Chapter 4; Time to Let Go

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I stood there, shaking and this time it wasn't from the cold air, it was with nerves. How could I be so stupid as to tell him I was in love with him, especially when I knew I had no chance.

"Oh Vanessa if only you knew the half of it," he said, shaking his head.

"Then tell me."

"Tell you? Tell you that the only reason I stayed with Sarah was to get closer to you?" the tone in his voice changed to anger.

"That's bullshit! You were hurt when she cheated on you!" I yelled.

"I was hurt. But not for myself. For you. For your dad."

"You could never ever choose me over my sister! You were getting jealous,Will, of that guy my sister was texting!" The tears slowly made their way down my rosy cheeks. I was sure they were going to freeze into icicles.

"I fell out of love with her. I tried to make you jealous of mine and Sarah's relationship because that's the kind of sad guy I am. I don't look like the type of guy who'd fall for girls like you, do I? But I did. I never believed in love at first sight until that night when Sarah introduced me to you. You were everything that Sarah wasn't!" The anger growing inside of him began to scare me.

"Exactly! I'm not stunning, my hips are too big, my thighs touch, my hair doesn't always stay in place and..." Will cut me off

"And that's why I love you! You weren't scared to be yourself around me and you didn't care if you were wearing make up or not because you accepted yourself. Sarah didn't. To this day, I've still never seen her without make up," the pain in his eyes crushed me.

I burried my head in his coat. I couldn't believe this. I wanted to. I wanted to so bad but I just couldn't. I loved him so much that it physically hurt.

"But we can't be together, it's just too complicated. We are going to have to move on. I love you, I really do but that's why we should let each other go," he said, walking towards me.

Those words hurt. Like a thousand knives being angrily thrown at you. I cried. I didn't know what else to do so I just let it all out. I cried into his jacket whilst he wrapped his long and manly arms around me. I didn't want him to. I hated him. I hated him for not telling me and for saying we can't be together. I hated him so much. Or maybe I hated how much I loved him.

"Shhh," he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

I just kept crying. I was in such shock with everything. I didn't know what to do. I kind of wished that he had just left me to drown. Left me to sink to the bottom of the lake bed where I could rott away along with all my problems rather than being brought out to face them.

"I'll run you home," he said, guiding me towards the car, my eyes stinging.

When we returned to my house, he walked me up the path and straight to the front door, where my dad was waiting with a big smile.

"Did you guys have fun?"

"Apart from the fact I nearly died," I mumbled.

"What was that, Vanessa?" dad raised his eyebrow.

"Oh nothing, I had great fun," I said sarcastically, my eyes narrowing at Will.

"Could you give us a second?" Will asked my dad and with no words said, he left.

"Oh yeah, I forgot, here's your coat," I said, walking down the path to give him it back.

He didn't reach out to take it and that's when I knew it wasn't the jacket he wanted.

"I'm sorry but Vanessa, I think this should be the last we see of each other. Times are hard and things get complicated but if we do meet again in the future, I know you'll be happy with who you are with," he said, pulling me into a hug.

"Wait, you're leaving?"

"I think it's best for both of us," he whispered and with that, he hopped into his truck.

I was speechless. I didn't feel anything. But then again, not knowing how to feel and not feeling anything are two completely different things.

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