Howl Silently My Love

Undeserved Blame

Chapter 27

Late that night I found myself sitting by my window, just looking up at the moon. It wouldn’t be much longer before that fateful night when everything would go down and so far we had nothing. Ryder kept telling me not to worry and believe me I had been trying really hard but it was just hard to let go of the fact that I might have lost him if nature had her way—which she seemed to do a lot.

The shifting on my bed drew my eyes back into the room. I looked over at Ryder as he slept, curled up in the centre of my bed. Sometimes I wished I could be just like him. He didn’t care about a lot of things and he was the bravest person I knew. If I could have had just half of his strength then I knew things wouldn’t have been so bad.

My door swung open slowly. I held my breath, already knowing who was entering. Mom peeped inside, glancing to either end of the room before her eyes rested on me by the window. When she saw that I had seen her she walked in, shut the door then made her way over to me. As she did I sighed on the inside. This was just great, she was coming to lecture me I just knew. Then the conversion would turn into some sappy thing that I would have to go along with unless I wanted her to think that I was unremorseful for my actions. Couldn’t she have let me sleep through the night before attacking me about the situation? I mean yeah I was glad that she didn’t tell Dad but at the same time I wished she had no idea either. I would have had to tell them at some point but then it would be on my terms instead of my nosy mother’s. What would I have even told her? I didn’t want them banning Damen—unfortunately that would have been awful—but at the same time they didn’t know about any other guys in my life—I didn’t know about any other guys in my life. It wasn’t even like I could have called on some random guy from school because Dad would have really gone after him and that would have looked even worse for me. They would probably think that I was sleeping around with so many guys that I didn’t know who the father was. I could see it already, being sent to some boarding school by the countryside in a country I couldn’t pronounce.

“Don’t give me that look young lady, you know we have to talk about this at some time and I need to know what happened before you father can even get involved. It’s bad enough that I didn’t tell him as soon as he got home and I won’t hold it to myself for very longer so you had better start explaining.” Great, she was in a good mood. I couldn’t wait to see where this night would go . . . not.

I turned my back to her and pretending to be looking out at the forest. I still hadn’t thought of a name and telling her that I didn’t know anything wasn’t an option.

“Alexandra I’m speaking to you, turn around.”

“I don’t want to talk about it . . .” I mumbled. I had to buy myself some time.

“Alex—“

“I was a stupid move and I know that now so just please,” I paused to drew in the shakiest breath I could manage to fake, just to add a nice touch, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“What was a stupid move? Honey did you make Damen take advantage of you or something, if so then it’s not your fault—it couldn’t be.”

Why were they so bent on calling Damen’s name, jeez.

I shook my head slowly then took my own time in turning to look at her in order to demonstrate a level of reluctance. “It wasn’t Damen . . .”

“What? . . . Then who . . .?”

What ever happened to showing sympathy before asking questions? I made my eyes fall to the floor then over at my bed. Ryder was now awake. His eyes were stuck on me and his gaze was serious. That was when it hit me.