Hazel Eyes <frerard>

frnk u lil shit

It had been five days since Frank had gotten home, and all he could do with lie in bed and drink away his sorrows and regret. He regretted everything he had said to Gerard. He was so disappointed in himself for doing that. Every tear that Gerard shed seemed to punch Frank in the gut. He couldn't bear it. So, when he got home, he opened the liquor cabinet and went to town. Maybe the alcohol would make him forget.

~

Gerard had been living on coffee, cigarettes, and takeout. He couldn't bring himself to make food. He felt tired all the time. Tired of crying, tired of being sad, tired of being him. All he was was numb.

~

Frank was fucking stupid. I'm fairly certain we already established that, but I felt the need to emphasize it due to the events that I am about to retell.

When Frank picked up the phone, he had no idea what he was doing. All he knew was who he wanted to call.

The phone at the other end of the line picked up during the fourth ring.

"Hello?" the voice asked hesitantly, bracing itself for the worst.

"Heeeyyyy, Geeee, what's up my home dog?" Frank greeted through the phone.

"Hi, Frank," Gerard replied, sighing. It was obvious Frank was drunk. Why else would he call?

"So listen Gee," Frank started. "I've been drinking- I mean thinking, a lot, and I'm pretty sure that you should come over. I have something super duper important to tell you!" Frank giggled.

"Frank, you're drunk," Gerard said flatly, stating the obvious.

"I know!" Frank laughed, as if it was the best thing in the world. "C'mon Gee," he pleaded. Gerard's heart shattered at the familiar words.

"Okay," he whispered hoarsely. "But only because I don't trust you to be alone like this."

"YAY!" Frank cheered. Gerard hung up the phone and grabbed his keys, not bothering with his appearance. It's not like it mattered.

~

When Gerard arrived at Frank's house, the door was unlocked. He slowly opened it, knocking on the frame as he entered the house. The smell of alcohol hit him like a brick wall.

He searched the living room and kitchen with no luck. He couldn't find Frank anywhere.

Frank then emerged from the bathroom, his face lighting up when he saw Gerard.

"Gee!" he squealed, running over and hugging the man. Gerard tensed at the contact. What was once familiar and comforting was now leaving him terrified and uncomfortable. He gently pushed Frank back, but the shorter man didn't seem to care. He just started rambling about dogs, as usual.

"Are you listening Gerard?" Frank asked, slightly upset to realize that his "best friend" wasn't listening to his important evaluations of different dog breeds.

"Sorry, you just. I- I think I need to leave," Gerard said. He couldn't stay any longer- not with Frank acting as if nothing happened. As if he hadn't broken Gerard's heart.

"Wait!" Frank said. "I still haven't told you the important thing!" He gave Gerard his famous puppy dog eyes that the older man just couldn't resist.

"Fine, but make it quick," Gerard gave in. Frank's face lifted again and he giggled.

"Okay, okay, I need you to close your eyes!" Frank insisted. Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. He waited for what seemed like hours until he finally felt it. A pair a lips was softly pressing against his own, moving delicately and sweetly. Gerard immediately opened his eyes and almost fainted. Frank was kissing him. He almost found himself kissing back, but he just couldn't do it.

I'm not here to fulfill your gay fucking fantasies, echoed in Gerard's mind. He roughly shoved the other man off of him and turned to leave, but Frank was quicker. He grabbed Gerard's wrist and spun him around so that they were facing each other.

"What the hell!?" Gerard screeched. His breaths were coming quickly in pants. He was completely on edge.

"I thought that's what you wanted?" Frank seemed genuinely confused in his drunken state.

"Not- not like that," Gerard said hoarsely.

"But it's the same, isn't it? I kissed you. Isn't that what the big deal was about?" Frank asked. Gerard shook his head.

"No, it's not the same. You don't love me, so it doesn't matter. If anything, it makes it worse." Gerard tried to leave again, but Frank was stronger, pulling him back and turning them around so that he couldn't escape.

"But I do love you!" Frank exclaimed. Gerard froze. He had waited for over ten years to hear those words, but not like that. Not after Frank insulted him, mocked him, and then got drunk because he was upset that his girlfriend dumped him. No, Gerard had had enough.

"You can't just do that," he whispered, voice cracking.

"Do what?" Frank furrowed his eyebrows.

"You can't play with my feelings like that! You can't just lead me on for two years then go get a bunch of girlfriends and leave me behind! You can't just turn your back on me, and ten years of friendship to call me a faggot and rip my heart out! You can't just come back and kiss me and expect everything to be okay, because it's not! It's not okay! None of this is!" he screamed. Frank looked absolutely shocked. He had no idea Gerard could get like this.

"I'm not just some rag doll you can throw around then come back to fuck when your girlfriend leaves you!" Gerard continued. "I'm a human being, but you've treated me like dirt and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of feeling like this, of being hung up on you when I know it's never going to work, because you'll never really love me!"

Frank blinked once, taken aback. "What makes you think that I wouldn't love you?" he asked. Gerard laughed dryly at that.

"You don't hurt the people you love like that," Gerard stated.

Frank stepped forwards and gripped Gerard's waist. He leaned in. "Love hurts, babe," he whispered, then kissed him. Gerard tried to pull back, to get away, but Frank had a tight hold on him and there was nothing he could do but begin to cry. Frank pulled his face away when he felt Gerard's tears in his own cheeks. He looked annoyed.

"Why are you being such a baby? I told you I loved you and now I'm trying to kiss you. Just fucking take what you can get!" Frank huffed.

"Fuck you," Gerard gritted his teeth, trying to refrain himself from acting violently.

"Yeah, I know you want to. Why don't we? For old time's sake," Frank smirked. At the mention of those days, Gerard's spirits completely vanished. All hope in Frank loving him was gone.

"You just want to fuck me. You don't care," he choked out. Frank rolled his eyes.

"Quit being a drama queen! Why can't we just have some fun?" he groaned in frustration. Why wasn't Gerard hopping into bed with him. Gerard loved him, and he loved Gerard, right? His mind, hazy from the excessive amount of alcohol, couldn't put the puzzle together and figure it.

"I thought I told you, Frank," Gerard said.

"Ugh, you're not getting it!" Frank gestured with his hands wildly. "I do love you! Kayla was just a distraction- they all were- every girl! I wanted to convince myself I didn't love you because I didn't want my feelings to ruin the band!" he explained. Gerard just shook his head.

"I'm leaving," he said, and Frank let him. He stared intently at the closed door, as if it would open and Gerard would run into his arms and they could live happily ever after.

But no, the door didn't open. Gerard didn't come back. Frank was alone.

He finally understood what it felt like to watch someone walk away from you.