You Only Ever Who You Were

Want you to know what you mean to me

Mika’s POV

I got home at like seven and was starving. I hummed on my way to the kitchen. I was feeling really happy for some reason. I opened the fridge and grabbed banana. When I closed the fridge Yasmine was standing there. I jumped and said, “What’s with you?” She cocked her head forward and pulled on my shirt. “What is it Yasmine?” I asked. She was kind of creeping me out.

“Exactly where were you this whole time? Don’t lie Mika.” she said eyeing me.  I straightened out and walked past her into the living room. “A friend’s house. No big deal.” I plopped myself on the couch and broke open the banana.

She sat right down next to me and said, “But you never hang out with friends.” 

I looked at her and said, “It’s Ariana. Is that what you want to know?” My sister broke into a wide smile, “Mika you have a girlfriend?” I almost choked on the banana in my mouth, “No! I’m not going out with her, Yasmine.” She stood up and said, “I want to meet her. Pleaseee, Mika?” she leaned against me and folded her hands together. “She’s coming by tomorrow morning.” I said calmly. Yasmine jumped up and got really excited. “Yay! You have to look perfect tomorrow, then. I’ll go pick your outfit.” she said running off to my room.  I rolled my eyes. She was never gonna find anything good in there. I flipped on the television and watched the news. After about ten minutes I was bored so I flipped through the channels. I stopped   when   I   heard the song “Popular” from Wicked. They were showing commercials for the Broadway play in New York. I loved that play. I knew all the words to the all songs. I turned off the TV when the commercial was over and went to my room to find Yasmine throwing everything out of my closet and onto the floor. I grabbed my hair and pulled it while I groaned. “Yasmineee. What did you do in here?” She looked up at me and said, “Looking for something DECENT for you to wear tomorrow.” I rolled my eyes and started to pick up all of the clothes. “A-HA! This’ll do!” she said thrusting a shirt to my chest and throwing a pair of jeans on my head. 

I pulled them off me and looked at what she put together for me: A white button-down t-shirt and slim blue jeans. I looked at her and she smiled.  “Get some rest now, and I can’t wait to meet Ariana.” she skipped out of my room. I sighed. “She’s not mine. She never will be.” I sat on my bed and thought about Ariana. I missed her already. I wonder if it’s obvious that I like her. I went to go brush my teeth and wash my face. I took a fast shower and lazily rubbed shampoo in my hair and rinsed. I dried off and put on an old shirt and baggy blue sweatpants. I pulled myself into bed. I turned off the lights and listened to nothingness and finally fell asleep.

***

I got up at 4 in the morning. I woke up from a dream with Ariana in it: She was leaning against her car and texting something into her phone. I had walked up to her and said hi. She looked up to face and turned her nose at me. I touched her shoulder and tried to get her to turn around. She stayed being stubborn. She finally turned around and said, “Mika. I’m sorry. I don’t like you. We can’t be friends anymore. It’s just… complicated.”  I woke up and gasped. I walked into the bathroom and sung a tune that popped into my head. “How can I help it, how I can help what you think?”  I turned on the facet and splashed water into my face. I looked up in the mirror and hated my reflection. I have a strange face. Stupid curly hair. A big fat bruise on my cheek. If I were stronger and more… guy-ish, I would and could have stood up to Russell. Stupid Russell. I hated him. I can’t even protect Ariana. I’m worthless. She would never like a guy like me. She shouldn’t. She deserves better. I’m just ugly.

I walked back to my room and decided to do something for her. I couldn’t think of anything to do for her. She deserved something great. Like… like… a song. I threw the sheet off my keyboard in the corner of the room. I tore a piece of paper from a notebook and wrote a few lyrics ideas down. “This has to express how I feel for her.” I said to myself and dug around for my headphones and plugged them in the keyboard. I stared at what I wrote down. “Stuck in my head is a picture of you… Want you to know, what you mean to me What will it take, take you to see?” That was good. I started to put them to music. I liked it. Hopefully she would too. I smiled at the thought of her. I came up with more lyrics: I could be staring at somebody new But stuck in my head is a picture of you You are the thunder, I was the rain I wanna know if I’ll see you again I said I love you, you said goodbye Everything changes in the blink of an eye It’s been a while, I still carry the flame I wanna know if I’ll see you again See you again, see you again Want you to know, what you mean to me What will it take, take you to see?

The sun started to shine through the windows. It was six forty five now. I grabbed my phone and recorded what I had so far. Ariana texted me and said: “I’ll be there around 7:15, kay?” I texted back: “Can’t wait!(:”  She texted back: “Haha you’re such a cutie.;)”Butterflies went crazy in my stomach. I quickly changed into the outfit from Yasmine and went downstairs to find her in the kitchen making coffee. “Um what are you doing?” I said when I walked in. She said, “For Ariana.” then turned around and gasped. “Mika! What happened? That wasn’t there last night!”  I rolled my eyes,

 “Yeah I know okay? Do NOT tell Mum about it. Yesterday some idiot punched me and Ariana covered it with makeup last night.” Yasmine covered her mouth. “Oh Mika. Here ice that.” she pulled an icepack out of the freezer and pressed it to my cheek. I sat down and asked her, “Could make me a waffle or something? She coming at 7:15.” Yasmine nodded and tossed two waffles in the toaster then ran upstairs to get ready. I listened to my recording on my phone. My voice is terrible. Ugh. Everything about me was ugly. I tossed my phone in my backpack and ate the waffles when Yasmine came downstairs in a pink blouse and white shorts and black high-top Converse. I rinsed my plate and threw the ice pack back in the freezer.~~Ding dong

I ran to the door and greeted Ariana in a warm hug. She was wearing a white skirt and a baby pink tank top with an enormous white knitted sweater. She walked into the house and her black pumps clicked against the wood floors. She gazed around with her jaw open. “Wow. Mika your house is so big!” I put my hand around her waist and pulled her along with me into the living room where Yasmine and waiting. 

“Wow Mika! this is Ariana! She so pretty!” Yasmine squeaked when we walked in. I blushed and so did Ariana, “Thank you.” she nudged me, “Aren’t you gonna introduce me to this young lady?” I smiled and said, “Yes. This is my sister Yasmine. She’s in eighth grade. She really wanted to meet you.” Ariana smiled and offered her hand to Yasmine to shake. “Hi I’m Ariana. I don’t suppose Mika has mentioned me.” she added smiling. “No. He denied that you were his girlfriend but I still wanted to meet you! He’s very lucky to have you.” my sister said winking Ariana looked at me then at Yasmine, “We really aren’t dating, Yasmine.” she said in a low voice. Yasmine’s beaming smile turned into a frown, “Love is so complicated. You guys like each other. I can see it! Coffee?” Ariana smiled “No. I’m fine. But thank you hon’.” Yasmine rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. 

“Ariana turned to me and touched the bruise gently, “Come ‘on, let’s hide that awful bruise.” She worked her magic and once again my face was somewhat flawless. She checked her phone and said, “We should get going.”