Misplaced Trust

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It's been a month. We haven't spoken. Not even a hello. Or even a message to ask if I was alive? Not even a single like on instagram, not even on the picture I posted of our matching strawberry milkshakes. A month is equivalent with a century in girl world and I'm worried. Did my tongue slip a little too far this time, did I really push away the one and only friend who genuinely loves – or loved me in this case?

"Give her a call." Cameron explains as he pushes away his hair that is falling in his face.

"You think I haven't?" I let out a sarcastic giggle and fall on the bad, my back against the mattress and my head against the softness of Cameron's pillow. Had I really let a stupid comment get in the way of our friendship?

I refused to message her for the first few days because I was upset; I needed to cool off – some time to myself. I tried to get in contact once I felt better, once I realised that it was just a joke and nothing else.

At first the messages were short and formal.

I would say, hey, how are you? xxx

And she would bitterly reply, good. – Without even asking how I was doing, and soon later, I was the only one sending messages. It was like talking to a wall, talking alone and not getting a sign of life back, not a single reply to my sea of messages, nothing.

"Go to her house, talk to her." Cameron demands as if he has just found a reasonable solution. I ironically cock my head to the side, but in bed, late at night with thoughts buzzing in my mind, I realise it isn't such a bad idea. I would knock on her door and demand for an explanation. Was this distance she was creating purely because of the incident of her teasing me and me storming off? Or is this something deeper and darker than I think?

The moon sits alone in the dark sky. I relate to the moon more than I realise. Just like the moon, I sit in complete darkness all alone and if things don't go right, I might turn out complete lonely – friendless. I'd rather not have a boyfriend, I'd rather never have a boyfriend rather than lose the one person that matters the most to me. I can't just throw away fifteen years of friendship. That would be bizarre.

Her front door is painted blue, the same way I am feeling in this moment, blue and sad. I knock on the door and I don't care if we are in the small hour of 3am in the morning. I need an explanation and I need it now. Five minutes pass and I notice her bedroom flicker to light, her curtains draw open and I can see her eyes peering at me. The curtains fall back together, her light vanishes and a few seconds later, the front door opens and there she is. I try to resist the urge to hug the life out of her; I've missed her too much.

"What do you want Mia?" She scratches her messy bed-hair and tilts her head at the side before letting out a massive tired yawn.

"I may be paranoid, but I feel like you are distancing yourself from me. Ava, if I did something I apologise, truly and honestly, but rather than you just walking away from fifteen years without saying why, at least tell me so I won't do it again." I blurt instantly. I don't even try to build up the conversation to this; I just straightforward want to deal with the crystal clear issue that lies before us.

"Look Mia. I'm just sick of it, okay?" She sighs and shrugs her shoulders upwards then downwards, and I feel a lump sitting in my throat and it becomes a struggle for me to breathe.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted – I shouldn't have talked back that day, I shouldn't have stormed off. I'm sorry." I try to approach her and hold her shoulder but she flinches backwards, avoiding my touch as if I have germs, as if she is absolutely disgusted with me.