The Girl With the Scars

Chapter Forty

What Now - Rihanna

“Spencer” I whispered walking into his room but stopped at a halt as he lifting his hand up motioning me to stop. He was sitting on the bed with his face in his hands when I walked in, but he didn’t even turn around to spare me a single glance before wanting me to leave.

“We need to talk” I plead.

"No, you need to leave” He retorted and I felt my confidence that I had accumulated on my way here dying painfully as the seconds passed by.

“Spencer please stop doing this” I beg, my voice cracking near the end.

“You’re doing this to yourself Hailey so just stop being overdramatic” He said.

I shook my head in disbelief and walked up to him forcing him to face me when he said the words that were piercing through my soul.

“Overdramatic? The only thing I’ve ever done wrong was fall in love with you, I trusted you and you jus- just fuck please don’t do this Spence” I beg again as tears flooded my vision.

“I’m trying to make this easier for you Hailey, just go now” He said refusing to meet my eyes.

“I don’t believe you” I said.

“Just leave it Hailey, I told you I don’t care!” He said, his voice rising as each word was spoken.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you never loved me, or fucking cared for me all this time. Tell me that everything was all a lie and all those nights spent together meant jack shit to you. Tell me Spencer TELL ME!” I shout.

“I DONT CARE DAMMIT! I DONT FUCKING GIVE A SHIT!” He yelled making me flinch back in fear. I saw some remorse in his eyes but that soon covered as he shook he head and continued on.

"You were vulnerable and I took advantage of that and now you’re all clingy and fucking annoying, just leave me alone Hailey and listen closely” He said moving closer “I have never loved you” He said as his eyes burned mine.

"No” I whispered crying.

"That cant be true please” I pleaded “No no no”

I was punching him again and again on his chest while crying my eyes out but he didn’t even flinch, I felt weak breaking down but he’s been the only good thing in my life.

Just like that any hope I ever had was gone, he admit he never loved me and confirmed everything Jason had ever said to me. Leaving me paralysed he brushed past me and into the washroom.

I sat down at the edge of his bed trying to stop the tears from falling. I looked around his room remembering all the times I had spent laughing, kissing, cuddling and making love in here. I remember every time he had looked at me and told me he loved me with raw passion and truth embedded in his green eyes.

“I love you” I whispered getting up.  

   

 ***

The walk back to Jason’s house was dreadful, a million thoughts were flying through my head but the most prominent would be how determinate he looked when he told me he never felt anything real for me, as if this all really was just a big joke to him, as if I never really mattered. I walked into Jason’s apartment, the warmth of it quickly melting away the chills that had formed from the crisp November air outside.

I bite on my tongue to keep the tears trapped in their confines as I hoped to have some time alone before facing a smug Jason.

I made my way up the stairs but stopped as I saw Jason bent over sitting on his bed almost the same way Spencer was, the only difference being his tears.