lost smile (discontinued)

five

「lucy

It has been 3 days since I woke up. The guild is back to the normal noisy routine, but there was a minor difference, Lisanna was sitting with Team Natsu, taking my place, and almost everyone was ignoring me, like that would change anything.

I was thinking all of this while drinking my strawberry milkshake at the bar, where I watched Mira as she was wiping the glasses with her cloth.

My mind was stormed with many negative emotions; jealousy, hate, sadness. It didn't take long for these emotions to overcome me.

"Yeah!" Lisanna jumped up in excitement, I turned my head, and saw Lisanna, smiling like a little bitch.
She realized what she did and quietly sat back down, her cheeks were the shade of Erza's scarlet hair. Natsu and Erza started chuckling at Lisanna, except for Gray, Wendy, Carla and Happy.

As I watched the scene, Natsu and the others stood up, and started to walk towards me. I had a gut feeling that this was not going to be good.
I looked over at Gray and Wendy, Gray had this sad expression and didn't look me in the eyes.
Wendy was the only one that I made eye contact with, her expression told me everything; guilt.

"Luce" Natsu smiled at me, and I knew, that smile was possessed.

"Yes?" I made it hard for any of them to read what I was feeling.

"Well, we had been thinking of kicking you out of my team" He smiled proudly, I felt something, Lisanna's fake love would surely crush him.

"What do you mean Natsu?" I asked him with my best fake smile, he didn't know, he always used to know if I was faking or not, well used to, but not today, not ever again.

"Come on Luce do I EVEN need to say this." He said rolling his eyes, it annoyed me, one second, he smiled like there was nothing wrong, and now, he thinks it's okay to speak so low of her. When I heard Lisanna silently giggle, I knew, it's the end, our journey, my journey with Fairy Tail, is close to the end. It pained me to know that it was all her fault.

"Yeah you really are such a clueless idiot, but I guess I'll tell you anyways." He sighed

"You are so weak, for example you hide behind your spirits and use it them like materials, even if you claim you and your spirits are equal. You complain about your rent every time, all of us are fed up with your spoiled behavior, not to mention when Phantom Lord attacked, you couldn't do anything but cry like a baby, it's annoying" Natsu wouldn't normally tear me down like this, the Natsu I knew wouldn't ever do this, but he is doing it. And I'm allowing myself to be blamed because Lisanna doesn't want me near him.

Tears began to roll down my cheeks, he is right, I'm a crybaby, "You really are a idiot Natsu, you're allowing yourself to be used by Lisanna, your mind isn't in the right place, I know your heart is trying to tell you that, but everyone knows, you don't listen to your heart. But I don't care anymore, don't come running to me if she breaks your heart" I kicked Natsu, pushing him back, but that made him step a few steps back.

Gathering up the last of my courage, I made it clear that not any of them could hurt me any further, "You better let my words sink into your thick skull, this also applies to every one of you so called comrades," my eyes scanned the room, people where beginning to gain interest, the 'weakest' girl was finally standing for herself, "At a very young age, I was abused by my father, making me doubt me own like life, he blamed me for the death of my mother. What saved me from death was his hunger for more money, he forced me into arranged marriages, seeing as that was the only use of me anymore, he made sure that I wouldn't revolt, and I would behave like a good child, and providing him with more money while I suffer. My mother loves me dearly, after her death, I lost hope of any future. My celestial spirits and the maids were my only caring family left. And I had a great friend that left me, it was already painful my mother died. My spirits, I never ever considered spirits as slaves. They are my family, I would never ever abuse them, they have helped me throughout my life. When Phantom Lord attacked, I cried because everybody was willing to risk their life to save mines, but apparently I'm wrong" I glared at Natsu, my feelings for him completely vanished.

He began to laugh, with Lisanna joining in, "Well don't you think you are strong, weak brat, little words will not affect me, especially if they belong to someone that makes up lies of her past to make people feel sympathy for her, don't you already have enough attention?" My she'll began to crack, the one protecting me from being hurt again, just like the past.

"When you disappear from the face of this Earth, join your mother in hell, both of you don't belong here" he shouted, ignoring the fact that his father, Igneel, died as well.

I slapped him as hard, and a red hand print was left on his left cheek, "I wish we never met, at this very point, I wouldn't even care if you get crushed, because I have lost my reason to even trust you" I stood up, running to my apartment, running away from people that would hurt me.

/edited: 071718