Misplaced Trust

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The candles flicker, their sparks twinkling underneath the dark sky while spreading their vanilla scent. Fairy lights dance on a string above us, like stars winking seductively at the moon. Cameron sits opposite me in his sharp black and red flannel that is rolled up a little, allowing for his muscles and veins to sneakily pop out.

"Is this what you wanted?" He asks. His blue eyes shining with a glint of hope as he reaches out to me and blankets my hand in his while his thumb rubs the palm of my hand in comfort. "Am I what you want?" He winks, and so, the cat is out of the bag.

"Tonight was perfect." I smile and use my free hand to reach out for my almost empty glass of white wine. I take a huge sip and allow the cool alcohol to rush in and take its course, meanwhile burning my throat, making my head feel more elated.

"I'm glad baby girl." He sneaks a chuckle as I put down the empty glass back on the table and I begin circling the rim of the wine glass with my index finger as I allow him to freely massage my other hand.

Our waiter walks over to us and asks if everything is going according to plan. Of course it is. Tonight is perfect, tonight I feel happy, euphoric even. My head is light and fuzzy, I just want to dance and sing and express how infatuated I am with Cameron, how I just want to crash my lips against his and taste him. Really taste him.

"Come on, let's get out of here." I giggle as soon as the waiter walks away to bring us our final course: chocolate soufflé.

"What about cake?" He smirks and scrunches up his ski-sloped nose. "I want cake." He whimpers, impersonating a dog that had just been denied a treat.

"You can have better cake if we go." I wink in the hope that he can take a hint.

"Let's go." He grins and stops massaging the palm of my hand. And instead of calming me, he interlaces his fingers with mine and leads me away to the restaurant all the way to the hotel next door.

The building is huge, white and modern but classy and elegant. With white walls giving off the essence that it has been built this year, of 2016. The black sofas scattered neatly in one section of the reception, paired with glass coffee tables that each have a bouquet placed in the centre, giving off a friendly atmosphere for visitors. The smiling receptionist smiles back at Cameron and I can see it in her eyes, she likes him.

"Room 401 please." Cameron smiles at the swooning bird like girl. Her glasses hiding her freckles on the bridge of her nose and cheeks but emphasising her big brown eyes. Her wavy blonde hair falls a little above her shoulders and she twirls a lock of hair whilst in a giggling fit while gazing at Cameron.

"Excuse me, could you give us a key?" I remind her and give a little cough to bring her head out of the clouds and back, down here, on earth.

"Here you go." She blushes and continues to fixate her eyes on Cameron, ignoring my polite request. "Enjoy your stay." She jangles the keys and drops them in the palm of Cameron's hand.

"Oh we will." He winks back at me, indirectly ignoring the receptionist.

-

"Oh my gosh, please don't drop me." I squeal as he carries me bridal style in the room and I can feel him bumping into the drawer next to the door, and finally, I feel his hip thrust into the corner of the wall.

"I won't baby." He murmurs in my ear, sending chills through my head that already feels extremely light. As light as a dandelion that has been blown and is spreading into the field.

"OUCH." I whine as he drops me onto the bed a little harder than preferred.

"Sorry." He slurs and I can smell the cigarette smoke hanging onto his lips as he kisses me. His warm lips against mine allow the nicotine rush to transfer from his lips to mine, as well as the alcohol we both managed to consume.

"I like this." I sing drunkenly.

"I like you." He states and moves his lips from mine down to my collarbones, pressing into the bones of my chest, and then moving towards my shoulders, taking in every part of me.

"Let's not talk." I hear myself smile like a stupid schoolgirl who has just scored her first kiss, and not just her first kiss, but also her first kiss with the most popular guy in school; the very same guy that she had been crushing on since forever.

"I agree." I feel him smirk against the side of my neck, his warm breath hitting against my cold skin.

His lips taste my neck and then my jawline and then my lips. And once his lips reach mine, it is like an explosion. I ignore the smell of cigarette and alcohol, but I cling onto the taste of his lips against mine. How it feels. His lips pressed against mine, becoming one. It feels like the missing part, like a jigsaw puzzle that is trying to be solved, but the puzzle is never complete without that one special part missing. And just like that, I feel like his lips complete me, the last missing piece of the puzzle. The key that unlocks the door to my heart and it sinks in. Lucy won't be here when this is over; when my first time is over and done with I'll have no sister to talk to.

"I'm sorry." I pull away and tears roll down my eyes, salt creeping into the corners of my lips, replacing the warm taste of Cameron to a bitter taste of sad.

"I get it. You aren't ready, are you?" He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes filled with disappointment. It feels like he's been let down, like all that hope that has been building up inside of him is crashing and burning down to ashes.

"No, it's not that." I utter almost a whisper and I just don't know if he's heard me. "It's just, after we- well. This is my first time Cam-" I place my hand on his jawline and his strong blue eyes melt into mine. "After this, Lucy won't- she-" I feel myself break down and the last thing I want is a meltdown in front of my boyfriend.

"Tell me." His lips twist into a friendly smile, inviting me to tell him the truth, to express my feelings to him. A smile so genuine, a smile, that seems like a promise that everything will be just fine.

"I won't have anyone to talk to." And that's all it takes. I break down with tears crashing out of my eyes, screaming against my cheeks in misery. My heart pounding as sadness rolls down my cheeks while swimming close to my nose and finally, creeping into the corner of my lips. Bitterness filling me, the salty taste drowning me with devastation and all that does for me is bring back memories, the memories of me crying over Lucy, over the fact that her beautiful eyes would never look back at me. The fact that her lips would never smile at me; her words would never calm and catch my tears.

"You have me. You have Ava. You have us darling." He chuckles as if what I had just told him was absurd. "You will always have us baby." He smiles and kisses my forehead, and in almost an instant I can feel my tears disappear into thin air, my sadness melting away and being forgotten like a bad dream.

"Thank you." I hear myself shine, I can feel my cheeks burn crimson and my eyes feel watery, but not out of sadness, out of joy.

"Come on. Let me make you feel better." He winks mischievously and unbuttons his flannel and holds me in his arms, his eyes filled with lust looking down at me.