My Slice of Life With a Cup of Sarcasm

A Response Letter to My Past Self

I know about a week ago, I said that I was gonna post this, but... you know, shit happens and school is being a pain in the ass. Either way, I'm here for you, my children.

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So about a week ago, I was cleaning my room and I found a journal. It wasn't just any journal. It was my journal where I used to write all of my problems down to try to get rid of them. I couldn't remember when I stopped writing. Probably because of middle school. I remembered that I started writing it ever since I was in 8th grade. I decided to read one of them just for the sake of my nostalgia. I flipped through the pages and found a journal entry that caught my eye.

10/1/2015
Thursday

Problem #7:

Confusing Love

This day is probably the worst day ever. (In my opinion) On the 2nd week of school, I had a crush on him/her, my loving senpai, which is bad thing because I'm suppose to study than to date. So my Taurus friend did a favor for me, (which I didn't realize) they asked him/her on what does he/she thinks of me and he/she said that he/she liked one my friends from my group and it was a friend that was already dating someone else. (So much for a straight answer because Taurus didn't ask if he/she liked anyone.) Ugh, I should start stand up for myself and unfortunately give up my love for him/her. ;~;

A small tear silently fell. I immediately felt terrible at what I should've been doing. I should've just gave up before the love would sink in. Then I decided to write a letter to my past self.

Dear past self,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've followed my priorities than to frolic into what we called depression. If I did what you said before, I... wouldn't even be writing this letter. I would've been focused on school than him/her. What I am to you is you... where I just went through insecurity, anxiety, depression, the cold, grief, forbidden love, and your suicidal thoughts. Do remember the ones from the past? They did return. Don't worry. I'm still alive. This letter is evidence. Evidence showing that you'll survive the path I've taken. For our future self, please. Don't fall like we did. Remember what our brother said:

"If you're looking for love, find the respect you deserve. You went through so much. And if you find someone who gives you the respect you've always wanted and you either know how to give them your respect in return or if you have the time, chances are, they'll be perfect for your now contained love. It maybe hard to finding that kind of love, but it's the love you deserve and what you should look for yourself."

(Fact: I cried while writing this quote. Thank you, bro for having my back.)

Best wishes always,

Deathfang666