Redemption

Part 7

Ward's POV:

Jessica shut herself off from the world, she remained quiet and numb but the tears falling from her face would never end. When we got back to the base she headed straight for her room, Daisy joined her trying to talk to her but Jess didn't even acknowledge her. She was hurting, too much, and I hated every second of it.

I tried to save Ethan, I tried to find him before they could but as soon as I stepped outside the party I heard the gunshot and knew we had to go. They would have seen Jess speaking to him which only put her life in danger. 

"My office, now" Coulson walked past me and I followed him to his office. This whole mission was destroyed because of Ethan's actions. Yes, it was a good thing on my behalf because they wasn't closer to finding out any information about Hydra's plans. Yet, it was bad because Jess was a state and I couldn't stand to see her that way. "What happened back there?" Coulson asked as I walked in, shutting the door behind me.

"He stormed off and acted stupid" I told him, leaning against the wall as he watched me. 

"The earpieces you and Jessica had were shut off for a few minutes. Care to explain that?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I didn't want you eavesdropping on our conversation" 

"So you made him jealous? Caused him to be reckless resulting in his death? You wouldn't mind that though, I guess that's just another obstacle out of the way" He frowned at me and I stood up straight, shaking my head frowning back.

"I know what you think of me but I wouldn't let him die. Did I like him? No. Would I want him dead? No. He made her happy Coulson! Even though it killed me to see her happy with him, I was glad. I want her to be happy, I wanted to find him and save him but when I left the party to search for him I heard gunshots and the guards were looking around for her. They saw her speak to him, they suspected something was wrong so I had to get her out of there" I explained all that had happened but he didn't look convinced.

"You're selfish Ward, we all know that. Ethan's death is a miracle for you because now you think she'll just fall into your arms" 

"That's where you're wrong. I don't need her to love me Coulson, I just need to know I can make sure she's safe. I want her to be happy and safe, that's all" 

"It seems a bit suspicious that he was shot as soon as you left Jessica. I mean, how do I know you didn't kill him?" 

"Because I already saved him once, If I wanted him dead, he would've been dead from the start" I crossed my arms over my chest, watching Coulson as he paced up and down, racking his brain to find a way to blame me for this. "There was something not quite right about him. He was extremely stupid"

"What do you mean?" He stopped pacing and waited for me to speak.

"When we was finding the inhuman, Ray, he seemed to just be out in the open, waiting to get shot. If I didn't push him, he would've been dead. At the party he seemed to just drift off which isn't very professional. No matter what he felt during that time, he should have stuck to his orders, not wonder off" 

"How would you feel if the one you loved was in the arms of another man, who hurt her and destroyed her life but there was nothing you could do about it?" He asked and I felt my muscles involuntarily tense. I didn't show how that would make me feel, Coulson would use my feelings as a weakness against me.

"I'd have to stick to the mission" I told him, keeping my face blank to not give anything away. He chuckled sarcastically before shaking his head and waving me off.

"You can go now but I wouldn't recommend seeing Jessica. She needs some time alone, or with her family. If you want to make yourself useful you can tell us anything you know about Hydra, either that or you can sulk in the canteen" I sighed and walked out of his office, walking towards the canteen. I knew that I couldn't see Jess, no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted to hold her and to tell her everything would be okay even though it wasn't. There were some things I could not protect her from and someone else's death was one of those things. I couldn't control how she felt, how she dealt with her emotions. I wish I could take all the pain she felt away so she could be happy again but that was impossible. I needed to let Daisy help her, comfort her because she really needed it.

I stopped walking as Daisy walked pass me, tears still in her eyes. 

"Daisy?" I called out to her and she stopped, staring at me confused. "Please, help her" I whispered making her look even more confused.

"Why do you care?" 

"I just do. I can't stand seeing her like this" 

"She's strong but this is something that will put her to the test. She needs to heal, Ward. You being here will not help her" She told me and I shook my head. "I know that you'll protect her but that's on missions. The only way you can protect her at the moment is to leave her alone" She stormed off leaving me feeling hurt, pathetic. I could remember the time where I felt feelings towards Daisy but the feelings I had for Jess? Nothing in comparison. I was willing to give up everything and to change for Jess, I wasn't sure why and I wish I didn't feel that way but I did. I betrayed Hydra, I was going to run away with her, off the grid and I was going to be a better man, a hero for her. At the moment I was just hurting her though, I didn't want it to be that way but the very thought of myself caused her pain. Even though I wanted to protect her, me being here was slowly going to destroy her.