn't manage to turn it and open the door though. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to see the disappointment on their faces.

I shocked myself by locking the door and sitting with my back to it, my knees to my chest. I hated hurting them. I wish I could be the happy boy they fell in love with.

But so much has changed. And I don't want them to leave me because I made another mistake.

Because now I have another reason to be broken again.

I feel so bad, for everything and my mind keeps reminding me of all my mistakes as I start to cry in the room, alone.

Alone.

Maybe that's what I deserved, what I needed.

Suddenly someone was trying to open the door, when they realized it was locked they knocked softly.

"A-Ashton?" I heard Calum ask shakily. I squeezed my eyes shut and put my head down. I was hurting them.

No matter what I did, it either hurt me or them.

"G-go away." I mumbled. I can't hurt them anymore.

I heard him shout to the others and suddenly I could see three pairs of feet under the door. I sighed.

I felt like no one really listened to me. Maybe I should just quit talking. No one would notice anyway.

"We're not going anywhere. We love you Ashton." Calum mumbled and I smiled sadly. I loved them so much.

I didn't want to hurt them anymore. "I need to be alone." I said truthfully. Maybe I just needed to think about everything. I could figure it all out. I could try to fix what I've done.

I get so lost in thought that I almost don't hear Michael talking.

"Baby girl can you please just open the door? You need to eat, it's dinner time." I frown, that's not possible. I've only been in here for a couple hours but when I look at the digital clock on my nightstand, I see he's right. It's almost 7.

I've been in here all day. How could I have not noticed all that time passing?

"No." I manage to say, barely above a whisper. I don't think he hears me but after a few minutes he sighs sadly and I hear him walk away.

I stay curled up in a little ball for most of the night until I finally drifted off into a restless sleep. I had a nightmare of the man coming back and the boys just watched as he raped me.