pause // dan howell x reader

Chapter 15 - She Knew

Your POV

Phil's body sinks as he looks up into your eyes. He waits for your response but you just can't give him any. Your mind is blurry from betrayal and your body is frozen from heartbreak.

"Phil, I didn't know..." Your lips finally move and you shake your head. You pull him in for a hug and rub your hand softly up and down his back. A few quiet sobs escape your mouth as you press your face onto his chest.

"But how did you know I... liked him?" You struggle to say and Phil lifts you off of him.

"I've seen the way you talk to Dan. I'm no scientist, but the chemistry is always in the air between you two. Except for- before." He mutters.

"Or maybe I just wasn't paying attention to it. I guess I was paying attention to F/N." Phil continues and stares at his feet on the pavement.

"I'm so selfish." He shakes his head.

"What? Phil, no you're not. You care about her, you're allowed to feel upset, mad or unwanted, but let me tell you, you definitely aren't one of those. You're not unwanted." You place a hand on his shoulder and smile at him. He sends a weak one back, the corner of his lip rising the tiniest bit.

"Thanks Y/N." Phil shrugs.

"I'm only saying the truth." You reply and he grins brighter, the life comes back to his eyes.

"Do you want to go back inside?" He asks and stuffs his hands into his pockets. You let your hand fall off his shoulder and turn your head to the entrance door. What would you do once you were back in there? Dash towards F/N and rip her goddamn hair out?

She knew you liked Dan. She knew how much you danced in your room because of him, the amount of times you doodled his name on a random sheet of paper or the reason you screamed because of a text. She knew.

She just didn't think twice about you.

-

You and Phil decide to part separate ways. He heads home and so do you.

You burst open the flat door and prepare to get as much food into your gob like it's your 8th birthday party. You scoop up all of it and dump it onto the couch, pulling out your laptop from it's charger.

After several hours of eating and watching YouTube videos, the front door opens. You don't dare to look or even speak to F/N. She manages to do that for you.

"Why did you leave early?" She asks as if nothing happened and chucks her keys on the table.

"Why were you even there?" You snarl, glaring into her eyes as she looks clueless back in yours.

"I was celebrating for you." She excuses.

"Oh really? I guess you didn't have a date with Nate or whatever the hell it was. It doesn't matter, it was just a lie." F/N takes a step back and lifts her hands up defensively. You slide your laptop off your lap angrily.

"I was ju-"

"I can't believe you F/N. You kissed Dan right in front of me. Do you know how much that hurt me?!" You raise your voice and stand up off the couch.

"So? I can't help myself if he's my boyfriend!" She yells back. You slowly sit down again, your legs going limp.

"What?" Your lip wobbles and you feel a lump building up in your throat.

"Dan's my boyfriend. He's gonna stop looking at you like he used to and he's gonna stop holding your hand. After hearing you mope on and on about him, he finally is mine." F/N crosses her arms.

"So you did this in spite of me?" You furrow your eyebrows.

"Gosh, do you even care about me? I like Dan too. I have all this time. If you were done obsessing about yourself for one second then you would have known." She snaps and checks her hair in the mirror.

"What do you have in common? You're nothing alike." You stand up and she hastily spins around.

"I'm not going to bother if you're going to be this rude and- I'm heading to Dan's." She sighs and grabs her keys once again.

"Well, I'm going to Phil's." You snap and rush towards the front door, picking up your keys along the way.

The both of you childishly run down the stairs, trying to race each other. You open the door first and watch as a taxi nears the curb. Quickly, you wave your arm up and the driver pulls over. You give F/N a cheeky smile and dash towards the car door, opening it and shoving yourself inside.

You slam the door shut and grin at F/N who looks so agitated. That's what she deserves. It may be small, but it's still revenge.

-

You knock on the door several times and wait patiently. A figure soon opens it and pokes his head around the side. You recognise his eyes that you get lost in and his soft lips that you wish you could kiss.

He looks the same as he always does. He doesn't look like he's changed, but F/N has.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" He gives you a soulful look but you ignore him and push past his body. You rush up the stairs and walk into Phil's room. He's recording a video but you don't care. You tackle him on his bed and bury your face into his chest.

He begins to chuckle but it soon softens as he looks down at you.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" He strokes your hair and you shake your head. Phil warmly wraps his arms around your crumpled body.

"Oh, Y/N."

Sorry this chapter was boring and crap. If you somehow liked it, please vote and comment. 

BTW I HAVE A TEST AND 5 ASSIGNMENTS DUE THIS WEEK, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE