Three Words // Joshler

16

(song: Car Radio; Vessel)
|i just watched the ERS highlight 10 and I'm just so proud of them, and of that girl who is 100+ days clean. I can't believe I'm crying gah. I'm gonna say this again, and this will definitely not be the last, but
We Did It |-/ ❤️|

||Josh||

I woke up with a pain in my neck and looked around the room. I realized I was still in the hospital room with Tyler and I fell asleep in the chair. My neck hurt from not having it supported. I turned around when I heard a knock on the door and I saw the doctor come in with a smile.

"Hey Josh, did you spend the night?" he asked as he wrote a few things down as he checked the machines.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied back rubbing my neck to try and get the pain to go away but it didn't help.

"Well," he said turning back to his clipboard and jotting down a few more notes, "I'm pretty sure you want to go back home and take a shower or so, correct?"

I shrugged, "I don't really want to leave Tyler here. Why do you say that? Do I stink?"

He let out a laugh, "No, I just thought that since you just awoke you might want to get ready for the day,"

I nodded, "But what if Tyler wakes up while I'm gone?"

"Then I will tell you if he says anything, okay? Now go on."

He walked out the room and I stood up too. I glanced at Tyler, who was sleeping peacefully in his bed. I smiled and walked out as well and back down to my car. I drove back to my apartment where I took a shower, got ready, and picked out some clothes. On my way over to my apartment, Brendon called and he wanted me to meet up with all of them at his place so I said yes.

I drove over to Brendon's and when I got inside, I was being hugged by way too many people all at once. I let out a stiff laugh before they let go.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Tyler," Gerard, my friend, spoke up with Frank, his boyfriend, nodding next to him. I don't know how Brendon got his number, but i'm glad they're here. I haven't seen them in what feels like forever.

"Yeah me too, but it wasn't your fault-"

"It was mine, wasn't it?" Brendon cut in and we all looked at him, "Dallon told me about what I said and I feel really bad Josh,"

"What happened?" Patrick asked as everyone waited for an answer.

"Last night, Ty and I were asking each other questions and I asked him what his deepest secret is but he wouldn't tell me. So I called Brendon and he was drunk so he told me a secret that 'apparently' no one was supposed to find out,"

"What was the 'secret'?" Pete now asked.

"...Brendon and Tyler kissed,"

"What? When?!"

"Calm down there Peterpan," Brendon shot back and Pete simply replied with his middle finger.

"It happened before me and Ty were dating. But then he tried to make me hit him and I kept saying no but I shoved him at one time and he cried and ran out-it's just one big mess!"

"I'm sorry dude,"

"Its not your fault, Brendon,"

"Yeah it is! If I wouldn't have been drunk, this wouldn't have ever happened,"

"You can't blame yourself, and don't beat yourself up over this, it's not your fault okay?"

"Then who's fault is it?"

I didn't say anything even though I knew it was mine. I shouldn't have been so stupid. He's been through a lot, and I just had to make it worse by overreacting. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Mine," I answered quietly, scratching at my arm.

"Don't say that-" Patrick cut in but I interrupted.

"It's okay. Don't try and change my mind. I'm going to go visit him sometime and see if he's up."

I walked out of his place and closed the door behind me. I walked back down to my car and drove to my apartment. I walked inside and sat down at my drum kit before I started to play anything that came to mind. My knuckles turned white and I continued to play until my sticks broke, I sighed and threw them into the garbage. I'm surprised I haven't been kicked out of my apartment yet.

I wiped away the sweat on my forehead with my tshirt and took a quick cold shower. Okay, maybe it wasn't quick. I mainly stood there and thought about how empty I felt without Tyler listening to me play the drums or when we would play Super Smash Bros Melee together, even though he beat me every time. I smiled a little and got dressed again before I drove back to the hospital once again. The nurse recognized me and smiled when I walked in. I returned it and walked straight inside Tyler's room. There was a little tinge of hope inside me that was telling me that he was awake, but when I looked, he was still asleep and that feeling of hope faded away.

I also noticed two people in the room and when I walked in, they turned their attention away from Tyler and it was now on me.

"What're you guys doing here?" I asked as they stood up and made their way over.

"We wanted to make sure he was okay," Jenna answered as she gave me a hug. I hugged back and we pulled away as Debby gave me a hug next. I haven't seen them both in a long time and it's weird that where we would finally see each other is here.

"Did he say anything?" I asked as I walked over to sit down in my spot from before.

Jenna shook her head and so did Debby, "He just laid in the same spot."

I nodded slowly as I stared at him. His cuts were starting to scab and I saw his arm that had the IV in it and noticed the 4 lines along with a few smaller scars from Blurry. I instantly felt more sad.

"Who told you what happened?" I asked cutting the silence.

"Brendon told us and we decided to come together," Debby answered and I nodded.

"It's sad that this had to happen. Did they even figure out who caused the accident?" Jenna asked upset.

"I think it was two guys, and I think they were drunk." I answered.

I heard her sniff so I looked over and saw her start to breakdown. She wiped away her tears with her thumb and then grabbed a tissue on the other side of the room. She came and sat back down.

"It's okay, he's going to get better." I whispered as she leaned her head on my shoulder and I rubbed her arm as Debby held her hand. She cried even more and Debby let out a few tears herself.

"Why aren't you crying?" Debby asked quietly after a few minutes since Jenna was now asleep and I looked over at her.

"Not sure," I want to cry but I can't, no matter how much it hurts me to see them both upset and to see Tyler like this. Debby nodded and looked at her phone.

"We better get going," She spoke up as she let go of Jenna's hand. She stood up and I moved a little to get Jenna to wake up, which she did.

"Yeah, I better go to work anyways." I said as we all got up to give each other hugs. Before I followed them out the door, I saw Jenna look back at Tyler for a few seconds before frowning and continued to keep walking behind Debby. I put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. I wanted to say it was going to be okay but is it really? Is everything really normal and okay anymore?