Lima

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K a r o l i i n a

Our dormitories were shit.

Ten beds on two rows of five were pushed on one side of the stale room, bathroom cubicles on the other. The stalls were dirty, moulds covering the tiled walls. Rust was also covering the pipes, making the water smell like it, too. I can even say that my room back in Abnegation was better and more luxurious than this.

I guess Dauntless really wanted to torture their initiates.

Moving ahead, I took the last bed--the farthest from the door. I am relieved to see that no one decided to take the bunk next to nor across mine. Not even Beatrice, whom with her courageous action of being the first jumper, had acquired new friends and was now chatting away with them.

I took the clothes on top of my bed, feeling its slightly rough texture. Before Four left us, he had said that we should change into the attires placed atop our beds. The clothes were long-sleeved jackets with matching pants, and I was thankful for that. I hated exposing my body.

The only problem was, my mind can't formulate a way to change without letting the rest of the initiates see me. The bathroom stalls were not even an option to consider because aside from its dirty state, it didn't have a door.

I sighed, sitting on my bed and facing away from the rest of my fellow initiates. How can Dauntless prove to be so hard in just the first day?

"Having problems, too?"

Startled, I moved away from the sudden voice, leaning against the wall with a frightened expression.

The bright-eyed girl in front of me covered her mouth--to stop a laugh from coming out or to do a gesture of 'sorry', I don't know which. She held up her other hand, doing a 'peace' sign with her fingers.

"I'm really sorry," She muttered, looking at me with an apologetic face, "I didn't mean to startle you."

I nodded mutely, straightening my posture and looking down on the ground. My worn out, grey shoes from Abnegation suddenly seemed intriguing and interesting.

"I'm Pauline." The girl continued, and I can almost imagine her eyes widening as she says her name.

I looked up a bit, narrowing my eyes from behind my fringe. Pauline had her arm extended towards me, palms open and facing sideways. I furrowed my brows at her gesture. Did she want something from me? Did she want to trade clothes? Maybe hers were a big on her?

Hesitantly, I pushed my clothes to her direction. My hands trembled. I was not sure if my clothes fit her, but if she wanted them, then she should have it. I shouldn't be selfish.

Imagine my surprise when she laughed.

My arm retracted, going close to my chest. I clutched the clothes in my hands tighter, feeling the rejection and shame radiate from me like a river gushing a strong current of water.

"No, no!" She laughed again, shaking her head at me, "I was asking for a hand shake. You know, standard Candor greetings."

I swallowed, putting my head down lower. A hand shake? What was that? Do I have to shake her hand as the name implied? Do I have to raise my hand and shake it in the air? What do I do?

I was getting jittery, and Pauline noticed it. She put her hand down and slowly retreated back to her bed. Biting her lip, she looked at me guiltily and scuttled back to her own bunk and group of friends.

Air was knocked out of my chest, heat blossomed in my cheeks. I collapsed on my bed, feeling the awkwardness seep into my bones.

I was not good at meeting people, a blind man can see that.

The Dauntless cafeteria was rowdy, noisy, and just plain chaos.

People of different ages littered everywhere, clutching trays in their hands. Rows of tables with benches as chairs were lined up in lines of random order, some occupied by talking Dauntless members who were enjoying dinner with their family and friends while some were empty, waiting for people to sit on them.

I made a beeline towards one of the tables in the corner which was shadowed by the roaming people and the low lighting of Dauntless. It was the perfect spot; away from attention and not too noisy.

When I sat down, the entire cafeteria suddenly became silent. I couldn't hear the laughs and chatter amongst the people, nor the sound a utensil makes when it hits a plate.

My heart thudded against my chest, feeling nervous. Why did it become silent? Was it because I sat down immediately? Did I have to ask permission first?

"Shit, Eric's here. He's not going to like her sitting there."

I snapped my head to the side, ears burning at the name of the dead-expressioned man that administered my Aptitude Test. Eric was a big obstacle I had to avoid in Dauntless.

The woman who spoke was whispering, but I heard her words clearly. She was pointing at the cafeteria's entrance doors, murmuring words to her friend who was craning her head up to see someone.

Heavy footsteps echoed in the path leading to the table where I was sitting, making the hairs on my neck stand up. I felt goosebumps in my skin as a shadow loomed over my rigid body.

"What the hell is she doing here?"

My blood ran cold when I heard the angry tone in Eric's voice. My hands tightened into fists, fingers leaving moon-like marks on my skin.

He plopped down on the seat next to me, purposely brushing his arm against mine. Electricity traveled from the spot where he made contact with me. I kept my eyes downwards when he looked at me sideways, his eyes showing yet another blank and dead expression.

"Next time, don't stay here." He snapped, dumping his tray on the table loudly and earning stares from the Dauntless members around us, "This is my table."

I heard the lady beside me gasp, her mouth wide open in shock. "He's not going to kick her out?" Was her loud question.

I stilled, waiting for the reprimand that was about to happen. Eric beside me froze, too, then abruptly stood up and took the gun on his waistband out.

I was trembling at the sight of his deadly weapon. Oh god, was I going to die on my first day here? I didn't even get the chance to try their infamous Dauntless cake.

He aimed the gun at the lady beside me, cocking his head at her direction.

"Shut your big fucking mouth," He snarled, voice taut with aggression, "Your death is just one bullet away."




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