Eyes Bright, Uptight {EDITING}

//on this night, in this light//

George's POV.

The sky was entirely black except for a half-moon that was just bright enough to illuminate the pavement and some of the buildings. Everything that surrounded me looked almost like it was in black and white.

But the hurricane in my brain, that was all gray.

Noelle didn't follow me when I walked out of my own apartmet on a smoke break that I never returned from, and I was relieved. The thought of having to ease her at this moment, to assure her she was the one I wanted to be with, made me feel sick and overwhlemed. I couldn't even answer that question for myself.

Fucking Matty.

Fucking Claire.

Fucking Tinsley and her stupid idea to play spin-the-bottle.

Fucking everyone else for joining in like we were no better than a group of horny high-schoolers, itching to rub each others genetalia.

Fucking me for walking out like a bitch.

It wasn't Matty's fault, I suppose. Claire was beauitful. The way her hair cascaded down her back, the way her lips moved when she talked, the way her voice changed when she talked to him. He was just a guy, a very drunk guy, after all. I couldn't blame him for serving up his best for her.

It wasn't Claire's fault, either, but I expected so much more from her. She waited on Matty's every move, hungry for him to smirk at her or run his hands through his hair. I didn't want to see it, but I couldn't look away.

Sure, I was toying with everyone in the room when I kissed her. I wanted her to know that she could have me if she wanted me. I didn't care that Noelle was there, nor anyone else. When she looked up at me with those big innocent eyes, I thought that's what she wanted. But when she kissed Matty, and the sick masochistic part of me watched them essentially fuck with their clothes on, I knew he beat me. I didn't even want to play the game, but Matty beat me.

I thought so much more of her. The things she was made of- her timidness, her sweetness, the way her lashes fluttered, the way her cheeks blushed, the way she crossed and uncrossed her legs- were going to be eaten away by Matty Healy.

I watched Claire forget who she was, where she was, when he kissed her. The sounds of him grunting and her moaning, way louder than she thought she was, played in my ears over and over, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

My shoes thudded against the stairs to Ross and Adam's apartment as I made my way up, jingling my keys and unlocking the door with my spare. I didn't see Adam's car, which was a good thing since I heard Tinsley and Ross fucking in his bedroom. I scoff/laughed to myself as I kicked off my shoes and laid down on the couch, feeling proud of Ross at the moment, before I quickly fell asleep.

===

Ross shook me awake the next morning.

"Mate," he said, wiggling my shoulders violently, my legs shooting up from dangling from the couch. "You alive?"

I groaned, but nodded my head.

Ross started a speech about how I needed to let him know when I was here, how he is entitled to privacy in his own home, how Tinsley was embarrassed when she saw me passed on on the couch as she was leaving. I let him ramble as I took a piss and went to knock on my guitarist's door.

"Hann?" I knocked again.

The bed was neatly made when I opened the door, and Hann was nowhere to be found.