The Foster Family

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Jackie's POV

It's been sixth months since the boys gave up on me. I haven't spoken since Sydney had dropped me off here. I fell into some sort of depression and I was trapped in it. I didn't cut though. That was a little extreme for the situation I was going through. No matter how hard I tried, I could not forget the boys. They were on my mid both day and night. I barely slept at night, because my dreams were filled with Louis. He always asked me if I wanted to try again, and every time, I would almost do it. Almost. But I could never bring myself to reply.

It was like I was living in a nightmare where no one could hear me. Even if I did talk, I'm sure no one would listen. But I didn't talk, so I was ignored and not given any attention to. I blended in with the background, but I didn't mind that. I was never put on the spot or was forced to speak with anyone I didn't want to. It wasn't so bad.

Living in the group home was tough, as I predicted. I barely ate, and it wasn't just because a lot times I didn't feel like it. Most of the time there wouldn't be much left for me. Also, Lauren would always glare at me like I did something to her. Of course, I never did anything to her. I didn't want to mess with her or get in her way.

The months have passed without anything memorable happening. I would wake up, eat a little breakfast, walk around the city, come home for dinner, then go upstairs to bed. It was the same routine almost everyday.

Usually, the boys would enter my brain, and wouldn't leave until I fell asleep that night. I couldn't bring myself to give up hope, even though I should've given up months ago. I couldn't bring myself to forget the memories the boys gave me, even though it hurt so bad to think about them. I wish I could let go, but I couldn't. I was still holding on to nothing.

I also couldn't go a day without Lauren harassing me or glaring at me. She seemed to have a problem with me, even though I have done nothing to her. The other girls seemed indifferent about me. They weren't disturbed by my presence like Lauren seemed to be, but they also weren't glad I was there. If I left, I'm sure no one here would miss me.

I was currently walking around the city, so I was about halfway done my day. People passed without noticing me, being that I easily can go unnoticed. To be honest, I didn't mind being completely ignored. I actually kind of liked it. I was alone with my thoughts, but that could sometimes get dangerous.

I looked at a clock to see it was almost seven. Time for me to head back to the house for dinner. I turned around and walked back up the street I had just come down. I made it back to the group home and opened the door. The smell of turkey filed my nose as I made my way to the dining room. I walked through the door way to find all the other girls seated around the table. I sat down and filled my plate with what was left of the food, which wasn't much. One small piece of turkey, a half piece of cranberry sauce, and a spoonful of mashed potatoes. I sighed as I ate the small portion of food and listened to the other girls talk.

"I'll be back girls!" Nancy called to us. "I have to run some errands."

The door closing signalizing she was gone. I was keeping to myself, as usual, when I felt someone kick me hard under the table. I looked up to see Lauren smirking at me from across the table.

"Something on your mind?" Lauren taunted. "More like someone?"

I didn't answer. I never did. All the other girls fell silent.

"Why so quiet?" She asked. "I know One Direction stole your heart, but I didn't realize they took your voice too."

I wish she would stop bring up One Direction. It makes it harder to be away from them. I know they don't want me, but I can't help by hope they'll come back for me.

"Quit thinking they still want you, because they clearly don't. If they did care about you, and if Louis still loved you, you wouldn't be here." She said, her words cutting like knives.

I looked away and she knew that she had hurt me. The other girls were all silently observing us as I felt the tears start to come on. I held them in, because I did not want to cry in front of the other girls. I couldn't hold it for long though, and soon I was running out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The empty hallway caused my feet to echo through the still quiet house. I reached the room I shared with Molly and Quinn as the tears began streaming down my face. I closed the door and jumped up onto my bed. I didn't even feel like changing. I was wearing sweatpants anyways, so it wasn't like I was uncomfortable.

I pulled the blankets up to my chin and lay there thinking about what Lauren said. I thought about how the boys hadn't contacted me ever since I left. No message. nothing. The more I thought about it, I realized Lauren was right. They didn't care about me. They never loved me. And they weren't coming back for me.

I cried until I couldn't breathe, and once I caught my breath, I cried some more. I ended up crying myself to sleep after I decided I was going to try to forget the boys. I wasn't going to purposefully think about them. I was going to keep them away from my mind. I wasn't going to spend my nights wishing they'd come back for me. I wasn't going to relive old memories in my mind. I wasn't going to dream about Louis asking me if I wanted to be his again or the boys asking if I wanted to come back. I wasn't going to think about One Direction.

Tonight was the night I was finally letting go of the boys.

I had finally lost hope.