A New Kind of Science / Holtzbert

Too Much Pain

The Ghostbusters solemnly entered their station with gloom and each of them had several thoughts running through their heads. Kevin was still trying to recover from his second time dealing with a possession, Patty wondered why Holtzy had never told her she was an orphan or that Rebecca worked at her orphanage. Meanwhile, Abby couldn't get her mind off of how things were left with Mary Anne and Jillian just wanted to go up to her lab, play with some of her toys and get away from everyone for a while. Erin was the only one who actually spoke her thoughts the moment she walked into the building behind Holtzmann. 

With a hand on the blonde's shoulder, Gilbert said, "I'm really proud of you. I'm sure that was really hard for you. But you did great."

"I didn't even do anything." Holtz didn't turn her head, but she did look at Erin through the corner of her eye, wishing and hoping she would get her hand off of her. Her wish came true.

"What do you mean you didn't do anything?" Gilbert excitedly let go of the woman's shoulder and she stepped in front of all of them, turning around to walk in backwards while looking at her colleagues. "You did something none of us have ever done!" When she noticed the looks of confusion she received from each of them, she retaliated to make her statement more clear. "You helped a ghost move on. All we've ever done is capture ghosts. You gave someone the strength to go to the other side on their own. That's pretty incredible!"

Not really believing she even did much to help Mary Anne, Jillian's brows furrowed in confusion but she half accepted the scholar's words anyway. "It is?" She moved her eyes around, wondering if Patty and Abby were picking up on Erin's statements as well. She couldn't tell.

"Yes! Of course it is!" Gilbert finally turned back around and took a few more steps forward before stopping in her tracks. Her face lit up before she even turned around a second time and the other four saw her mouth wide open with a smile. "You know what this means?" She excitedly whispered with a small nod.

"No? What?" Abigail looked at her best friend with perplexity while she continued to move toward her own desk.

Erin made a small jump in the air and the moment she landed, her feet began to move around as well as her dancing fingers. "It's time for a celebration dance!" She made her way over to their first floor stereo and she put a hand on the power button.

"I don't know, Gilbert." Patty shook her head at her desk. "I'm too tired to dance."

"Alright, fine. The other three will dance with me. Right, guys?" She pressed the button and a random song began to play as she danced around the area she stood in.

"Nah. I'm just gonna sit down and, uh...do some more research." Her highschool buddy began.

"What? Come on, Abby! Let's dance!" It wasn't until now that even Erin, herself, realized she was acting like this to try and keep Holtzmann's mood up after the day she had had. "Holtzmann?" She looked at the blonde with hope and made a gesture with a come hither motion. "You owe me a dance." 

Despite all the feelings that ran through Jillian's heart and brain, she couldn't prevent the redness from rising in her cheeks, nor could she stop her body temperature from transitioning from that of a healthy child's to a sick horse's. Watching her subject of an infatuation dance around with joy and enthusiasm made her feel butterflies in her stomach once again and an unintentional grin grew on her face. The moment Gilbert noticed the smile, her own smile grew and Jillian couldn't resist the urge to let the music take her away. And by 'away,' this meant closer to, a still dancing, Erin Gilbert. The two danced for a bit while Patty watched with a smirk and Abby bopped her head to the beat at her computer. Kevin leaned against his desk, slightly hitting his head every now and then to get rid of the fuzzy feeling he had from the possession. 

After a couple of minutes, he moved away from the desk and Erin looked over at him. "Hey, Kevin! You gonna dance with us?" Jillian turned her head from the brunette and rolled her eyes, continuing to dance with odd and expressive moves.

"No. I'm just going to the bathroom." He put a finger in his ear and wiggled it as if he had heard a ringing. Closing his eyes, he hit his head once more and headed for the bathroom.

This caused Erin's smile to fade and her dancing suddenly slowed down as she watched him walk away. The moment he was out of sight, she only swayed side to side as she spoke. "What is wrong with me?" She asked the other ladies in a hushed tone, hoping he wouldn't hear her. "Am I really that repulsive?" She looked to Abby who shrugged, missing the shaking of Patty's head from her own desk. "What? What do I have to do to get his attention?" 

"That's enough dancing for me!" The blonde awkwardly made her way to the radio and she dramatically pushed the power button, cutting the song short and Erin's awkward swaying slowly subsided as she stared at Holtzmann. Jillian walked passed Gilbert and she stopped at Kevin's desk on her way to the stairs. Picking up one of his pencils, she turned to look at Erin who still watched her with disorientation and let the utensil fall to the floor. Just before turning to head up the stairs, she slammed her fist down on Beckman's wooden table and left. 

Patty closed her eyes and let her head drop in disappointment. Her arms were folded and leaning forward against her desk. She couldn't help but notice a stinging in her own eyes as her heart was beginning to break for the poor little weirdo. 

"What happened?" Gilbert asked once Holtzmann reached the top of the stairs.

"You don't get it, do you?" Tolan calmly broke. Erin looked to her, seeing the woman's face staring down at the table in front of her. "Either of you?" She lifted her head, looking to Abby, who was oblivious to anything that had just happened when her fingers were fast at work on the keyboard. "Hey! Yates!" Patricia called out.

"Huh? What?" The scientist pushed her glasses up to her face some more.

"Psh!" The dark woman shook her head with a frustrated smile. 

"What? What'd you say?" Abigail asked, taking her hands away from the computer. 

Erin stared at Tolan with bewilderment when she didn't respond. "Patty, what don't we get?"

There was now a battle going on in Patricia Tolan's mind. She told Holtz she wouldn't tell anyone...not even Abby. But everything was beginning to be too much for the only one with any common sense in this group. It was amusing at first...but now seeing the pain it was causing her friend was beginning to cause her pain as well. Plus, seeing the hint of pain in Erin's eyes everytime she had bombed with Kevin added to it. Patricia thought it was painful enough to see Abby so consumed in her work that she couldn't see what was right in front of her. And there was enough pain in just watching Kevin's screw ups in anything he did, including flirting with Abby. It was all just too painful and she wasn't sure if she could let it go on much longer. As she sat there at her desk, looking back and forth between the two clueless women, a war was being won in her head and she surrendered. "Holtzy wants you!" Her voice shook as she said it, but she felt the pressure in her head lighten when she did. 

"What?" Erin asked with a ridiculous smile when she reached her own desk in the corner of the room. 

"She likes you, man." The pressure lessened even more. "And I mean like, a lot!"

"Who? Me?" Gilbert pointed to herself. Abby's eyes widened as she now looked back and forth between the two women at their desks, feeling awkward sitting at the desk in the middle. 

"Yes. You!" Patty nodded twice. 

"What makes you think that?" The former professor felt her neck and cheeks growing warmer than the day everyone in school found out about her going to therapy for seeing ghosts. 

Tolan responded slowly, now realizing what she had just done. "She told me." There was no pride in her confession and the pressure that was subsiding had now begun to grow again. It only grew worse when Erin turned and ran up the stairs, skipping two steps at a time. In the corner of her brown eyes, Patricia could see Abby's mouth wide open in shock. Not wanting to spill anymore, Tolan put her head down in her hands that rested on the desk and she asked herself in her head, 'What have I done?'